Stay By My Side
by xx.Meryl
Summary: A month after 15 year old Bella was adopted by the Cullen's, she finds out she is pregnant. This is the story of Bella's journey to find out the real meaning of family. ALL HUMAN. Edward and Bella later on in the story.
1. Pink Plus Sign

**Heey Everyone! So here is my second multi chaptered story!! If any of the info is off, I'm sorry. I haven't actually had a baby, so I don't really know that much. Bear with me though, kay? Hope you like it!!**

**Disclaimer: I do not own any of these characters, although I'm pretty sure they do own me. **

No. No way. No effing way. I shook the piece of plastic in my hand, but the pink plus sign wouldn't go away. I fell against the sink, and threw the plastic stick at the wall as hard as I could.

"Fuck my life. How could this happen?" I cried. I crawled over to where the pregnancy test had landed, and looked at it again. "Fuck." The plus sign was still there. As bright and pink as ever.

"Bella, dinner!" I heard Esme call from downstairs.

They are going to send me back, I just know it. Who wants a pregnant daughter? I actually like it here too. Carlisle and Esme are so sweet, and all of their other adopted children are so nice. I've ruined it all though.

"Bella?" Esme called again.

"I'm coming." It was barely a whisper. How could I tell her this? Her and Carlisle had done so much for me, and here I go and ruin it all.

I was living in a foster home the night I had gone to that party. I didn't even want to go to the stupid party. But I did. And of course Kyle was there, and of course no one could hear me scream with a pillow over my face. And of course I would end up pregnant at 15. Thats just how my fucked up life goes.

2 weeks after that horrible night, I was adopted by the Cullen's and I had decided to put that night out of my head forever. But now, 6 weeks and 4 days after the forgotten party, that night has come back to haunt me.

I opened the bathroom door, and quickly ducked into my room. I hid the pregnancy test under my mattress. Maybe no one has to find out about this right away.

I walked down to the kitchen where the rest of the family was already sitting around the dining room table. I sat down at my regular spot between Alice and Rosalie. I filled my plate without saying anything.

"How was everyone's day?" Carlisle asked, as he did every evening.

"Good," Everyone except me mumbled. No one really ever goes into detail, unless its big news.

"Bella, how was your day? You look like your not feeling well. Are you okay?" Esme asked, concern clearly written across her face.

"No." I shook my head, "Can I please be excused?"

"Of course dear, do you need anything?" I shook my head, cleared my plate then ran up to the room I share with Alice.

I locked the door, reached under my mattress and checked it again. It was the same as I had left it. I sat down on my bed, and took a deep breath.

_I don't have to make any decisions tonight, _I reminded myself. I lay down on my bed, and stared up at the ceiling. _Should I tell Kyle? No Bella, stop thinking about it. He's in Phoenix, your in Forks. What would telling him do? He wouldn't do anything. Maybe if I just ignore this...just pretend this never happened. It's not my fault after all, I didn't choose to have sex. At least not that time. Not with Kyle. Shut up Bella. Go to sleep. Don't think about it. _

The sun shone bright through the window in the morning and the heat on my face woke me up. Alice was still asleep in her bed, breathing quietly. All of a sudden my stomach turned, and I threw off the quilt. I ran to the bathroom, and leaned over the toilet.

Once I was done I leaned back against the wall, and cried quietly. Was this going to happen every morning? It would be awfully hard to ignore this if I spent my mornings with my head in the toilet.

I heard footsteps in the hall, and I pulled my self up. I brushed my teeth, and washed my face, then crawled back into my bed.

"Alice? Bella?" Esme opened our door. "Girls, get up!"

Alice moaned, then climbed out of bed, heading towards the bathroom.

"Bella?" Esme walked into the room. I rolled over so I was facing away from her. "Bella, time to get up."

"I'm not feeling well," I whispered, still not looking at her. "Can I stay home today?"

"Sure dear, can I get you anything?" She sounded concerned.

"No thanks." I murmured, then I heard her leave the room. I pulled the covers over my head, and cried some more.

I must have cried my self to sleep, because when I woke up my clock read 2:30 in the afternoon. My stomach growled, so I climbed out of bed, and went down to the kitchen. I found some left over pizza in the fridge, and sat down on one of the bar stools.

Esme walked into the kitchen, and looked surprised to see me. "Bella," She smiled, "Are you feeling better?" Her face was filled with concern, and she looked so sweet. I was so tempted just to tell her the truth, but I knew that would not end well, so I just shrugged.

"Not really," I mumbled. She placed her hand on my forehead.

"No fever." She said. "Maybe we should go the doctor."

"No!" I say way to quickly. She looked at me suspiciously. "No," I repeated, calmer. "I'm just going to go back to sleep.

I ran up to my room, and buried my self back under the covers. I wasn't tired, but I didn't feel like doing anything, so I just stayed under the covers until I heard the other kids get home from school.

I joined them for dinner, barely eating. For some reason chicken seemed utterly repulsive. I moved it around my plate, cutting it into small pieces so it looked like I was actually eating.

Esme watched me through out the whole meal, and I had this feeling that she knew. _That's ridiculous Bella, _I told my self, _How could she know? _

"Bella, I'm worried about you..." Esme said.

"Don't be, I'm fine. I'm feeling a lot better. Is it okay if I make pasta though, I don't really feel like chicken."

"Sure dear, whatever you need." Esme smiled.

I really did feel better as I walked into the kitchen a put a pot of water on the stove. Maybe it would be easy to ignore this.

Or maybe not. The next morning I was kneeling over the toilet again, throwing up and crying at the same time.

I climbed back into bed, really not feeling like going to school. Once everyone was gone Esme knocked on my door. Before I answered, she walked in and sat on the end of my bed.

"I'm really worried about you, Bella." She spoke quietly. "I really think we should go to the doctor."

"I really think we shouldn't." I replied, my voice sour.

"Listen Bella, if your not better by Friday then I am taking you to the doctor."

I bit my lip, then sighed. "Fine." What else could I say? There was no way I was going to be 'better' in two days.

"Thank you Bella. You know I tend to worry about you guys. I love you, and I don't want anything to happen to you. Better safe then sorry, right?"

"Right," I sighed, wondering if she would still love me after she found out I was damaged goods.

"Get some sleep Bella, I don't want you to miss too much school." She stood up.

I nodded, "Yeah, me neither." I pulled the quilt over my head, and the second I heard Esme walk into the hall, I started crying again.

**I really hope you liked it! Sorry its not that long, I just wanted to see if people like it before I go an write a really long chapter. Please PLEASE review =) If you review I will send you a sneak peak of the next chapter. I am going to try and update every other day, so chapter 2 will be out monday. Review though, and I'll send you a sneak peak =) **

**Thanks, **

**Love Alice **


	2. Out in the Open

**Here is the next chapter! This one is a lot longer! Hope you enjoy!**

**Disclaimer: I just got a new passport, and it doesn't say Stephenie Meyer on it =(**

I stayed in my bed all day. In my head I ran over all my options.

I could run away, but then where would I be? Homeless, poor and pregnant? I could just get rid of the baby, that would be the easiest thing to do. In the back of my mind though I knew I could never actually go through with that. This baby is the only blood family I have, and there's no way I could kill it. Adoption doesn't sound very appealing either. I spent my entire childhood moving from one foster home to another, and I could never damn my baby to that horrible life.

That left one option. Keeping it. I didn't know if Carlisle and Esme would be okay with that, but I knew that in my heart of hearts, thats what I wanted to do. Raise my baby, give it the love I never had growing up. It would be tough, but I bet I could do it.

Esme called us down for dinner, but I told her I wasn't feeling well enough to eat. I knew she was worried, but in two days all her worries would be eased, and her worry would be replaced with anger.

Alice came into our room, and sat down on her bed.

"Hi Bella," She said in her high voice. "Are you feeling better?"

"Not really," I muttered.

"I bet you have the flu." She mused, "Or maybe food poisoning."

"Doubt it."

"Bella?" She asked, her voice suddenly very serious, "Is something wrong?"

Alice is the sister I had always dreamed of. Shes thirteen, but shes not an annoying boy obsessed teenage girl, like Rosalie. Rosalie is fourteen, and all she cares about is boys and her hair. Alice on the other hand is unique, and not afraid to show it.

"Don't worry about it Alice." Thats what adults always told me when they didn't want me to know something.

"Okay, if your sure." She stood up, and walked over to her desk, she opened a textbook and began writing something down.

I climbed out of bed, and went down to the living room. Emmett and Edward seemed to be in the middle of a very fast paced video game. I crawled onto the couch, wrapping a fuzzy blanket around my self.

"Hey squirt," Emmett said, not taking his eyes of the TV, "Long time no see. Feeling better?" Emmett is seventeen, and a great brother. He is fun and loud and is the best person to get in trouble with. He is also a big teddy bear who I know loves his family.

Edward is sixteen, and an equally great brother, just in a different way. He is very smart, and very caring and an amazing musician. He is very sensitive to the thoughts of the people around him, and always knows what to say to make you feel better.

Jasper, who is Rosalie's twin, is a lot like Edward. Sweet, kind and very sensitive to how people are feeling. He's definitely the quietest kid in the family.

"Not really." I muttered, wrapping the blanket tighter around me.

Esme walked into the room holding a bowl of chips. "Bella," She sounded surprised, "Feeling better?" I just shook my head, She sighed, "Let me make you some soup."

I am pretty hungry. "Thanks." I climbed off the couch and followed her into the kitchen. I sat down on one of the bar stools as she got out a pot.

She sat next to me as I ate, watching me the whole time. "You don't want the chicken?" She observed, as I carefully avoided the pieces of chicken.

"Not tonight." I said into my bowl.

"Are you sure you want to wait till Friday to go to the doctor? We can go tomorrow if you want."

I knew either way I would have to go. And either way she would find out. Maybe getting it over with sooner would be better.

I took a deep breath. "Okay. Fine, we can go tomorrow."

I went back up to my room, and crawled under my covers. It feels like I've spent an awful lot of time under here lately. I reached under the mattress where the plastic stick as hidden. The pink plus sign was still there.

I know Alice could hear me as I cried my self to sleep, but luckily she didn't say anything. She let me cry in peace until sleep took over me.

I woke up the next morning, and ran for the bathroom. I threw up and cried, then sat back against the wall, putting my head between my knees to relieve some of the dizziness.

There was a knock on the door, "Bella?" Alice asked.

"One second Alice," I pulled my self up, brushed my teeth, then went back to my room. I walked over to my closet, and pulled out a pair of sweats and a hoodie. I got dressed, pulled my hair up into a messy ponytail, then went down stairs.

"Morning Bella." Emmett called from the kitchen table.

"Mornin'" I smiled. I didn't feel like eating, so I went into the family room. I turned on the TV and started watching an old rerun of Friends.

"Bella, your appointment is at noon, so I'm gonna drop Alice, Rosalie and Jasper off at school, run some errands then come back and get you, okay? Be ready by eleven thirty." Esme told me as she came down the stairs.

"Okay. Eleven thirty, got it."

I watched TV until everyone left, then went up to my room. I opened my white mac book, and went onto Facebook.

Facebook is the only way I am able to keep in touch with all the people I have met in all my different homes; and there have been a lot of homes.

I hadn't been on facebook since before I found out about the baby, and its amazing to see how simple life was before. I had a bunch of messages from people asking to hang out, or telling me to feel better. My status that I had made last week was 'Bellas gunnnaa partyy with Jess and Ang on saturday!!' Two days from now I was supposed to be out partying. Now I doubt Jess and Angela will even want to talk to me.

I updated my status to a more appropriate: 'Bella wants to go die in a hole.' Then logged off. I still had two hours before I had to leave, so I went back downstairs and watched old reruns till Esme got back.

"Lets get going Bella!" Esme called from the front door.

I turned off the TV, said a silent goodbye to life as I know it, then followed her out to the car.

We drove to the Doctors in silence. All I could think about was how Esme would react. She said she loves us no matter what, but does she really mean that?

I followed her to the receptionists desk. "Name?" The blonde lady behind the counter asked.

"Isabella Cullen." Esme answered for me.

"Take a seat. Dr Wright will come get you momentarily."

Esme and I sat down on the hard plastic chairs. She grabbed a People Magazine, and I picked at my finger nails. I tapped my foot against the floor nervously, and chewed my bottom lip.

"Isabella Cullen?" A young lady with a long brown ponytail walked into the waiting room. Esme and I stood up and walked over to her. "Hi there, I'm Doctor Wright, you must be Isabella," She looked at me.

"Bella," I corrected, "yes." I shook her hand.

"And you must be her mother." Dr Wright smiled at Esme.

"Yes, I'm Esme Cullen," She smiled warmly at the Doctor.

"Bella, do you want your mom to come in with us, or wait out here?"

"Stay here please." I looked apologetically at Esme.

Esme returned to her plastic seat, and Dr Wright led me to a small room. She sat down on a rolling chair and told me to sit on a plastic chair across from her.

"Wow Bella," She said flipping through her clipboard, "It looks like you sure have moved around a lot. And I see here that you changed your last name last month."

"I was in the Foster care system up until last month. Then the Cullen's adopted me. They are the first real family I have ever had, and I wanted to take their last name."

"Ok Bella, so it says here that you came today because you have been sick for the past week. Is that right."

"Mhmm." I nodded. Sick, pregnant, whats the difference really?

"So I'm going to ask you a few questions. Is that alright."

"Sure." Could I actually say no?

"So first off, how old are you?"

"I'm 15. A freshman in High School."

"Any history of illness or severe injuries?"

"No."

"How have you been adjusting to your new home?"

"I love it!" I gushed, "They are such an amazing family!"

"You get along with you siblings?"

"Yes, they are all amazing. And they all made me feel so welcome when I first came."

"And your parents?"

"I really like them. Carlisle and Esme are the most amazing people I have ever met." I'm sure going to miss them when they kick me out.

"And you like your new school?"

"Yes. All the kids are really nice. I have even made some good friends."

"So Bella, what exactly is wrong. What kind of sickness?"

"I'm flu like in the morning, and get really dizzy. In the evenings though I feel fine, unless I have chicken." May as well be honest, she was going to find out either way.

"Has chicken ever bothered you before?"

"No, never."

"And you only get sick in the morning?"

"Yes."

"When was your last period?"

I took a deep breath, "Seven weeks ago." I whispered. This was it...we were getting close.

"Bella, are you sexually active?"

"Yes." I whispered, even quieter.

"For how long now?"

"Almost two years."

"Are you on the pill?" She set her clipboard down, and looked at me. Her face was full of compassion, like she knew exactly what I was going through.

"No." I chocked out.

"Did he use protection?"

"Yes...except..." Except that one fucking night.

"Except what?" I didn't respond, "Bella, what you tell me here is confidential. I don't have to tell your mom the things you don't want her to know."

"I don't think I'm sick." I said, then the tears started flowing. "I didn't...It got out of hand...I mean...it...I...I didn't...I didn't...I..." I was crying too hard to get a complete sentence out.

"Bella," Dr Wright spoke softly. "Have you taken a pregnancy test?"

I was crying to hard to answer, so I just reached into my purse, and pulled out the stick. "I'm sorry!" I sobbed.

"Bella, do you want me to get your mom?"

"No..no!" I shook my head. I hadn't planned to break down like this, but everything was so overwhelming. Being here, talking to a doctor, it made it feel so...real.

"Okay, well lets first of all confirm that you are pregnant. Then I will perform a general physical. Is that okay?" She asked.

I took a few deep breaths, and eventually calmed down. "Yes." She handed me a gown, and I went to change into it.

Forty five minutes later I was dressed in my sweats again, sitting in the small room waiting for Dr Wright to return with my results. Not that there was any doubt in my mind that it would come back positive. I wonder if I will finish high school? Go to College? Have a career? Maybe I could do online school, or maybe Esme could watch the baby...if I was still allowed to live with them.

The door opened, and Dr Wright walked in holding some papers. She shut the door behind her, and sat down. She looked at the papers, then looked at me. She nodded, confirming what I had already known. I took a deep breath, then looked up at her.

"What now?" I whispered. "What do I do? They are going to send me back."

"Bella I doubt they will send you back. You are their daughter, and I'm sure they will love you no matter what. Are you planning on carrying the baby to term?"

"Yes, this is my only blood family. I'm going to keep it...and raise it."

"Are you sure? That is a huge responsibility. I think we should call your mother in here. We can tell her together about this. I will tell you all of your options, and give you some pamphlets. I will refer you to a family councilor who will help you with whatever you decide to do."

"Tell Esme?" I asked.

"She has to know." Dr Wright said. "But I will tell her with you. It will be okay. Should we go get her?"

"I...I...I guess..." I stood up and followed her out into the waiting room.

"Mrs Cullen?" Dr Wright asked, "Could you please join us?"

"Of course." Esme stood up and followed us back to the room. I refused to look at her. She sat down in the chair next to me, and Dr Wright sat across from us.

"Is Bella okay?" Esme asked, worried.

"Shes not sick." The doctor answered. Then she looked at me. I felt like I couldn't breath. I looked at Esme's heart shaped face, he caramel hair falling around it. She looked so worried, but I knew that by relieving the worry I would only be igniting the anger.

"Mrs Cullen, Bella has something very difficult she would like to tell you. Please hear her out before you say anything."

"Of course, Bella, are you okay?"

"Esme, I am so, so sorry. I..." I took a deep breath.

"Esme, I'm pregnant." I whispered,

**PLEASE REVIEW!!! I'm not going to work my butt of writing new chapters if no one is reading, so PLEASE review. It doesn't have to be long, just a few words is good. If you review I will send you a sneak peak of the next chapter. **

**Thanks,**

**Love Alice **


	3. Desperate

**Here is the next chapter! Hope you enjoy, and please review!!**

**Disclaimer: Me now own. You no sue. **

"Esme, I am so, so sorry. I..." I took a deep breath. "Esme, I'm pregnant." I whispered,

She looked at me, shock written clear across her face. "Bella..." She said in disbelief.

"I'm so sorry Esme." I looked down at my hands. "Are... are you going to send me back?"

"I don't get it." She finally said. "Bella, how long..."

"Almost seven weeks." Dr Wright said.

"In the foster home?" Esme asked.

"At a party. There was this football player... I said no, but I guess he had been drinking...I tried to stop him...It got out of hand...I am so, so sorry Esme!"

"I should have seen the signs, morning sickness, the certain foods...how could I have missed it..." She shook her head.

"Most mothers don't see the signs, or don't want to see them at least." Dr Wright said. "But you can't dwell on the past. You have to think about your options."

"I already told you, I don't have any options. I'm keeping it." I said firmly.

"Bella, what about adoption? You are only a child yourself... I don't think your ready for a baby." Esme said quietly.

"No!" I shouted, "I'm not giving my baby away. I was given up as a baby. I know first hand how horrible that it! I know, and have experienced all of the horrible things that happen in some of those homes. No parents to love you, or care about you. No, no fucking way am I putting my baby into one of those hell holes!"

"You can negotiate an open adoption. You can choose the family your baby goes to. You can keep in touch with the family, and watch your baby grow up." Dr Wright handed me a pamphlet on open adoptions.

"I said no!" I cried, throwing the pamphlet on the ground, "I'm keeping my baby!" How could they even think of making give my baby away. It was mine, and I want to keep it.

"You don't have to make that decision right now. But if you are planning on carrying your baby to term, there are some things you need to know." She went on to tell me about proper nutrition, and about environmental hazards. She gave me a list of all the things I should do to ensure the health of my baby, as well as all of the things I should avoid.

"What about school?" I asked, after she finished telling me of all the activities I should avoid.

"That is a decision that you and your family will have to make. The baby was conceived six weeks and six days ago, October 20th. That makes your due date in and around July 20th. You could finish your freshman year, have your baby in the Summer and then either go back to school in September if your parents are willing to care for the baby during the day, or you could always consider online education or home schooling. That is, if you are keeping the baby."

"I am keeping the baby." I insisted.

"We'll talk about it at home, okay Bella?" Esme said. "This will have to be a family decision."

We made an appointment to come back in three weeks, then Esme and I left. She carried a binder full of information under her arm as we silently walked out to the car.

"We are going to meet with a family therapist." She told me as we climbed into the car. "You, me and Carlisle. We have an appointment for tomorrow after school."

School.

I was probably going to finish my freshman year at my current school. What were people going to say? They were going to find out, I mean thats inevitable. I'm going to get huge. I have never been bigger then a size 2 in my life, and soon I will need elastics on the front of my jeans.

"Bella, why didn't you tell anyone that he raped you?" She glanced at me.

"Esme, you have no idea what I was like back then. You know nothing about who I was." I hadn't told anyone about all of the guys I slept with. Not that anyone would care.

"When you don't have a family to tell you how much they love you...when people throw you out of their homes because you aren't good enough, when your whole life is in a suitcase...you'll do anything for someone to tell you that they love you. Being thirteen is hard, and its even harder when you are going through everything alone. I just needed someone to say 'I love you.'"

"Bella..." She whispered.

"I wasn't smart, okay. I know that. I was downright stupid. I don't want to talk about this anymore." I crossed my arms, and stared out the window.

"Bella..." She repeated. "I'm so sorry."

"Its not your fault." I told her.

"Still, I wish you had told me."

"Told you what," I snapped, "That your new daughter is a knocked up slut? Sorry, but I didn't think that would make a very good first impression."

"Maybe we need this therapy more then I thought," She muttered under her breath. I ignored her, staring at the blur of green outside my window.

To my relief the rest of the ride home was silent.

Esme dropped me off at home, then went to get the kids from school. Emmett and Edward were already home since our high school ends an hour earlier then the middle school.

"Hey Belly Button!" Emmett greeted as I walked into the house. He eyed the binder in my arms. "Whats in there?" He asked.

"Nothing." I growled.

"Aw, come on Bells!" He whined, "Tell me!"

"Its nothing!" I cried, and ran towards the stairs.

"You better leave her alone Em, she doesn't look very happy." Edward warned as I ran into my room.

I threw the binder on my bed, the went over to my computer. When I went on my facebook I saw that Jessica and Angela had both commented on my status.

Jessica said, "Whats wrong Bells? Are you sick? We missed u at school =( Are you okay?"

Angela just said, "Call me if you want to talk."

Thats why I love Ang. She is caring, and always there for you. She doesn't pry though. I wonder if she will still be my friend after she finds out.

I picked up my phone, tempted to call Angela, but then I set it down. I don't think I'm ready for my friends to find out yet. I'd tell the rest of family before I told anyone else.

I eyed the binder, afraid to open it. I knew it was full of pamphlets encouraging me to give my baby to a family that can properly care and support it, and I just can't do that.

I threw the binder on the floor, then flopped onto my bed. I wonder where the baby will go? I doubt Alice will want to have a screaming baby in our room. I wonder what gender it will be? I got placed my hand on my stomach.

_I love you baby, _I thought, _You and I are going to stick together, right? We're gonna be there for each other. _I smiled at the thought of some one loving me unconditionally. Not just saying they love me to get me in bed, but a little baby who will rely on me, and love me no matter what.

"Bella!" Alice danced into our bedroom. I sat up, and looked at her. Alice is small for her age, and has short black hair. She is incredibly graceful, and has endless amounts of energy.

She is so innocent, and I tried to picture my self at 13...I was the polar opposite of Alice. She was lucky that Carlisle and Esme saved her in time. She was in a foster home too, but they adopted her when she was eight, before anything truly bad could happen to her.

"Hi Alice." I smiled, kicking the binder under my bed.

"Are you feeling better?" She asked, sitting down next to me.

"Sort of," I shrugged.

"Thats good." She smiled. "Mom wants to talk to you. She told me to tell you to go see her in her room."

"Thanks, Alice." I mumbled.

I knocked on Esme's door quietly. "Come in!" She called. I opened the door, and peered into her and Carlisle's master suite.

She was sitting on her bed with her laptop in front of her. She motioned for me to sit next to her.

"Come join me Bella," She patted the spot next to her. "Lets watch a movie."

**I will dedicate the chapter to the person, or people, who guess what movie Esme wants her to watch =) Please review!!!!**

**Lots of Love, Alice **


	4. Telling the Family

**Hey everyone! Sorry it took me so long to update, I am out of the country with my school, and I haven't really had access to a computer. We had a break today though, and this was the first thing I did =) Anyway, I probably won't be able for another week. I get home next Sunday, so I will try to update then. Anyway hope you like this chapter!!!**

**This chapter is dedicated to **twilight1987, and FloseyJS **for guessing the right movie: JUNO **

**Disclaimer: If I was SM I would not be writing fan fiction. **

"Come join me Bella," She patted the spot next to her. "Lets watch a movie."

"Um, I don't really feel like it." I mumbled, turning towards the door. I was just about to walk into the hall, but her pleading voice made me stop.

"Please Bella." She asked, "I think its important." I turned around and looked at her. I would have left her room and not given it a second thought, but something about the expression on her face made me stop. She wanted to help me, and who was I to deny her that when really, help was what I needed all along. Nobody had ever cared for me enough to want to help me before, and the fact that Esme loved me enough to help me through something like this made me walk towards her bed, even though I really didn't want to.

I sighed, and sat next to her on the king sized bed. She smiled, then popped a disk into the drive. I was just beginning to relax when the main menu for Juno filled the small screen.

"Esme!" I shouted, "Are kidding me! Is this a joke?" I jumped off the bed. "If this is some pathetic attempt to get me interested in adoption, just save it! Just fucking save it for some one who gives a shit!"

"Bella!" She begged, "Please," She shut the computer, and climbed off the bed, trying to come stand next to me.

"No!" I shouted, pushing her away. "Just fucking stop!" I cried as I ran out of her room. I threw the door to my room open, and dove onto my bed.

"Bella!" Alice said looking up from her textbook, surprised, "Whats wrong?"

"Fuck off Alice," I yelled as I buried my face into my pillow.

I heard Alice gasp. I had never yelled at her before. I felt bad for swearing at her, but I was too upset to apologize.

There was a knock on our door, and I heard Alice get it. "Alice," Esme's soft voice was gentle, "Can I talk to Bella please? Alone."

"Sure." I heard Alice flutter down the stairs, and Esme sat on her bed.

"Bella, I'm sorry. That wasn't fair of me. I shouldn't force anything, we need to look over everything before we start to make those decisions."

Anger took over me, and I sat up. "Esme, where did you grow up?"

She looked taken aback, "What do you mean?"

"Who did you live with?" I spoke slowly, as though I was speaking to a small child.

"My parents." She said cautiously, probably wondering where I was going with this.

"Okay, well I grew up with new parents every few months. Some of them were nice, and some of them were down right abusive. I don't think you can possibly imagine some of the things that happen in the homes I was in."

"Bella..." She tried to reach for my hand, but I pulled it away.

I turned away from her. "I am not, under any circumstances, giving up my baby. I hope you understand that."

Esme sighed, "I understand Bella." The room was silent for a few minutes before Esme spoke again. "We have to tell them."

I knew who she meant right away. I had been dreading telling the rest of my family. I'm sure none of them will treat me the same anymore. I'm _no one _ will treat me the same anymore.

"We should tell Carlisle first, and then tell the kids." Esme suggested.

"Fine." I agreed. Esme nodded, but she didn't get up. I looked up at her, tears blurring my vision, "Is he going to be mad?"

"This wasn't your fault," She told me.

"It could have been. There are so many times where this could have happened. You should be mad at me...my mom would have been." I said the last part so quietly that even I had trouble hearing me.

"Your mom would not be mad at you, she would be proud of you for being such a strong girl. Not many kids could have lived like you lived and still have such a strong spirit."

"What do you know about my mom? And you can't possibly know how I've lived." I snapped.

"Do you want to tell me about your mom?" She asked quietly, "You don't have to, but I'd like to hear about her."

I smiled, despite my anger, remembering the two times I had met my mother. "I've only met her twice," I told Esme, "But those two days were probably the single best days of my life." I paused, remembering the story my mom had told me on our second visit.

"My mom had me when she was young. Younger then me, I think. Fourteen, maybe just fifteen. Anyway, she came from a good home, she went to a private school and had lots of money. Her parents loved her very much, but she made some mistakes. When she found out she was pregnant she knew she couldn't tell her parents, but she also knew she couldn't get rid of it. Her boyfriend helped her hide it, and with the help of baggie sweaters and ponchos her parents were none the wiser.

"He stayed with her all through the pregnancy. My mom had me, and she thought she was going to keep me. She started telling her boyfriend about the life she had planned, and thats when he told her that he wasn't planning on helping her with me, and unless she gave me up, he was going to break up with her.

"My mom thought she was in love. She was young, and panicked, and thats how I ended up being left in front of a hospital.

"Some how, ten years later she found me. I got to meet my mom for the very first time. That meeting was more of a reunion, we didn't talk about anything serious. It was the second meeting, last year, where she told me all of this. It was also then that she told me she hoped I wouldn't make the same mistakes as her. She told me to be strong and be smart."

Tears were running down my cheeks, "I haven't been strong or smart." I whispered.

"Thats not true Bella. You are strong and smart. Everyone makes bad choices, but thats what makes you stronger." Esme came and sat next to me, wrapping her arms around me. This time I didn't push her away.

"Thanks Esme," I smiled through the tears.

"Should we tell Carlisle?" Esme asked.

"Yeah. I guess I may as well get it over with." We stood up, and walked down stairs to where Carlisle's office was, a small room nestled between the living room and dining room.

"Carlisle?" Esme knocked on the open door. Her arm was around my shoulder as we walked into his office. The floor was a dark wood, and the walls were lined with book shelves. A large desk sat in the middle of the room.

"Esme, Bella," Carlisle stood up, and looked at my tear stained face. "Whats wrong?" he asked, his voice thick with concern.

Esme shut the door, and I started to cry again. I never used to cry, and now I'm like one big ball of tears.

"Carlisle," I cried, "I..." I looked up at Esme for help.

"I took Bella to the doctor today, and it turns out she is not sick with the flue. Carlisle, Bella is pregnant." Esme spoke very calmly.

"Oh...wow..." Was all he said.

"I am so, so sorry!" I told him, "Please don't be mad."

"How far along are you Bella?" His doctor instincts seemed to be kicking in.

"Almost seven weeks." I told him.

"In the foster home, then." He said, almost relieved. At least this didn't happen on their watch.

"Yeah." I nodded. "Things got...out of hand. People were drinking..."

Carlisle nodded, and the room became uncomfortably quiet.

"I'm keeping it." I stated, breaking the silence. Carlisle's head shot up, and he looked at me like I was crazy. Esme sighed.

"Now Bella," Esme said quietly. "We have to discuss this."

"There isn't anything to fucking 'discuss'. I already told you that." I snapped.

"Bella, are you sure?" Carlisle asked.

"Yes I'm sure. You don't know how _sure _I am!" I snapped, ducking out from under Esme's arm.

Carlisle looked at Esme, his eyes wide and questioning.

Esme turned and looked at Carlisle, "We are going to family counseling tomorrow evening." She said it as though that were the answer to his silent question.

"That sounds like a good idea." Carlisle said. "Do the kids know yet?"

"Not yet. We wanted to tell you first." Esme explained, "I guess we should tell them though. Bella, do you want to tell them during dinner? We are eating in fifteen minutes."

"Whatever." I shrugged, still a little annoyed.

Esme and Carlisle exchanged a quick glance, then turned towards the door. They headed towards the kitchen, and I headed into the living room, where Emmett and Edward were still playing video games.

"What was all that yelling?" Emmett asked, not looking away from the screen.

"Nothing." I huffed. "You'll find out soon enough."

Emmett didn't say anything back, and the only noise in the room was the sound of shooting and screaming coming from the flat screen TV.

"Dinner!" Esme called from the kitchen. Emmett and Edward paused the game and walked into the kitchen. I followed behind them sullenly.

We were all sitting around the dining room table, Esme and Carlisle on either end, Jasper, Emmett and Edward on one side, and me, Alice and Rosalie on the other.

Once everyones plates were full, Esme cleared her throat. Everyone stopped talking and looked up at her.

"We have something to tell you guys, and we are hoping you will always be very mature about it. What we are going to tell you will not change the fact that we are family. We still love and support each other, understood?"

Everyone, including me, nodded. "Okay," Esme began, "We found out today that Bella is pregnant."

Everyone reacted differently. Emmett's mouth dropped open, and he looked utterly shocked. Edward looked sympathetic, Jasper looked surprised, Alice looked absolutely dumbfounded. Her eyes were wide, and she looked confused. Rosalie dropped her fork, flipped her hair, then turned to look at me. "Who woulda thunk it," She sneered. "Sweet, innocent _Bella _got knocked up."

"Rosalie!" Esme snapped, "That was completely uncalled for, apologize!"

"Sorry Bella." She said with no degree of sincerity.

"Wow Bells..." Emmett said awkwardly, "How are you feeling?"

"Fine." I muttered. I stared down at my plate of food, wishing I could fall through the floor.

"So I'm going to be an auntie?" Alice asked, "Will the baby sleep in Bella and my room?"

"Yeah Alice, I guess you will be," Carlisle smiled. "And I'm not sure where the baby will go..." His voice trailed off.

Rosalie looked up, a devilish grin on her face, "Are you keeping it?"

"I don't know." "Yes." Carlisle and I said at the same time.

"Yes, I am." I said, this time my voice was clear and uninterrupted.

Everyone looked at Carlisle and Esme, waiting for the final verdict. "We have some things we need to work out." Esme finally said.

We ate the rest of the meal in silence, everyone alone with their thoughts. I cleaned the kitchen with no word of an argument, then went right to bed.

_The setting was an old rundown house in a suburban neighborhood. There were only two people home, me, and my foster dad Jason...._

"_Bella?" Jason shouted down the hall. _

_Nine year old me was cowering the corner of a small room. The room was empty except a small bed and an old dresser. _

"_BELLA?" He shouted again. I put my head in my arms, and tried to quiet my sobs. I heard Jason get closer to my room, then the door burst open. He walked over to were I was sitting, and grabbed my arm._

_He pulled me up with an excessive amount of force. "Oww!" I cried, then immediately regretted it. He slapped me across the face, and told me to shut up. I tried to stop crying but I couldn't. _

"_No wonder your last home didn't want you, you lousy piece of shit!" He spat, throwing my to the ground. I slid across the hardwood, my head cracking against the wall. _

_I lead out a yelp, and Jason kicked me in the ribs. I tried not to scream as he repeatedly kicked me. I thought I was going to die, in fact, I almost _hoped _I would die. Jason had an evil smile on his face as he pulled his foot back, the swung it forward right into my face..._

"Ahh!" I sat up, screaming. _It was just a dream, _I told my self, not real. I didn't realize I was crying until Alice sat up, and still half asleep, said: "Bella, why are you crying."

"It was just a bad dream..." I said more to my self then to her. I lay back down, and tried to fall asleep. All the horrible memories started resurfacing again, and sleep seemed impossible.

Sleep must have eventually come, because when I opened my eyes again the room was draped with sunlight.

I didn't feel sick this morning, so I just lay flat on my back.

"Girls!" Esme said, knocking on our door, "Get up! Bella you have to go to school today, and don't forget out appointment tonight!"

This was going to be a long day....

**PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE REVIEW!!! Your reviews motivate me to write faster =)**

**Thanks, Love Ali¢e **


	5. What are you thinking?

**I am SO SO SO sorry I haven't updated in so long! Life has been so beyond crazy, but now I am all done school, so I will be updating A LOT more. I hope you enjoy this chapter. I do not any of the characters. **

**--- **

**Seven Weeks into the pregnancy. **

I rolled out of bed, grateful that I didn't feel sick. I pulled my self towards the bathroom, and stared at myself in the mirror. My face was very pale, and I looked sleep deprived. My eyes had no shine to them, they were just a dull brown. Even my hair was lifeless, lying limply against my back.

I sighed, and got to work. I coated my face in foundation, then got to work on my eyes. By the time I was done I no longer looked like the living dead. My hair was hopeless though, so I finally just pulled it up into a ponytail, and then went to get dressed.

Alice got up and went to the bathroom, so I took advantage of the five minutes I had to myself. I lifted my shirt, examining my stomach. I could have sworn I saw a bump, although I knew it was most likely just my imagination. Seven weeks is much to early to start showing, even I know that.

I pulled on a tight t shirt and a pair of skinny jeans. Who knows how much longer I can wear this stuff for before it gets too small, so I may as well wear it as often as I can before I get fat.

I grabbed my bag, and walked down to the kitchen.

"Good morning Bella." Esme smiled as I walked into the room. Everyone else except for Alice was already sitting down at the breakfast table. I sat down in my regular seat, but didn't take any food.

"Eat, Bella." Esme pushed the plate of pancakes towards me.

"I'm really not hungry." I lied. It wasn't that I wasn't hungry, as much as I was afraid of getting sick at school.

Esme sighed, but didn't push the issue.

"Good morning!" Alice sang, as she danced towards the table. Once she was sitting, and her plate was filled, Carlisle cleared his throat.

"Last night we dumped some very heavy news onto you guys, and didn't give you a real chance to respond. Well, now we want to give you that chance, and see how everyone is feeling about this. Emmett? How about you start us off."

Emmett, big loud outspoken Emmett, just stared at his plate, not saying anything.

"You can be honest." I spoke up. "I'd prefer you were. Here, I'll start, get things warmed up." Everyone turned to look at me. "I am disgusted with myself. I have been very stupid, very _very _stupid. For a while now I have been like that. I _always _said yes. Except that time. Thats why I am so disgusted. It got the point where boys thought they didn't even have to ask any more, They knew I was easy, and just assumed I would say yes.

"Kyle didn't even ask. He just grabbed me. I was too much of a coward to do anything though. To tell anyone. And now, his _child _is inside of me. Despite that though, I love this child with everything I have."

"You were raped?" Rosalie said, her eyes wide.

I nodded, wiping a tear away from the corner of my eye.

"I'm so sorry Bella." Jasper said.

"It doesn't change anything, it could have happened with any of the other guys. Anyway, I want you to be honest about how you feel. I can take it. Emmett?"

"Okay, well first of all, I am really sorry that this happened to you. When you first told us though, I was shocked. When you came to live with us, I thought you were this sweet little innocent kid. You were so good, I never thought you were the type of girl to... you know. I have to say Bells, I kinda look at you differently now. You suddenly seem a lot older to me. Not so innocent."

"Thanks Emmett. Edward?"

"I was shocked as well. I looked at you as my baby sister, and now... well like Emmett said, I don't see you the same way. It's sad, I thought you were this totally different girl. I'm sorry that guy did that to you though, he had no right. No matter how many guys you had been with before, he had no right to just assume."

Jasper spoke next. "I don't look at you different, Bella. Your are a grown up, I knew that even before you told us. I know you are only a year older then me, but sometimes it seems like its more. You had to grow up a lot faster then most kids, a lot of kids in the foster care system do. I think it's sad that you are going to be a mom so soon, you had a lot of potential. But I still look at you as Bella, my big sister who is older then her years."

"That means a lot Jasper. And I think I still do have potential. I don't think this will ruin my life. Its a good thing, trust me."

"I hope so Bella, I really truly do." Jasper forced a smile.

"Can I go next?" Alice chirped.

"Of course," I smiled at her.

"I can't believe it Bella. I really can't. I don't see you as the kind of girl to sleep with a bunch of guys. I looked up to you Bella, I respected you. I think its going to be harder to respect you though now, knowing you don't respect yourself. Despite that though, I still love you. You are my big sister, and if anyone can get through this, its you. Plus, I'm really excited for the baby. I can't wait to go shopping for it. I hope you keep it."

"I am keeping it, don't worry. You are going to make such a great aunt Alice. The baby is so lucky to have you."

Alice's big green eyes filled with tears. "I love you Bella."

"I love you too Alice." I leaned over and gave my tiny sister a big hug. "Don't be like I was, kay?" I whispered in her ear.

"I won't." She promised back.

I let go of Alice, and looked towards my last sibling. Rosalie sat in her chair as if she owned the world. She was wearing a dark pink t shirt dress that hung off her shoulders perfectly, and a pair of black leggings. She flipped her wavy blonde hair over her shoulder as if none of this fazed her.

"Rosalie?" I asked.

She slowly turned to look at me, her blue eyes searing a hole through my forehead. "I'm not surprised. I always knew you were too much of a goody-goody. I could tell you were hiding something. You thought you could put your sluttish ways behind you though, right? Little did you know it would come back and bite you in the ass. I'm sorry that you were raped, but did you honestly think you would never get pregnant. I bet you were with a lot of guys, right? This was bound to happen."

Everyone stared at Rosalie. I'm pretty sure that everyone had been thinking exactly what she said. I deserved this. I brought it upon my self.

"Thank you for telling us how you really feel. I know this is a lot to put on you guys, but I know you will all be here to support Bella. This is what family is for, right?" Carlisle looked around at everyone.

"Right." Everyone mumbled.

"Okay, now lets all get ready for our day--"

"No." I interrupted. "Everyone said how they felt. What about you guys?"

Carlisle and Esme looked at each other, "Erm... we can discuss that tonight..." Esme said.

"Now." I demanded. "Everyone else did."

"Bella," Carlisle tired to reason, but I was having none of that, and he could tell.

He sighed, then looked at me. "How can a parent react when they are told that their child is pregnant. We still look at you as a child your self."

"So what was you initial reaction?" Edward pressed.

"I guess, we were surprised, and a little disappointed. Not because you are pregnant, because no one can blame you for what Kyle did, but I guess we are disappointed that you had no respect for yourself. Thirteen is awfully young to be sexually active. I really thought you were the type of girl who cared about her self more then that." Esme looked sad, and when she spoke again, her voice was quiet.

"I understand what you were thinking though Bella, I get where you were coming from. I can't imagine growing up with no one to say I love you. I don't approve of what you did, but I guess I can't really blame you. And besides, there's no point in living in the past. What happened, happened, and its pointless to scold you for things you did before you came here. We have a new issue to face now, and thats what we need to put our energy into. Now get ready for school. We'll talk more tonight."

"Thanks Esme." I got up, and kissed her on the cheek. "See you later."

I grabbed my backpack and followed Emmett and Edward out to the car. I climbed in the back seat like I normally did. My stomach felt a little funny, but I assumed it was just because I was nervous. About halfway to school though it started to feel like more then just nerves.

"Emmett!" I cried, "Pull over! Now!" Emmett quickly steered into the shoulder, and stopped the car. I threw the door open, and flew towards the ditch. I leaned over and began throwing up.

When I stood back up, Emmett and Edward were both behind me. "Are you okay, Bells? Should I take you back home?" Emmett looked really freaked out.

"No, This is part of it. Its gonna happen everyday for a while, I think. Do you have any water?"

Edward handed me a bottle of water out of his bag, and I downed the whole things in two gulps. "Thanks."

I climbed back into the car, and pressed my forehead against the cool glass. Once we got to the school Emmett and Edward wished me luck and then we parted ways. I went towards my locker and they headed towards theirs.

As I expected, Jessica and Angela were waiting by my locker. "Oh my God Bells!" Jess gasped, "You look like hell. Are you okay?"

"Yeah. No. I don't know. I'm fine." I didn't really know what to say.

The bell rang, and everyone started heading towards their first period class. "I gotta go, but I'll see you in bio." Jess headed towards her homeroom, but Angela still lingered around me.

"Are you sure your okay?" She looked genuinely worried.

"Yeah. It's a long story. I'll be okay though." As much as I wanted to tell her, I knew I wasn't ready. I wasn't ready for her and Jess to start looking at me differently. I wanted a few more weeks of being Bella the reckless teenager before I had to officially become Bella the teenage mom to be. I grabbed my textbook, and walked with Angela towards our English class.

We sat together in the back of the class like we always do, giggling and passing notes. Everything felt back to normal, at least for a while. All of a sudden though I felt that horribly familiar feeling in my stomach. I threw down my pencil and leapt up from my chair, my hand over my mouth.

"Bella!" Angela gasped. I ignored her, and ran for the door.

"Bella!" My teacher called after me as I darted out into the hallway.

I didn't listen to any of them though. I just cried as I ran into the bathroom.

**Please review!! If you guys review, I will post the next chapter much quicker. I PROMISE!!!!! Thank you!! **

**Love Alice **


	6. Telling someone

**Here's another chapter =) This was quicker then the last, but I'm going to work on making them EVEN faster. The next two chapters take place over one day, but after the next chapter I'm going to start making each chapter one week. Does that make sense? Anyway, PLEASE review!!! **

***I do not own twilight***

I looked at my face in the mirror. My make up was running and I looked like death. Where was the tough Bella, the girl who knew how to carry herself. The old Bella hardly ever cried. This Bella cried daily.

Angela came into the bathroom, and stood next to me. "What happened? You don't look very good Bella, I think you should go home."

I just shook my head. So I go home today, what about every other day for the next few months? I can't just skip out on school for nine months.

"Do you want me to get a teacher?" Angela asked.

I shrugged. I don't know what I want. Angela disappeared, and returned a few minutes later with Miss Anderson, our english teacher.

Miss Anderson is really young, and a first year teacher. She is really nice, and really easy to talk to. When I first came to the school a month ago she went really easy on me, unlike all my other teachers. And whenever I needed someone to talk to, I always chose her.

"Whats up Bella?" She asked, her voice gentle.

I looked past her, at Angela, who was standing by the door. Miss Anderson turned to see what I was looking at. "Angela, can you go back to the class and tell everyone to keep reading Act four of the play. I'll be back soon."

"Okay." Angela disappeared, and once she was gone Miss Anderson turned to look at me.

"Come with me." She led me towards the main office, and into an empty office. She shut the door, and sat down. I did the same. "So whats up?"

"Nothing." I lied.

"Bella...I can tell that _something _is bothering you."

I took a deep breath. "I'm not sick."

"No?" She sounded surprised, but I couldn't tell if she was faking it or not.

"No."

"It seems like you are."

"I'm not." The room was silent for a minute as she thought about this. I placed my hand on my stomach, and looked down. "I'm not throwing up cause I'm sick." I said again. She looked at me, then at my hand, then at me, then back at my stomach.

"Oh Bella." She sighed.

"Please don't tell anyone." I whispered.

"Do your parents know?" She asked.

"Yes, my whole family does. I've been to the doctor and everything. I just don't want everyone here to know. Not yet at least. I don't want them to think of me differently."

"Are you going to be okay?" Miss Anderson asked.

"Yeah, I will. I'm tough."

"I know you are, but some things are hard for even the toughest people to deal with. You know can always talk to me, right?"

"Yeah, thanks." I smiled, and we stood up.

I followed her back to class, and I smiled as I sat down. I felt a lot better now that one person here knew.

Angela didn't ask me anything, and I didn't offer any information. We just did our work until the bell rang, then I headed to bio. Jess was waiting eagerly for me at our lab table.

"Oh my God!" She squealed, as I sat down, "Guess who just asked me to the snowflake dance?" She didn't even give me a chance to respond before she replied, "Mike Newton!" She dove into a story about how Mike had baked her cookies in the shape of snowflakes and how romantic it was. Once the teacher came in, she began scribbling her story in her notebook.

The rest of the morning went on like this, Jessica telling me every thing that Mike did and said this past week. It was nice, having her as a distraction. It made the day go by a lot quicker, and before I knew it, the bell was ringing for the end of the day.

I headed out to the parking lot to wait for Emmett and Edward.

They came a few minutes later, and we silently got into the car. "How was your day, Bells?" Emmett asked, looking at me in the rear view mirror.

"Miss Anderson knows." I said bluntly. I expected there to be an awkward silence, but Edward didn't miss a beat.

"I have her for English. She's really nice, a great person to tell that to."

"Yeah, I guess so." I shrugged. Edward was right though, I am glad I told her, she's a good person to tell that kinda stuff to, cause she's not judging. Shes young, she understands whats going on in our heads.

"So, any plans for tonight?" Emmett asked, changing the subject.

"Family counseling."

"Oh." He said quietly, "That should be...interesting."

"Yeah, it'll be a real party." My voice was thick with sarcasm.

"Bella..." Emmett sighed.

"What? Do you want to go to therapy with them, a listen to them try and convince you to get rid of your baby?"

"That makes no sense Bells." Edward chuckled.

"I don't fucking care. They don't give a shit about me. All they care about is their perfect little family, and me having a baby is ruining that for me them." A tear was slipping out the corner of my eye.

"You don't actually believe that, do you? Bella, all they want is whats best for you. They look at you as child, someone who is too young to be a mom. They want you to have everything in life, and having a baby now, and raising it...it might not be the best idea right now."

"Not you too Emmett!" I cried. "No one understands!"

"Bella--" Edward turned around in his seat to look at me.

"Just stop talking. Please." I pressed my head against the cool glass. No one said anything the rest of the way home. The second we pulled into the driveway I jumped out of the car and ran into the house.

"Hi Bella," Esme looked up from the book she was reading, "How was your day."

"It was fine." I snapped.

"Really?" She sounded skeptical.

"Yeah. Really." I snapped again, as I headed up the stairs.

I ran up into my room, and slammed the door. None of them understood how I felt. They had lived with Carlisle and Esme their whole lives. None of them ever had to live without a family. No one understands just how much this baby means to me.

"Bella?" There was a knock on my door. "Can I come in?" Esme stuck her head into my room. I turned away from her. "Is anything wrong?"

"Nope." I said, popping the 'p'.

"Its going to be okay. We are going to get through this together."

"Sure." I said, picking up a book of the nightstand.

"Ok, well we have to leave here at four thirty." She said, standing up.

"Whatever." I muttered, flipping trough the book.

Esme nodded her head, then left the room. I put down the book, then logged onto my computer.

I opened a google page, and typed in teenage pregnancy. I opened the first few pages, and read about it. Most of it was just technical stuff, and there were a few facts and statistics. None of it made me feel any better though, or made me feel any less alone in this.

I turned off my computer and started to work on some history homework. It helped take my mind off things for a while, but all I could think about was my baby.

At some point Alice came in, and sat down at her desk. She didn't talk to me at all, and I was grateful for the silence.

"Bella!" Esme called, "Time to go."

I shut my textbook and stood up.

"Good luck." Alice smiled up at me.

"Thanks Alice." I tried to smile, but it ended up more like a grimace.

I trudged down the stairs, where Esme was waiting. "We're going to meet Carlisle there." She told me, even though I didn't ask.

"Great."

"Bella." Esme's voice got real serious, "Please don't make a big fuss out of this. I expect you to be respectful to the doctor."

"Sure." I muttered.

"Bella!" She scolded.

"Okay, sorry. I'll be respectful." I followed her out the car. She didn't try to make conversation, which was good. I really don't feel like talking to her.

We pulled up in front of a large office building and I followed Esme into the main lobby. Carlisle was already sitting in one of the plastic chair, and he stood up as soon as he saw us.

"Ready?" He asked, looking at me. I ignored him, pretending there was something of great interest on my nail.

Esme looked at me, then nodded. Carlisle led us towards the elevator which we rode up to the fifth floor. He and Esme talked in hushed whispers as they led me down a white on white hallway.

"Here we are." Carlisle opened door which read 'Family Services.' and led us towards the reception desk. "We are here for a meeting with Dr. Harris." He told the blonde receptionist.

"Name?" She asked, popping her gum.

"Carlisle, Esme and Isabella Cullen."

"She'll be right out." The girl chewed.

"Thank you very much." Esme smiled as we sat down.

I crossed my arms over my chest, and turned away from Carlisle and Esme.

"Why are you so angry Bella?" Esme whispered, "You seemed fine with this yesterday."

"Yeah, well, I'm not fine with it. I'm not fine with people I have known for a _month _trying to take away my child. I am not even close to fine with that."

"Bella, we are not taking away your child, we just want you to make sure you know what your getting yourself into."

"Bullshit." I said louder then I had meant to. People turned to look at us, and Esme blushed.

"Quiet." She ordered.

"You be quite." I know it was a childish response, but I couldn't think of anything better. Thankfully Dr Harris came to get us before Esme could scold me again.

"Hi," A small lady with wavy brown hair and big green eyes, who looked to be no older then twenty five or twenty six, smiled at us. "I'm Dr Harris, but you can call me Laura."

"Its so nice to meet you Laura." Esme shook her hand, smiling widely. "I'm Esme, this is my husband Carlisle, and this," She said, turning to look at me, "Is our daughter Bella."

"Nice to meet you all." Laura smiled as she led us into a small, but well furnished office. She pointed to black leather couch and told us to sit. She sat across from us in a matching black chair.

"Now, why are you here?" Laura asked.

**Hope you liked this chapter. PLEASEEEEEEEEE review! Reviews make me smile and write faster! Lots of Love, Alice :)**


	7. Reliving the Past

**Hows that for speed? Two chapters in one night! I won't usually be THAT fast, but I'm going away for a week, so I wanted to update tonight before I left. I MIGHT be able to post one more chapter tomorrow, but I can't promise. Anyway, after this chapter time will start moving faster. My goal is to cover the entire nine months, and then the following few weeks, and at this rate that'll take forever. I'm going to stop talking now, but dont forget to review! **

***I don't own Twilight* **

**Week 7 of the Pregnancy **

"Now, why are you here?" Laura asked.

Carlisle and Esme both looked at me. "They want to take my baby." I stated, rather bluntly.

"No we don't! Bella!" Esme jumped up. She turned to look at Laura, "We don't want to take her baby, we're not like that."

"Your _baby?_" Laura looked confused.

"I'm pregnant." I told her, putting my hand on my still flat stomach. "Seven weeks."

"And how old are you?"

"Fifteen. I'm in the ninth grade."

Laura nodded her head, writing something down in her notebook. "How long have you been living with Carlisle and Esme?"

"Five weeks."

"Your adjusting well?"

"Yeah. Its better then a foster home."

"And things are going well for you guys?" Laura looked at Carlisle and Esme.

"Yes, everything was going very good. Bella is such a sweetie. I don't know where this attitude came from, she was all for meeting with you yesterday, and then all of a sudden today...I don't know."

"Bella?" Laura turned to look at me.

"I don't know." I folded my hands in my lap. "It's too much. I want this baby more then anything, I don't even care if its _his _baby. I want it. But _they,_" I nodded towards Carlisle and Esme, "Don't think I'm ready."

"Who's 'him'?" Laura asked, writing quickly.

I was silent. Carlisle and Esme were silent. I didn't want to talk about Kyle. He was not the reason I'm here.

"Bella?" Laura stopped writing and looked up at me. "Who's 'he'?"

"Bella," Esme looked at me. "Tell her."

"Its over. Like you said this morning. I don't want to talk about it."

"Talk about what?" Laura prodded.

"Bella." Carlisle and Esme said at the same time, "I know its difficult, but--"

"But nothing. I don't want to be here. Can we please go?"

"No." Esme said.

"Please," I begged.

"How about you and I talk alone Bella. Esme, Carlisle, do you mind waiting in the waiting room?"

"Of course not." They stood up and left the room.

The room was silent and I could tell Laura was waiting for me to say something. I wasn't going to though, Kyle isn't the reason we were here.

"What happened Bella? What did he do to you?"

"Nothing. He did nothing to me." I picked at my fingernail.

"Bella, I know thats a lie. I can't help you if you don't tell me what happened."

"I don't want your help. Nothing happened. Nobody did anything." I tried to sound convincing but the tears that were flowing down my cheek probably gave me away.

"If nothing happened you wouldn't be crying. I want to help you Bella. I'm on your side, I don't blame you, I won't be angry at you."

"I don't know what to say. I don't know where to start."

"It always helps to start at the beginning."

"Its my fault. All my fault." I began to cry harder, and Laura came and sat next to me.

"Tell me about it."

"You wouldn't get it. You don't know what its like to be moved from foster home to foster home. Nobody really cares about you. I was living with Karen and James. I was thirteen, just finishing the seventh grade. They had another foster kid living with them, Miranda, who was sixteen. She and I talked a lot, and when I told her how I felt about no one wanting me or loving me, she told me about boys. She said it was really easy to get a guy to say that he loves. You only had to do one thing.

"Miranda left that August. I felt so...alone. I know that happens, people you love have to leave, but this was the first time I had actually gotten close to one of my foster siblings. I guess I was just looking for someone to fill her spot. I met this guy at the park, Justin. We hung out and stuff, and ended up going to the same school. I thought I loved him, so we...you know. The next month I was moved, and the same thing happened. I was in four homes that year, and I ended up having sex a lot.

"But then I moved to Arizona. I met a guy that I really liked. I guess he told his friends that I was easy. I went to a party and this guy Kyle, he..."

I couldn't keep going. I was crying too hard. I never told anyone about this before.

"Its ok Bella, you're doing really well."

"He...he..." I took a deep breath. "I spend most of the night with my friend Amanda. Everyone was drinking, but I had a drivers ed class in the morning so I didn't want to be hungover. Anyway, I went to the bathroom, and on my way out I ran into this guy from my english class....

"_Hi," He smiled at me, his perfect teeth practically shining. "Bella, right?" _

"_Yeah." I smiled back at him. "Your Kyle, we have english together." _

"_Of course, you sit in the front near Amanda and Amy. How could I forget such a beautiful girl like you." _

"_Thanks." I said, as I felt my face turning beet red. _

"_Can I get you a drink?" He asked. He was very polite, and seemed super sweet. _

"_No, I'm good." I kept blushing. I tried to make it stop but I couldn't._

"_You're really cute when your embarrassed." He laughed. _

"_Thanks, I think." I giggled. "Well, I have to go, but it was nice seeing you." _

"_Don't go yet. How about you come with me, I can show you my room." He smiled widely, and grabbed my hand. _

_I tried to pull away but his grip was too strong. "No thanks." _

"_No really, come on." He tugged me down the hall and into a dark blue bedroom with football posters all over the wall. _

"_Kyle!" I cried, "Let go of me!" I tried to scream but the music was so loud I doubt anyone could hear me. "Kyle!"_

"_Shhh!" He placed his hand gently over my mouth, then led me to the bed. I tried to fight him off, but he was close to double my size. _

"_Please..." I begged, but it was no use. He pushed me back onto the bed, and as he got closer to me I could smell the alcohol on him. _

_I kicked and screamed as he unbuttoned my shirt and lifted up my skirt. _

"_Kyle...please..." I cried. He didn't listen though, and all I could do was lay there and cry. No one could hear my screams, and Kyle didn't seem to care about me. To him I was just some girl who has sex with anyone, whether she wants to or not. _

I sat on the couch crying as Laura rubbed my back. "You are doing a good job Bella. You're safe now, no one is going to hurt you now, You're safe."

I took a deep breath and tried to stop crying. "I'm sorry." I sniffed.

"Don't apologize Bella, you've been through a lot. Your life has been a lot tougher then the lives of most girls your age."

"I didn't have to be, things could have been better."

"How?" She asked, looked me in the eyes.

"I don't know. Maybe if I had been a more appealing baby, or a quieter toddler. I don't know. There must be a reason why nobody wanted me." I felt a new wave of tears about to hit. I've never opened up like this before.

"Thats not true Bella." Laura told me.

"Except it is true. I lived at MacEather Hall, a place for babies and young children to stay while they wait to be adopted. If they aren't adopted by the time they are six, they are sent to Western Home for Children, and then placed in a foster home. There must be a reason why I was adopted out of MacEather when I was a baby, right? No one wanted me."

"The right family just didn't come along. It takes time to find the perfect family." I knew she was probably telling the truth, but it didn't make me feel any better.

"Bella," Laura lowered her voice, "When you were in your foster homes, did anyone ever hurt you?"

I stiffened. Talking about Kyle was one thing, but I was not ready to relive all of the other horrible events.

"I thought we were here about my baby." I looked at her, my eyes begging her to change the subject.

"Bella--"

"I don't want to talk about it. I think I've relived enough emotional trauma for today. I want to talk about the baby."

"That fair enough Bella, but can we talk about it next time?"

"Laura, the baby."

"Let me get your parents." She stood up and left the room. While she was gone I quickly fixed my eyes, hoping I could disguise the fact that I just spent the last half an hour crying.

Laura returned with Carlisle and Esme behind her. They sat on either side of me and Laura returned to her chair.

"Ok, so the baby." Laura began. "Have you seen a doctor Bella?"

"Yes I have. Shes the one who made me come here today."

"And did she tell you about your options?" Laura was flipping trough her notebook again.

"Can you please stop saying that. I don't have any fucking options, I am keeping this baby. Keeping it. Thats my options. Deal with it, kay?"

The room was silent, everyone just shifted in their seats. Laura looked at Carlisle and Esme, "Is that a yes?"

"The doctor gave us a binder full of information about various options, but as you can see Bella isn't very open to any of her other options."

"Bella, why do you want to keep the baby?" Laura asked.

"Its my only family. I've never had real family before. I just want to feel like I have someone to love me unconditionally."

"That makes sense Bella, I understand where you are coming from, and that is a very good reason. I can also understand where your parents are coming from though."

"Well I don't care. Its not their choice." I crossed my arms, and looked down at the floor.

"Bella, do you mind if I talk to your parents alone for a few minutes?"

"Why?" I was nervous to let her be alone with them, I didn't want them to brainwash her into making me the baby away.

"I just need to talk to them about some stuff, I won't be very long, I promise."

"Fine." I stood up and left her office. I pressed my ear up against the door hoping to hear what they were saying, but it was no use, I couldn't hear anything, so I just sat down and began bitting my nails.

**Esme POV**

Once Bella left I moved closer to Carlisle on the couch. "You have to understand where we are coming from," I begged. "I don't think shes ready for a baby. She can barely take care of her self, let alone an infant."

"I get it, I understand, but you also have to think about where she is coming from. Has she ever talked to you about her past before?"

"No" Carlisle said at the same time I said yes.

"She has to me, but not in detail. Not really about her past so much as how she felt that need to be loved."

"Bella has been through some horrible things. No fifteen year old should have to deal with half the things Bella has been through. I am confident that you are providing her with a great family. I'm sure she is loved and well cared for in your home, but she has only been with you for five weeks. She has been alone her whole life up until now, and you have to understand that this baby is what Bella feels is her only chance at a read family."

"How can we show her thats not true. We can be her real family." A tear rolled down my cheek, "We love her. We thought she was adjusting so well, she seemed to be doing so good."

"She is doing very well, but from what I can gather finding out that she is pregnant is making her relive her past. She probably tried to block all those horrible events from her mind, but now its as though she has a constant reminder of what happened to her."

"Wouldn't that make her want to get rid of the baby though?" Carlisle asked.

"No, Bella has convinced herself that this baby is the only real family she will ever have. That might change though, once she becomes more comfortable with you guys, and feels more like she is a part of your family she may change her mind. In four or five months Bella might feel like you guys are her real family, and that need to keep her baby might not be so strong. All I can say for now is don't force adoption on her. Let her do whatever she wants. Try to make her feel like she is truly part of your family. Things might change."

"You think so?" I asked, wiping away my tear. "I just want whats best for her, and for the baby."

"I know you do, and yes, I do think it could happen. Don't count on it though, it really depends how much progress we make. Bella has a lot of stuff she needs to work out. This baby might just be her way of coping. For now though just keep up with the doctors visits, I would suggest Bella come see me once a week alone, and in a few months I'll meet with all three of you and see where things are."

I stood up, "Thank you so much Laura, I really appreciate you meeting with us."

"No problem, it was nice meeting you guys. Things are going to work out, don't worry. It'll be a tough road, but it will make you all stronger people."

"Thank you." Carlisle smiled as he shook her hand. "See you next week."

"See you then." Laura smiled as Carlisle and I walked into the waiting room. Bella was sitting on one of the chairs with her head in her hands.

I placed my hand on her shoulder. "Time to go sweetheart."

She looked up at me, and it broke my heart to see her face. Her eyes were red and puffy and her make up was running all down her cheeks. She choked back a sob as she stood up, and I wrapped my arms around her.

"I thought this was all in the past. I just want to forget." She cried into my shoulder.

"Shhh," I cooed, "You'll be ok. I'll be here for you the whole time. I love you Bella."

I put my arm around her shoulder as we walked to the car. I could hear her whimpering the whole way home, and it pained me to see her so upset.

**Bella POV**

As soon as we got home I went right up to my room. It was only six, but I felt like going to bed. I got into the shower and turned the water really hot. All I wanted was to forget the past fifteen years, to just pretend it never happened, but this baby wasn't going to let me do that. I still loved it though, it was still my family.

I washed my hair and face and then just stood there, letting the hot water wash over me. "I love you baby." I placed my hand on stomach. "I always will. I promise you will have the life I never had. I promise that I will always make sure you are smiling. No one is ever going to take you away from me baby, I swear."

**Please Please PLEASE review! **

**Lots of Love,**

**Alice :)**


	8. Week 8

**Sorry it took me so long to update, I thought my hotel would have internet, but alas I was sadly mistaken. This is a pretty jam packed chapter. PLEASE TELL ME IF IT IS TOO LONG. It hard to fit a weeks events into roughly 5 word pages. Are long chapters ok, or do people prefer shorted ones? Leave a review and let me know =) Enjoy week 8!! **

***me no own, you no sue***

**Week 8-December 15th**

"Bella!" Alice poked me, "Bella wake up! Its snowing!" Alice flew to the window and opened it as wide as it could go.

"Alice," I moaned, "Close the window, I'm cold!"

"But Bella!" She squealed, "Its snowing!"

I was just about to yell at Alice when I felt the familiar feeling in my stomach. I rolled out of bed and ran to the bathroom. My morning sickness was still as bad as ever, but I figured out that if all I eat is crackers and water in the morning, I won't usually get sick at school.

"Bella?" Esme knocked on the bathroom door, "Are you alright?"

"Yeah, I'm fine." I stood up and waked over to the sink. "I'll be out in a sec." Ever since we got back from our meeting with Laura last week Esme hasn't mentioned the baby at all, thankfully, except to tell me I have a doctors appointment on January 7th.

Esme was sitting on my bed, Alice hopping up and down next to her, "Bella!" Alice gushed, "School is cancelled!"

"Really?" I had never had a snow day before. "Omigosh yay!" I dove back into my bed.

"And so is your appointment with Laura." Esme told me. Hearing that made me even happier. "So we are going to go Thursday instead."

A huge smile spread across my face, "No can do, Esme. I'm going dress shopping and getting my nails done with Jessica and Angela. The snowflake dance is Friday."

"I didn't know you were going. Who are you going with?" Esme asked.

"Myself. I don't know. I'm going though, so tell Laura we'll have to meet another time. Or never."

"I'll tell her you will come in on Saturday afternoon." Esme stood up, "Okay?"

"Sure, whatever." I wasn't really paying attention to Esme anymore, I was more concerned with something else. Who was I going to go the the dance with? I couldn't actually go alone, that would look pathetic. I wasn't really that good of friends with any boys in my grade though.

"I'm going to go have breakfast," Alice sang as she danced out of the room. "Are you coming?"

"Not yet." I pulled my covers over my face. I hadn't had a boyfriend in over nine weeks. Thats the longest I've gone in a long time. And I probably won't have another boyfriend for another year, or more. Who wants to date a fifteen year old mom?

Before I could get too deep into my depression I heard the doorbell ring. "Bella!" Emmett called, "Its Jessica!"

Jessica? What was she doing here? "Send her up!" I shouted.

I heard Jessica run up the stairs then she burst into my room, "Bella," She huffed, "Since we have no school today we have to look online for dress ideas!"

"You came all the way here to shop online?"

"My internet is down, plus its more fun to do with someone else." She sat down at my desk and turned on my computer. Usually I would be annoyed at her for just barging in, but today I was grateful for the distraction.

She wasted no time pulling up the first website. "Ohh, look at this one!" She said, pointing at a pink frilly thing.

"Cute!" I forced on a smile and went to sit next to her.

We looked on almost every website, and Jess had a list of stores she liked. "This one would look so good on you Bella!" She gushed, pointing at a short blue strapless dress.

"I'll look at it in a second, I have to pee." I stood up and headed towards the bathroom,

"Can I look through your bio notes for the test tomorrow?" She called.

"Sure, look through anything you like."

When I came back from the washroom Jessica was sitting on my bed cross legged, with a thick blue binder in her lap. "Which subject is that?" I asked going to sit next to her, "I don't think any of my binders are that full yet..." I trailed off as I realized exactly what she was reading.

"Bella?"

I didn't know what to say.

"What is this? Are you pregnant?" Jessica looked up at me, dumbfounded. "Bella?"

I opened my mouth, but nothing came out. "I..I..Its not how it looks...."

"Bella! Why didn't you tell me?" She looked hurt, "Don't you trust me?"

"Yeah, but..."

"But what Bella? Look, I'm going to go." She threw my binder on the floor then stomped out of my room.

"Jessica!" I shouted, "Jess come back! I'm sorry!" My voice got louder and before I knew it I was in hysterics.

"Fuck!" I shouted, slamming my door. "Shit shit shit!" I stormed around my room throwing things off of shelves and dressers. "Oh my fucking god!" I cried. I went over my desk and picked up a picture of me Jessica and Angela taken a few weeks ago. We looked so happy, so carefree. "Ahhh!" I cried, as I chucked the picture at the wall. It crashed to the floor, the glass shattering. The impact had chipped the paint on the wall, but I didn't give a damn.

Carlisle and Esme ran up to my room. "Bella!" Esme rushed to my side, "What on earth happened?" She looked around my now destroyed bedroom.

"The world fucking ended Esme." I sobbed.

"What?" Carlisle looked confused.

I took a minute to calm down, then I looked at them seriously. "This world is going to hell." I spoke slowly, enunciating every word, "And we are all going down with it."

****

At school the next day everyone was staring at me. Of course Jessica would tell _everyone, _I should have known that. Jessica and her mom are known for their roles as town gossips. Everywhere I went people stared at my stomach.

"Bella!" Edward found me in the hall, "Everyone is talking about you, whats going on?"

"I don't know." A tear slid down my cheek. "Jessica told everyone."

"I am so sorry Bella." Edward hugged me, and I cried into his shoulder.

"Will you take me home?" I cried. I just wanted to leave. I didn't want people to find out this way.

"Of course." He wrapped his arm around my shoulder and led me out towards the car. I climbed into the front seat next to him as he drove me home.

"Will you stay with me?" I asked. Edward looked at me, and nodded.

We walked inside together and he led me up to my room. "Let me just go talk to mom, I'll be right back."

I nodded, and lay down on my bed. A few minutes later Edward returned and lay down next to me. "Shhh, Bella," He whispered, "It'll be okay."

I wanted to believe him, I truly did, but I just couldn't. How could everything possibly be okay?

I didn't go to school the next day, Esme took pity on me and let me stay home.

"Bella," There was a knock on my door.

"Come in." I said dryly.

Esme, Alice and Rosalie came in and sat on Alice's bed. "We want to take you dress shopping." Alice smiled.

"I'm not going to the dance. I don't have a date." I cried.

"You don't need a date," Esme told me, but I knew that was a lie. I'm not going to the winter dance dateless.

"Yes I do." I sniffed.

"Well how about we go anyway, you might just be surprised." Esme reached for my hand and I reluctantly grabbed it.

"Fine."

The four of us drove up to Port Angeles and walked into the most high end dress store. I tried on almost all of the dresses, and finally I found the perfect one.

"Bella," Alice said in awe, "Its amazing."

I twirled around and admired the dress. It was baby blue and the back fell a little bit longer the the front. The straps were thin and went around my neck. The dress went a little bit below my knees. (**Pic on my profile) **It was absolutely stunning.

"This is the one." I smiled, and for the first time in a long time I felt truly happy.

On Friday I was fully prepared to stay home and hide away from the world, but Esme forced me out of bed and told me I had to go to school.

School today was no better then on Wednesday, in fact, I think it was worse. Now not only were people staring, but they were saying stuff too.

I walked into English and as I passed by Lauren's desk she let out a loud cough that sounded a lot like 'slut.' She wasn't the only one, pretty much everyone I passed called me a slut or a whore.

At lunch I sat down at an empty table alone in the corner. Angela walked into the cafetiria, looked at me, then at Jessica, probably trying to decide who to sit with. In the end she gave me an apologetic smile then when to sit with Jessica. Figures.

"Bel-la." Some one sang from behind me.

"Lauren."

"Is it true? Are you knocked up?" She stood above me, hands on her hips.

"Go away." I muttered.

"So it is true." She smiled widely.

"So are you being sent back to the orphanage?"

"No, I'm staying here, with the Cullen's." I still didn't look up from my untouched luch tray.

"They still want you? Wow, I would never keep a pregnant kid." She smirked. "So are you going to the dance tonight?"

"Yes I am." I looked up from my food and stared Lauren right in the eyes.

"Really?" She sounded shocked. "Who would want to take _you?" _She spat. All of a sudden a huge grin spread across her face, "Don't tell me that your going alone? Because that would just be pathetic."

I didn't know what to say.

"Of course shes not going alone, I'm taking her." I spun around to see Edward standing behind me.

"Really?" A smile took over my face.

"_Really?" _Lauren sounded disgusted.

"Really." He said. "Come on Bella, come sit with me." He offered me his hand and I graciously took it.

Lauren was frozen, her mouth hanging open. We walked away from her hand in hand. "Thanks for saving me there Edward. You don't actually have to take me to the dance though."

"I know I don't have to," He grinned, "I want to."

***

I sat in the bathroom while Alice and Rosalie curled my hair and did my makeup. No one had ever put this much effort into me before, and I have to say it felt really good.

"Bella," Alice gushed once they were finished, "you look absolutely stunning!"

"Thanks." I blushed. Rosalie ran to grab my dress and she returned her and Alice helped me slip it on, then they put the finishing touches on my appearance.

"Perfect." They said at the same time.

I smiled then slipped on my white shoes. I carefully walked downstairs where Edward was waiting for me.

"You look amazing." He said, as he looked me up and down.

"Thanks." I blushed again.

"Shall we?" He extended his arm, and I looped mine through it. "We shall." I giggled.

The whole way to the school neither of us said anything. _Is he taking me out of pity, or does he actually like me? I definitely think I like him. I don't think I ever dated a boy as sweet and caring as Edward before. I shouldn't get my hopes up though, I mean why would he want to date a girl like me? _

My head was still full of questions when we reached the school, but I pushed them all away, determined to just enjoy this night, and not think about anything but this moment.

Edward and I walked arm in arm into the gym, definitely earning some stares. I didn't care though, I was with Edward and thats all that mattered.

He didn't let go of me the whole night. Neither of us could properly dance, so we just held onto each other and swayed to the slow songs and shook our hips to the fast ones.

The night passed much to quickly for my liking and before I knew it the DJ was announcing the last song. It was a slow song, thank the lord, and I pressed my self against Edward. We swayed as one to the beautiful song, my arms wrapped around his neck and his arms around my waist. He wasn't like the boys at my old school, trying to grab my ass. No, Edward was different, he gently rubbed my back as we moved together.

The song ended too quickly, and the lights came on. Edward grabbed my hand and led me out to the car. "I had a great time." He told me as he opened the passenger door for me.

"Me too." I smiled, "Thank you for taking me. You have no idea how much it means to me."

"It was my pleasure." He started the car and pulled out of the parking lot.

"Edward?" My voice was cautious. "Can we pull in somewhere, I think we need to talk."

"Of course." He drove in the opposite direction of our house down a dark highway. After what felt like forever he pulled off the main road and onto a dirt road. He turned off the car and looked at me.

"Why did you invite me tonight?" I asked softly.

"What?" He looked taken aback.

"Is it because you feel sorry for me?" This was a hard question to ask, because I was absolutely terrified that the answer would be yes.

"What?! No! Bella of course not, I would never play with you like that. I care about you. I have since I met you. But you never needed me before. I didn't think it would have been good for me to come up to you on your second day here and say Bella, I really like you. You had been through so much, I didn't want to ambush you. I wanted to wait till the right time...and today just seemed like the right time." He spoke softly, and his words slowed down towards the end.

"Are you telling me the truth? I can't be hurt again. Not now."

"I honestly like you. I did not ask you to the dance because you are pregnant. I asked you in spite of that, I really like you." I wasn't sure if that was necessarily a compliment, but it made me smile ear to ear.

"I really like you too." I whispered. We looked each other in the eyes, and I knew what he was seeing. My brown eyes showed venerability, and I know he knows that. It would be so easy for some one to take advantage of me right now, but for some reason I know Edward wouldn't do that. His green eyes portrayed honesty and love, and I know that the eyes never lie.

Before I knew what was happening we were leaning in towards each other. Our lips met, and for the first time in my life I felt that this kiss actually meant something. I felt like Edward actually meant something.

"I think I love you." I whispered as we broke apart.

"Bella, I know I love you."

**What did you think? I'm not great at writing fluff, but I thought I would give it a try at the end. PLEASE REVIEW!!!!!!! Thanks, Love Alice =] **

**And PS, a pic of Bella's dress is on my profile. **


	9. Week 9

**Heey! So heres week 9! Enjoyy!!! Oh yeah, and sorry for all the typos in the last chapter,, I was mega tired when I wrote it. I went back and mixed them all now =] **

**Disclaimer: My passport says Meryl Parker, NAAT Stephenie Meyer. Too Bad =[ **

**Week 9-Dec 22**

I was dreading this day. I was doing everything I could to postpone this day for as long as possible. But it finally came. Tuesday. My next meeting with Laura.

I had managed to get out of Saturday's meeting by faking the flu, which is pretty easy to do with my morning sickness. But I knew that sooner or later I would have to go, and I guess that sooner is better then later.

I walked down to the kitchen to grab some breakfast, and saw Edward sitting at the island. We had decided not to tell anyone about _us _yet. We knew that Carlisle and Esme would most likely not approve. "Mornin." I came up behind him and kissed him on the cheek.

"Good morning my lovely." I spun around and kissed me on the lips. "Sleep well?"

"Mhmm." I smiled, "I dreamt about you."

"Oh really, and what may I ask happened in the dream?"

"Thats for me to know and for you to find out." I leaned in towards him when I heard a high pitched voice behind me.

"Whats for you to know and him to find out?" Alice asked, helping herself to a muffin.

I moved away from Edward quickly, then spun around. "Nothing." I said quickly. "Absolutely nothing."

Alice looked at me skeptically. "I'm not stupid. Something is going on here..."

"She was just telling me about a dream she had. Its nothing/" Edward assured her.

"Tell me what happened!" She insisted, "_Something _is going on here, and I don't like being left out. Why won't you tell me?"

"Tell her what?" Esme asked as she walked into the room. Fuck, I mean can we not catch a break here?

"Bella said that she had a dream about Edwar-" Alice started to say, but Edward cut her off.

"Alice!" He shouted, "Shut up please!"

"But I want to know!" She whined.

"Edward, don't shout. Alice they don't have to tell you if they don't want to, although _I _would like to hear about this dream."

"Not happening mom." Edward said, "Sorry."

Esme looked confused, but luckily dropped the subject. "Bella we are leaving in twenty minutes. Alice I'm dropping you off at the mall to meet Mackenzie, right?"

"Yes!" She squealed, and like that the dream was forgotten. "I have to go get ready!" She bounced out of the room, and Esme followed her.

"Now about that dream..." I turned and looked back at Edward.

He laughed, "I don't think that this is a very secure place to talk Bells."

"Yeah, I suppose you're right." I frowned. "It was a pretty amazing dream though."

"I bet it was. Follow me." He led me to Carlisle's empty office and shut the door behind us.

He leaned in and our lips met. Kissing Edward was like nothing else. I had been wanting to do so much more with him, but I didn't want to mess things up. We have something amazing and I would hate to ruin in.

"I have to go now," I said as I broke away from him.

"Now?" He asked, leaning towards me again. I pouted, and nodded. "I'll be thinking of you." He promised. "Me too." I smiled.

Edward went to watch TV and I went to the kitchen to actually get some food before we left. Esme stuck her head into the room and told me we had to go. I grabbed and bagel and followed her into the garage.

In the car I stared out the window, smiling to my self as I thought of Edward. It had only been five days, but I know that we have something special.

"What are you all smiley about?" Esme asked.

"Nothing." I immediately stopped smiling.

"What was Alice talking about this morning?"

"Nothing." I said very fast.

"It wasn't nothing!" Alice chirped from the back seat. "I'm thirteen Bella, I'm not stupid. You and Edward were talking about _something _important! Why won't you tell me?"

"It was nothing Alice." I folded my arms in front of me.

"I didn't sound like nothing." Alice protested.

I twisted around in my seat. "Please be quiet Alice! Nothing happened!"

"You awfully defensive Bella," Esme laughed, "I'm very curious what this dream was about."

"It was about nothing." I huffed.

Esme pursed her lips, but didn't push the subject. She dropped me off in front of Laura's office and told me she would be back in an hour.

"How are you Bella?" Laura asked.

"I'm great." I couldn't hide my smile.

"Well thats good. Did you have a good week?"

"Great week. We had our school dance."

"Did you go with anyone?"

"Sort of..." I didn't want to tell her about Edward. I knew she wouldn't understand. "I went with a, uh, friend."

"Thats fun." She said, and I nodded in agreement.

"Are you looking forward to Christmas?" We want on with this small talk for fifteen minutes before things got serious. "So Bella, are you still feeling the same way about the baby?"

I placed my hand on my still flat stomach. "Yes." We talked for a while more about the baby, and then she brought up the subject I had been dreading.

"When we left off two weeks ago I was asking you about any abuse in your pervious homes. I know you don't want to talk about, but its an important part of the healing process."

"Laura, I have been in more homes then I can remember. Some of them were amazing, and some...not so much. I don't see why I have to talk about it. Whenever I think about it always end up dreaming about it." My voice was full of silent pleading, begging her not to open these doors again.

"So you have been hit?" I nodded, "Bella, did anyone in the foster homes, besides Kyle, ever rape you?" I nodded again, biting my tung to keep from crying.

"Please," I begged, "Please don't make me talk about it!"

"Why did you never tell anyone that you were being abused?" She asked.

"I deserved it." I whispered. I looked at the door, and considered making a run for it. "I wasn't a very good kid. Everything that happened was my fault."

"Now Bella," Laura leaned forward and looked at me intensely, "That is a lie. Its what people tell kids to keep them quiet. It makes the abuser feel less guilty about what they are doing if they convince themselves, and their victims, that its the victims fault, that they deserved it."

"I want to believe you." I cried. "I do."

"Bella, the people who hurt you are horrible horrible people. They are the bad ones, not you."

We spent the rest of the hour talking about what happened in my past, and by the time I climbed into Esme's car I felt a little better. I was beginning to understand that I didn't deserve to be beaten. Laura said it would take a lot of work, but I would heal. I would learn to forgive and forget, and I would see that I was a hell of a lot better then those bastards who hit me.

"Good session?" Esme asked.

"Yes." I replied, "We are making progress. I'm still keeping the baby though."

Esme sighed but didn't say anything else.

***

"BELLA!" Alice screeched. "BELLA! ITS CHRISTMAS MORNING!"

I quickly jumped out of bed and followed Alice down to the living room. I know fifteen is kind of old to be getting super excited over christmas, but I'd never had a christmas like this before. The huge pine tree sat in the middle of the room, covered in lights and decorations, and piled under the tree were mounds of presents. Esme had gotten up early to make christmas breakfast, and the house smelled of warm cinnamon buns.

"Mommommom!" Alice flew into the kitchen, "Can we please open our presents?"

"Alice," Esme laughed, "Wait till everyone else is up, then we can open presents." Alice bolted up the stairs, and returned thirty seconds later followed by the rest of my sleepy eyed family.

"They're up."

"Alice!" Esme clucked, but I could see her smile fighting to spread. "Ok," She gave in, "I guess we can start."

We all gathered around the huge tree and took turns opening our gifts. I got a bunch of maternity clothes, some make up, an iPod dock, money, a winter jacket and some books, movies and DVD's.

"Thank you so much!" I went around and gave everyone a hug, thanking them over and over again for the wonderful gifts.

We sat down around the large dining room table and filled our plates high with food. "So Bells," Emmett said with a mouth full of food, "When can you find out the baby's gender?"

"I'm not sure, I have a doctors appointment in a few weeks, so I'll ask."

"What do you think it will be?" Rosalie asked.

"Not sure. I haven't really gotten to know it that well yet. It doesn't move or anything yet. I'm thinking maybe a girl, cause every time I eat it makes me throw up, and I don't know many boys who do that." I laughed.

"What do you want it to be?" Jasper asked.

"Mmm, I'm not sure. I kind of want girl, someone to dress up and stuff. Boys are lots of fun too though."

"What names do you like?" Alice chirped.

"Guys," Esme spoke up, "I don't think we should be picking out baby names quite yet..." I wanted to yell at her, but bit my tung. I'll talk to her after lunch.

The topic quickly changed to what everyone had planned for the rest of the break. I was still fuming though. I could pick out baby names if I wanted to.

After breakfast everyone cleaned up then went their own ways. I went upstairs to Esme's room.

"Esme?" I knocked on the door.

"Come in!" She called.

I opened the door and saw her lying on her bed reading a book. "Why can't I pick baby names?" I asked, cutting right to the chase.

Esme sighed then shut her book, "Look, Bella, I just don't want you getting too attached to the baby, just in case you decide to go with adoption."

Thats when I really blew up, "I'm not fucking giving my baby away! Please stop trying to force me! Its not your fucking business, its mine. If you don't want me to keep the baby thats fine, but I am. Its my choice!"

"Bella, I didn't mean to upset you. If you want to keep the baby I fully support you, but I also will support you if you want to look into adoption. You don't have to commit, all I'm asking of you is to just look into it."

"Fine!" I screamed, "Fine! I'll 'look into it'! Just leave me the fuck alone about it though, please!" Tears were rolling down my cheeks.

Esme climbed off the bed and wrapped her arms around me. Even though I was angry at her, I held her close. "Thank you for everything you do, Esme. I love you."

"I love you too Bella." She kissed the top of my head.

*****

This was the first year in a long time that I didn't have plans for new years. Jasper was going to a friends house, Edward was going to a sophomore party, Emmett was going to some Junior party and Rosalie best friend's older brother was a senior, so Rose and her friend were going to a senior party (She had told Esme that she was just going to her friends house, conveniently leaving out the party part of it) Even Carlisle and Esme were going to a party that the hospital was throwing.

So it was just Alice and I. Edward invited me to come with him, but I wanted to stay with Alice. We watched movies together, ordered pizza, talked about boys and painted nails. We thought about baby names and I helped Alice set up a Facebook account. At midnight I let her have some champagne, and I had just had seven-up.

"I had a lot of fun with you tonight." Alice told me as we were sitting together watching Shes the Man. "I'm glad I could spend new years with you."

"Me too Alice." I wrapped my arms around her and gave her a big hug.

I heard the front door open, and then checked the time. It was only twelve fifteen, who was home this early.

"Hello?" I called out.

"Its just me." Rosalie called out, and it sounded like she was crying.

"Why are you home so early? Are you alright?" I asked her.

"I'm fine, just not feeling well. Going to bed. Night." I heard her door slam, then turned back to the movie with Alice.

****

"Bella?" I heard someone hiss.

"What?" I moaned, rolling over. My digital clock read 3:37am.

"Bella, its Rosalie, I need to talk to you."

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**Love Alice **


	10. Week 10

***I don't own any of these characters***

**Week 10-Jan 1**

"Bella?" I heard someone hiss.

"What?" I moaned, rolling over. My digital clock read 3:37am.

"Bella, its Rosalie, I need to talk to you."

I sat up and was about to turn on my lamp when she batted my hand away. "I don't want to wake up Alice. Can we go to my room?"

"Sure." I rubbed the sleep out of my eyes then followed Rosalie to her bedroom. I sat down on her bed and looked around the room.

Rosalie's walls were violet, and all of her furniture was clean white. She had a large white canopy bed with a violet duvet. She had clothes thrown all around, and her dresser was covered in makeup.

"What is it Rosalie?" I mumbled, "What on earth could be so important that you had to wake me up at three thirty in the morning?"

She came and sat next to me, and for the first time I noticed her distraught appearance. Her blonde hair was dirty and knotted. Her left cheek was bright pink and her eyes were puffy. She was covered in dirt and scratches and bruises and her clothes were ripped.

"I don't know what to do." She whispered, looking down at her bloody hands.

"Rose, what happened to you? You look like fucking hell."

"I feel like it too Bella." She wiped a tear off her cheek. "Can you keep a secret?"

"Yes..." I said, "Rosalie, what is going on?"

She looked up at me, her big blue eyes filled with tears. "I don't know how to say it." She cried. I had never seen Rosalie so upset, usually she carried herself very well, but right now she was clearly falling apart.

"Just...say it." I told her.

"I think I was..." She couldn't finish her sentence, she was crying too hard. I knew what she meant though. It was obvious. She looked just like I did that night. An emotional train wreck.

"Oh God, Rosalie," I wrapped my arms around her, and she cried into my shoulder. "I am so, _so _sorry sweetheart."

"Don't tell mom." She cried. "Don't tell anyone."

"Rose, you have to tell someone. You need to get tested, you could have an STD or something. Oh God, Rosalie, you could be pregnant."

"I'm not, I'm not." She sobbed.

"How can you be sure?" I asked her.

"He had a condom on." She whispered. "Bella, I don't know what to do. I feel like shit. I just want to lay down and die."

"You can't do that Rose. Things seem pretty grim right now, but it won't last long. Things will get better."

"You can't be sure!" She wailed.

"Rose, I have been in your shoes before. I know _exactly _how you feel. But Rose, you need to take a pregnancy test. You can still get pregnant even he is wearing a condom."

A look of shear panic crossed her face. "No, no..." She kept repeating. "I'm not. I'm sure I'm not."

"Rosalie, you need to tell Esme." I moved closer to her and began rubbing her back. "I'll help you."

"No!" She cried, "I'll take the stupid test, but please, Bella, you can't tell mom. I swear, if you tell _anyone _I'll kill my self. Please!"

"Fine. I won't tell, but I at least deserve to know _why _I'm keeping this secret."

"She would be so disappointed in me Bella. My whole life mom has always told me to be safe, and to be careful about who I go where with. She told me that people will lie to me just to try and get me to go off with them, but I always thought that what she said didn't apply to me, I thought those things just happened in movies. When I got into middle school she always warned me about parties and boys and stuff, and she always, _always _said that I should be honest with her, no matter what. I can't tell her about this though, I was so stupid, she would never understand, she would never forgive me." Rosalie was crying so hard I had to listen very carefully just to understand her.

"Will you tell me what happened, Rosie. I won't think anything less of you."

"Well Annabelle and I rode to the party with her brother Zack, and then when we got there we really quickly realized that coming to the party was a mistake because none of the people there wanted anything to do with us, so Annabelle and I went to sit in the backyard. We weren't really sure what to do with ourselves. We each had a beer, but it tasted pretty gross, so Annabelle said she was going to go get us some cokes. While she was gone this boy came and sat next to me. He told me I was the prettiest girl at the party, and asked what a beautiful girl like me was doing sitting alone. I know its really shallow Bella, but he made me feel really good about my self."

"I get it Rose. I fell for that one more then once." I patted her on the back, then told her to keep going,

"We talked, and he seemed like such a nice guy. I don't know what came over me, I thought I was smarter then this. He started playing with my hair, telling me over and over again how nice I looked. When I said that the party was getting too loud and suggested going for a drive around the block all I could think about was the fact that a senior boy liked _me! _He wanted to talk to me alone! I was so excited Bella, I was just picturing myself telling all the girls at school that I kissed a senior boy. I wasn't thinking. I got in the car. He drove somewhere, then suggested we just talk. I kept thinking he was going to kiss me. Then...he pushed me into the back seat and climbed on top of me. I begged him to stop Bella, a really did. I tried to get him off of me, but it was useless, he kept hitting me. Then he threw me out of the car into the mud, and drove off. I was so stupid." She buried her face in my shoulder and cried.

"You weren't stupid. Boys do that, they make you forget all your common sense."

"You can't tell mom. She's warned me about this my whole life."

"I won't, I won't. Rosalie, can you tell me what his name was?"

She looked at me, horror stricken, "I don't even know." She wailed. "I never asked and he never told me."

"Thats okay Rosie, its ok. Now lets get you cleaned up." I helped her peel off her clothes and we put them in a trash bag then threw them out. I helped her clean her hair and get all of the dirt off of her. She couldn't stop sobbing the whole time.

After her shower she said she still felt dirty. I knew that she didn't mean physically dirty, and I felt really bad for her. I knew from experience that no matter how many times she showered that feeling wouldn't completely go away.

She put on her favorite pajamas and asked me to stay with her for the night. I crawled into bed with her and fell asleep to her quiet sobs.

I woke up at the crack of dawn to find Rosalie sitting in the corner of her room, crying.

"Rosalie, whats the matter baby? Why are you on the floor?" I rolled out of bed and went to sit next to her.

"I couldn't sleep Bella, not a single wink. I'm a mess, I can't let mom see me!"

"Rosalie, its ok. Don't worry about Esme, but try to get some sleep, kay?" I pulled her up and guided her over to her bed. I wanted to stay with her until she fell asleep but my stomach turned, sending me running towards the bathroom.

Once I was done I climbed into the shower and turned the water super warm. I couldn't stop thinking about Rosalie. I knew this was going to be a lot harder for her to get over then it was for me, because this was her first sexual experience, and she didn't even know the guy who raped her.

I'm not sure exactly how I'm supposed to keep this from Carlisle and Esme, and I know that keeping it to myself is the wrong thing to do, but there's no way I can break Rosalie's trust. I'm the only she will talk to, and I don't want her to lose trust in me.

I towel dried my hair and pulled on sweats and a t shirt then walked into Rosalie's room. She was lying on her bed whimpering softly. I climbed in next to her and began humming softly, trying to lull her to sleep. I rubbed her back and sang a soothing tune until her whimpering stopped and her breathing evened out.

"Sweet dreams." I kissed her cheek then climbed out of the bed. Looking at Rosalie in her bed sleeping, her eyes red and her face bruised and puffy made her seem a lot younger then fourteen. I had never seen this side of Rosalie, and as I left the room I prayed it would disappear soon and that I would never have to see it again.

***

New years day was unusually quiet. Emmett and Edward stayed in bed for most of the day, obviously hungover. Alice went skating with some of her friends, Carlisle had to go into the hospital and Esme was sitting in front of a roaring fire reading some book.

I sat on Rosalie's bed with her while she slept, humming to her whenever her dreams turned dark.

I told Esme that Rosalie was exhausted, and wasn't up to eating dinner, so it was just the two of us sitting around the big dining room table.

"Did you have a good time at the party?" I asked, trying to make small talk.

"Yes, I had a lot fun. And you and Alice had a nice evening."

"Mhmm, very." I smiled.

"And Rosalie must have had a lot of fun if shes still sleeping." Esme smiled.

"Yeah, she must of had a blast." I tried my very best to keep any hint of sarcasm out of my voice.

"Thanks for dinner, Esme." I stood up and cleared away the dishes.

I quickly checked in on Rose who was thankfully still sleeping then went into my room. I opened my facebook and updated my status to **Bella had quite the eventful new years. **I was looking at the pictures from Jessica's party when Edward came and snuck up behind me.

"Edward!" I said, surprised. "You scared me."

"I'm sorry," He smiled his amazing crooked smile, "I have something for you though." He sat down on my bed and told me to come sit next to him. I shut my computer and did as I was told.

He pulled a small wrapped box out of his pocket and handed it to me. "It's a late christmas present." He explained.

"Edward, you didn't have to do that." I looked up at him.

"I know, but I wanted to. Open it." I peeled the wrap off of the box and nearly had a heart attack when I saw that the box contained a necklace with a pink diamond heart on it.

"Edward!" I gasped, "Its beautiful! Can you put it on me?"

He took the necklace and hooked it around my neck. Once it was on I leapt off the bed and went to admire it in the the mirror. "Its so gorgeous Edward!" I gushed. "Thank you so much!"

"I just want you to know how much you mean to me Bells." He came up behind me and wrapped his arms around me.

"Will you still love me this much when I'm fat?" I wondered out loud.

"I'll love you no matter what." He spun me around and kissed me more passionately then ever before. My fingers ran though his copper hair as our mouths met. We fell back onto my bed and lay there together, just holding one another.

I could have stayed with Edward forever, just holding him and kissing him, but a knock on my door made me jump up. Edward scrambled off of my bed and sat down in my des chair. "Come in!" I called, and Esme walked into the room.

"Bella, Rosalie is asking for you. She won't let anyone else into her room."

"Okay, I'll go see what she needs." I got off of the bed and slid past Esme into the hall, eager to get out of the room before Esme got suspicious.

"Rose?" I asked, knocking on her door. "Its Bella."

"Come in." I heard her reply quietly. I opened her door and walked over to her bed.

"How are you feeling?" I asked her.

"Not good. Look at my face Bella!" She wailed. Her left eye was was slightly bruised, and her cheek was pink. She has a dark bruise on the right side of her jaw, and a cut on her upper lip.

"Its nothing that can't be fixed." I told her. I stood up and walked over to her dresser which was covered in makeup. I grabbed her cover up and a sponge then walked back over to her bed. I gently dabbed the make up over the bruises, then used some blush to pinken her other cheek too. "There," I said, taking a step back, "Good as new."

She stood up and looked at her self in the mirror, "I still look disgusting." She moaned.

"You don't. Now I think you should come downstairs. You can't hide in here forever."

"Wait Bella." She whispered. "I'm ready to take the test."

I knew instantly what she meant. "I don't have one, but I'll take you first thing tomorrow morning." She nodded, then followed me downstairs.

***

The next morning I helped Rosalie re apply her makeup, then we walked down to Chinook Pharmacy. She didn't say anything the whole way there, she just kept biting her fingernails and chewing her bottom lip.

"It'll be okay, Rose." I assured her as we grabbed the home kit and walked to the check out. The girl at the register shook her head slightly as she ran through our item, but I just ignored her. Once I started showing, people were going to be shaking their heads a lot more at me.

When we got home Rosalie took the box and went into the bathroom. I sat outside and waited for her to be done. This whole thing felt way to familiar, and I only hope that Rosalie will have a different outcome then me.

"Bella, its ready."

This is it, I thought as I stood up. I took a deep breath and walked into the bathroom. "On three, we'll look at it." I said, "One...two...three." She flipped the stick, and I felt like singing when I saw the result.

"Thank God." Rosalie breathed. I sighed with relief, thinking that maybe there was some tiny bit of good in the world.

She tossed the negative stick into the trash then we walked into her room.

"Just because I'm not pregnant doesn't make me feel any better about this." She told me as she sat down at her desk.

"I wouldn't expect it to." I replied. "It will however, make it easier for you to get past this."

She looked at my stomach, "I'm really sorry Bella."

"So am I Rose, but it'll be okay."

"Sure doesn't feel like it."

"I know, but time is the only medicine in this case. I think though, that if you talk to someone, it'll make it easier."

"Talk to someone?" She asked, confused.

"Yeah, someone like Laura."

"I don't think so Bella. I wouldn't know what to say." She moved onto her bed, "If its okay with you, I think I want to be alone right now." She told me, crawling under the covers.

"Alright." I said as I stood up and left the room, although it didn't really feel alright leaving Rose alone right now. For some reason I had this feeling in the put of my stomach that she wasn't going to handle this the right way. I shook the thought from my head though. Stress is bad for the baby, I reminded myself. So I took a deep breath and tired to push Rosalie out of my mind.

Be it the right thing or be it the wrong, I couldn't worry too much about her right now. I just have to trust that if she needs me she'll ask.

**Rosalie POV**

As I lay under the covers I began to think about a way for me to take control over my life again, and it was then, on January second, lying under my duvet, that I came up with my brilliant plan on to regain control of my self.

**This chapter wasn't really about Bella, but it helps to set things up for later in the story. PLEASE REVIEW! I had 500 hits for the last chapter, and only 5 reviews, so PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE review! I even made this chapter longer for you guys !! **

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	11. Week 11&12

**OMG I AM SO SORRY I HAVEN'T UPDATED IN SO LONG! I promise I will NEVER make you wait that long again!! I have just been soo busy lately, but things are getting more so back into routine, so I will be writing more often. Thanks to everyone who reviewed, I made this chapter long!!**

**Week 11-Jan 5 **

Today was the first day back at school, and to say I was less then thrilled would be an understatement. I rolled out of bed and crawled into the shower. Today was one of the days where my morning sickness wasn't as bad. I let the hot water pour over me until Alice started banging on the door.

I wrapped my towel around my head and opened my closet. The whether outside was raining and cold, so I pulled on a pair of jeans and a cashmere sweater. I dried my hair and applied my makeup then went down to the kitchen.

Rosalie was there, sitting at the bar doing the crossword from the newspaper.

"Morning." I smiled as I headed for the fridge.

"Mm." She mumbled, not looking up from the puzzle.

"How are you feeling?" I asked, pouring my self a glass of orange juice.

"I don't think I can go to school today." She whimpered. "I just won't be able to make it."

I went and sat next to her, "Rosalie, I know it's hard, but you need to move on. Trust me, if you got help it would be a lot easier, but you need to keep going with your life."

"I can't." I sniffed.

"Don't cry." I told her, "You're strong. You will be okay."

Rosalie nodded, then wiped her eyes. "You're right. I am strong. I'm taking control of my life." She said the last part under breath, more to her self than to me.

"Atta girl Rose." I patted her on the back then stood up. I grabbed a bagel and popped it in the toaster. "Are you hungry?" I asked over my shoulder.

"Nah, I ate before you came down." Rosalie said.

By the time my bagel was done everyone was in the kitchen. The few minutes before we have to leave is always chaotic. Everybody trying to make breakfast and lunch and pack their bags and be out the door in time.

"Have a good day." Esme kissed me on the cheek, then I followed Emmett and Edward out the car.

I walked into the school and immediately all eyes were on me. "She doesn't look preggers." I heard one girl whisper. "I bet she made the whole thing up for attention." Another girl said. Pfft. Yeah right. If I wanted attention there are so many easier ways then saying that I'm knocked up. So many more ways that don't involve everyone hating me.

I went straight for my locker, trying to ignore everyone. I tuned out the gossip as I grabbed my copy of Julius Caesar and walked into English. I still had ten minutes before class started, but no way was I gonna sit in the hall so everyone could stare at me.

I picked a desk at the back of the class and sat down. I ran my fingers over the heart on my necklace, thinking about lucky I am to have Edward.

"Bella!" I heard someone gasp. I looked up and saw Miss Anderson standing in the doorway, her hand over her heart. "You scared me!"

I hadn't really talked to Miss Anderson much since that day three weeks ago when I had gotten sick in class.

"The secrets out." I said nonchalantly. "I'm officially public enemy number one."

Miss Anderson put her stuff down on her desk then came and sat next to me. "I'm so sorry Bella."

"It's not your fault." I muttered. "So do all the teachers know now too?"

"Teachers hear gossip. We know more then what you guys think." She said, answering my question.

"Mm. Great."

"Things will get better." She told me. I know I said the same thing to Rosalie just a few hours ago, but now it seems so stupid. How will things possibly get better?

The rest of the morning was just as bad. People kept looking at me, and whispering and laughing at me. _Finally _the lunch bell rang and I got to see Edward. I speed walked to the Cafetiria and quickly spotted Edward. I sat down next to him and he gave me a big hug.

Lately my appetite has been big, so for lunch I had a burger, salad, fries and a milkshake. I scarfed down my food then spent the rest of the hour just sitting next to Edward, enjoying our time together.

Too soon lunch ended and I had to keep going with my day. By the time the final bell rang I was all but ready to quit school and get Esme to home school me. If things are this bad now, I can only imagine how bad they'll be once I get huge.

The only good thing that happened today was the walk Edward and I took at sunset. We walked through the path in the forest behind the house, and he kissed me, telling me to be strong.

The next three days passed similarly. School was hell, except that blissful hour at noon. No one except Emmett and Edward would talk to me. I ate like a pig. And so on and so forth.

Thursday I got a break, finally. I had a Doctor's appointment, and Esme had taken pity on me and gave me the whole day off. I made the most of the day, watching TV, catching up on homework and reveling in the fact that there was no one here to gossip and laugh at me.

The doctor's appointment was pretty standard. They told me everything looked good, and Esme booked me an ultrasound appointment for next week.

Saturday night everyone was out except for Edward, Rosalie and I. Esme and Carlisle were out for dinner. Emmett was at a party. Alice was at a sleepover. and Jasper was out of town for a baseball tournament. I had tried to convince Rosalie to make plans, but she was still not in the mood to be around people, not that I blame her in the least.

"Rosalie?" I knocked on her door. "Rose, I'm coming in." I opened her door, and saw a very sickly Rosalie lying on her bed. "My God Rose, are you alright?" I gasped, running to her side.

"No." She moaned. "I feel like fucking death. Bella, I can't do it. I don't know how you go around everyday like everything is alright."

"I don't Rosalie." I said, "I know that everything is not alright. Not in the least. But I'm not going to waste another second of my life on Kyle. I have more important things to worry about." I placed my hand on my stomach.

"I just can't do it." Rosalie sobbed. "I just want to die."

Rosalie's face was pale white, making her bruises even more prominent. She had to fight to keep her eyes open, and she looked as though at any second she would just croak.

"Rosalie. I'm telling Esme."

"No!" She begged. She was weak though, and couldn't put up much of a fight.

"Rosalie, I'm not blind. Something is going on here." I waved my hands towards her frail body.

"I'm just not feeling great. Let me sleep. Don't tell mom..." Her eyelids closed, and her breathing steadied.

"What are you doing to your self little girl?" I whispered, running my hands through her hair. As I looked at Rosalie lying there on the bed I knew the responsible thing would be to tell Esme. Maybe I wouldn't tell her about the rape, just about the fact that Rosalie looks near death.

Or maybe not. It would destroy Esme. To find out you have two very problemed children? It would be devastating. I sighed and walked out of Rosalie's room. I will help her, I just need to figure out how.

After we'd eaten Edward and I put on an old romance, and cuddled together on the couch.

"I love you." He kissed me. "I love you more." I kissed him back. Soon we were so into it we stopped paying attention to the movie.

When I kiss Edward I feel something I've never felt before. I think it's love. I truly and honestly love Edward, and I think, he loves me back.

The next day I slept in until noon, and woke up to an empty house. Its tradition to go out for pancakes every Sunday morning, but in the note Esme left on the counter, she said she didn't want to wake me. I checked Rose's room, and was surprised to find her bed empty. She must have gone with them.

Not long after I woke up I heard the garage door open. I heard shouting, and quickly recognized Esme and Rosalie's voice.

"I haven't said anything Rosalie, but I won't just sit back anymore. Something is wrong, and I don't understand why you aren't telling me!"

"I'm just not hungry!" She screamed.

"You haven't eaten in almost a week. You won't eat breakfast, you never pack a lunch, yet I don't know where you would get the money to buy lunch, and you don't eat dinner!" Everyone came into the house, and everyone except Rose and Esme were silent.

"I'm just not hungry." Rosalie insisted.

"You look like hell Rosalie! What are you doing to your self?"

"It's my life! I can do whatever I want."

"No you can not!" Esme yelled. "Rose, what are you hiding? I won't be angry. Are you pregnant?" She asked.

"No!" Rosalie shouted, "Nothing is wrong. Just. Leave. Me. Alone." She ran down the hall and up to her room, and we heard a door slam.

I backed out of the room, and went to find Rose. I walked into her room and sat on the edge of her bed. "She's just worried about you Rose."

"She would be so mad if she knew the truth." She sobbed from under her covers.

"You'd be surprised. She loves you, and is worried about you. Let her help."

I stood up and walked downstairs. I was just about to walk into the kitchen when I heard Esme and Carlisle's voiced.

"She's not eating Carlisle, nothing. I'm worried about her. Have you seen her?"

"We'll take her to the doctors. They'll help her. Eating disorders are common among teenage girls. She'll get help." I hears Carlisle assure Esme.

"I just have this feeling that there's more to it..." Esme sighed.

Oh, you have no idea, I thought.

**Week 12-January 13**

It was Wednesday, and Esme and I were sitting in the waiting room at the hospital. I was going to have my first ultra sound today. I was going to get to see my baby.

Ever since Sunday Rosalie has been even worse. Yeah, she'll eat now at least. Not much, but some. But she is defiantly worse. In the twelve days since New Years' Rosalie has done a complete 180. She used to be loud, and annoying and girly, and now she's dark and depressed, and I just want to help her. I know I need to tell Esme about the party, but I just can't bring my self to break that trust Rosalie has in me.

"Isabella?" A lady in a white lad coat leads us into the room. I lie on the table and pull up my shirt.

"So are you excited?" The tech asks.

"Very." I nod. "Will I get to find out the sex?"

"Not this time." She spreads some jelly on my stomach. "I'd say in about eight weeks."

She turns the screen towards me. "This is your baby." She moves the paddle thing around my stomach, all the while pointing to the screen. "Here's a little head, and a little foot and a little hand, and you can hear her heart beat."

I looked up at the little blob and felt like crying. That was my baby. Thats why I'm going through all of this, for that little thing. For my baby. I looked at Esme and saw that she was crying too. She grabbed my hand and we stared at the screen together.

The tech printed off a picture of my baby, and gave it to me. As soon as I got home I pinned it above my bed. That little face was my inspiration to get up and live my life.

At school Thursday I felt completely different. Sure people still gossiped about me, but now I know that I'm not alone. I have my baby inside of me. I saw it. It's real.

Friday night Esme dropped me off for my appointment with Laura, and for the first time I was actually looking forward to going. I had a lot of stuff I needed to talk to her about.

We spent the first part of the meeting talking about the ultra sound, and my baby. For the past couple of weeks no one has brought up adoption, and I was very grateful for that. Know that I've seen my baby I couldn't be more sure that I want to keep it.

The second part of the meeting was a lot more serious. I told her the one thing that had been on my mind for over two weeks. Rosalie.

"I don't know what to do." I confessed. "She won't eat or anything. I don't know how to help her. I never reacted this way when I was raped."

"Rosalie needs to tell your mother." Laura said, "This is so much bigger then her. She can't deal with it on her own. Even with your help it's still too big. Rosalie is on a dangerous path, and someone needs to intervene before things get to out of hand."

I nodded. What she was saying made sense. I have to tell Esme. I have to.

**Esme POV **

The house was unusually quiet. All of the kids, even Rosalie, were out. I had finally convinced Rosalie to get out of the house and meet up with some friends, so she and some girls from her school were going to dinner and a movie.

Carlisle and I were sitting on the couch enjoying the quiet. The past month has been stressful for both of us. Rosalie is going through some sort of crisis, but she won't let us help her, and Bella and the baby...everything seems to be piling up.

"I got a profile binder for Bella to look through. Just to see if any families stand out." I said.

"I thought she was against adoption." Carlisle said.

"I just think she needs to at least look into it."

"Why are you so keen on Bella giving the baby away?" Carlisle asked me. "I thought you loved kids."

"Of course I love kids," I told him, "But I also know how having a baby in high school can be tough."

"Oh?" He looked at me curiously, "And how may I ask do you know this?"

"My best friend in high school had her daughter when she was sixteen. It virtually ruined her life."

"Bella won't let that happen."

"Elise said she wouldn't let it happen either. It was inevitable."

"Have some faith Esme."

"I just want the best for Bella."

"Maybe this is the best."

I looked up at him, "Don't be stupid Carlisle, how can this possibly be the best thing for her?"

"I don't know. Just don't force anything on her."

I sighed. "Alright. Speaking of Bella, I need to go pick her up."

Bella was standing in front of the building when I got there, her hood over her head to keep her hair dry.

"How was the meeting?" I asked.

"Very good. But Esme, there is something that you and I need to talk about. I have to tell you something." She sounded very serious, and at the same time very sad.

My heart stopped, what else could possibly be wrong? "Are you alright?" I asked, worried.

"I'm fine. It's not about me. It's something about Rosalie." When she said that I felt like i was going to be sick, I knew something was up, and from Bella's tone I knew It was bad. "Esme, something really bad happened to her."

**Hope you liked it!!! PLEASE REVIEW!! If you review I will send you a sneak peak of the next chapter!! **

**Thanks, Love Alice ^.^**


	12. Week 13&14

**There we go, that was faster =] Hope you enjoy this chapter. **

**I forgot to do this for the last chapter, but... **

**Today I realized that I'm not Stephenie Meyer, and I don't own Twilight. FML. **

**Week 13-January 19**

"Esme, something really bad happened to her." I was just about to tell Esme what happened on New Year's Eve when her phone rang.

"Hello?" I watched as the look on her face turned from panic, to terror, to worry. "Oh my God!" She gasped. "We'll be there in ten."

"What is it?" I asked, panicked.

"Rosalie. She passed out at the restaurant, and she still hasn't regained consciousness. Is that what you were trying to tell me sweetheart, that Rosalie isn't eating?"

"Well not--"

She cut me off, "Because I've noticed that. It's so sad that teenage girls feel like they need to starve them selves just so they can feel pretty." Esme sighed. "We're going to get her help though. Thank you for trying to tell me Bella."

Esme sped towards the hospital, and I couldn't find my voice to tell her that she was wrong. That Rosalie not eating was not even close to the bad thing that happened. That the truth was so, _so_ much worse.

We got the hospital and Esme pulled me towards the children's wing. We got to the information desk, "Rosalie Cullen," Esme said, "I'm her mother." The nurse gave us Rosalie's room number and Esme practically sprinted there.

"Rosalie!" She cried running over to where Rose was lying limply in a hospital bed, her face ghostly white. One of Rose's friends was sitting in a chair next to the bed.

"I'm Annabelle." She smiled at me. "You're Bella, right?"

"Mhmm." I nodded. Annabelle. That's the girl who Rose went to the party with.

"I'm not sure what happened, Mrs Cullen." Annabelle turned to Esme. "Rosalie was just sitting there, eating her dry salad, when all of a sudden she said she felt really dizzy, then she just...fainted. She fell back and she wouldn't wake up. We didn't know what to do so we called 911."

"Thanks Annabelle. That was the right thing to do." Esme forced a smile. "And, on a side note, has Rosalie been acting differently lately?"

"Yes!" Annabelle's eyes got wide, "Ever since we got back from the break. She's not so happy anymore. She's a lot darker. She hardly ever talks, and she won't eat, and her face is all pale and stuff. I don't know what happened."

"I do." I said, and Esme turned to look at me. I was about to tell her when a doctor interrupted me. Its as if God doesn't want Esme to know.

"Excuse me, Mrs Cullen," A doctor walked into the room, "I'm Dr. Chase."

"Nice to meet you doctor. I'm Esme, and this is one of my daughter's, Bella."

I smiled. The Doctor turned to Annabelle. "Your mother is waiting in the waiting room for you." She told her.

"Thanks." Annabelle grabbed her purse and walked out of the room. "I hope Rosalie is alright." She called.

Dr Chase shut the door and asked us to sit down. "So Mrs Cullen, we've done a full examination of Rosalie, and there are a few things that stood out. Firstly, your daughter is severely malnourished. It looks like she hasn't eaten anything in weeks."

"I know. We discovered that Rosalie hasn't been eating a few days ago. We are in the process of starting her in treatment."

"Secondly, do you know if Rosalie was ever sexually abused?"

"No!" Esme said, "Of course not. Why would you even think that?"

"It appears as though Rosalie was attacked. She has scars and bruising, which leads me to believe that Rosalie was attacked, and recently too."

"You must be wrong!" Esme insisted.

"I'm so sorry Mrs Cullen." Dr Chase stood up, "Rosalie will make a full recovery though. Just as long as she gets the help that she needs, she will get better."

"Oh my God." Esme sobbed. "What did our family do to deserve this?"

"Esme I'm really sorry. I wanted to tell you sooner,"

"You knew?" She asked, looking up.

"I was trying to tell you, but I kept on getting interrupted." I told her.

"Oh Bella, what am I going to do? I don't understand why this is happening to our family. I don't understand why Rose didn't tell me."

"She thought you would be disappointed in her." I explained.

"Oh Rosalie," Esme sobbed, "Baby girl I am so sorry."

Soon after Dr Chase left, Carlisle came in. "Did you hear?" Esme sobbed.

Carlisle nodded grimly. "Who would do that to our little girl?" Esme cried even harder, burying her face in Carlisle's neck.

"We're going to get her the best help we possibly can." Carlisle assured her. I felt awkward just sitting there, watching them cry.

Luckily it was at that moment that Alice rushed into the room, followed by Emmett Jasper and Edward.

"Is she alright?" Edward asked.

"She will be." Carlisle answered.

It was also at that moment that Rosalie's eyes fluttered, and she started to wake up. The nurses rushed over to her, and made sure that everything was alright.

"Rosalie, sweetheart it's mom, I'm here." Esme grabbed Rosalie's pale hand.

The nurses ushered us out of the room, and the five of us sat in the waiting room. "Whats going to happen to her?" Alice asked. Nobody answered. "Bella?" She turned to me. "Whats going to happen to her?"

Alice's face was so full of worry, and I wanted nothing more then to tell her that everything would be alright, but I didn't know that. At this exact is seemed like _nothing _would be alright.

"I'm not sure Alice. We just need to hang tight."

At around midnight Carlisle took us home, leaving Esme to stay with Rosalie. Carlisle looked very distraught, and it made me sick that such bad things had to happen to this amazingly good family.

None of us could sleep, so we all piled into Alice's and my room. We sat there silently, all thinking about Rosalie. When we had gotten home Carlisle told us that Rosalie had been raped, but they didn't know who did it.

Alice was the most shaken up by it. "It happened to you and to Rosalie!" She sobbed, "What if it happens to me? I don't want to be like Rosalie. I don't want to look like that."

All of us held Alice tight, promising that if anyone wanted to hurt her they would have to get through all of us first.

None of us really slept for more then an hour or so Friday night, and Saturday I felt like hell. I just wanted to sleep. I know that the baby wanted that too, but all I could think about was Rosalie. Carlisle went back to the hospital to be with Rose and Esme, and the rest of us stayed at home.

Monday none of us had to go to school. We all stayed home, silently going about our own business. Tuesday night Rosalie finally returned home. Esme and Carlisle asked us to meet in the dining for a family meeting. Rosalie looked a bit better, although I knew she was miles away from being okay.

"The past few months have been extremely difficult for this family. We have had to go through some unimaginably hard things, but you guys have all been very strong. Your mother and I love you all very much, and we always have your best interests in heart. That is why over the next several months some changes will occur." Carlisle told us.

"Rosalie will be spending the next six to eight weeks in Seattle, at a school where she will be around girls who have gone through the same thing she has. She will receive the best care, and we really think that it will help her.

"When Rosalie returns in the middle of March, we have decided that our family will move. We have bought a house in Seattle, so we won't be moving too far away. Everyone will return to public school, except for Bella." When I heard him say that my head shot up. "Bella, we found a high school for teen mothers, and we thought you might be interested in that. They have a free daycare, so you can bring the baby, and you can still finish high school. Of course, you can enroll in the local public school, if you'd rather."

I nodded. A school full of girls like me. That sounds nice. No more gossiping, or laughing. And a free place for the baby to stay.

"So Rosalie's leaving?" Alice asked.

Esme nodded. "Only for a short while." She promised, "Its for the best. This will be the best way for her to get the help that she needs."

"Will I be switching doctors then?" I asked.

"You would have to anyway. You can't see your family doctor the whole time, so once we get to Seattle you'll start seeing an OB/GYN."

I nodded, then looked at Rosalie. Her skin was still white, and she still looked sick, but she looked fuller. You could tell she had been eating. "I'm so sorry Rose." I said.

"Its not your fault. I'm sorry we all have to move because of me." She looked down.

"Nonsense." Emmett spoke up, "I'm excited to move. Seattle! What a huge city! It's going to be so much fun." I could tell he was just putting on an act, but the gesture was nice.

None of us went back to school that week. We all stayed with Rosalie, trying to help her pack, and telling her that we would see her soon.

Saturday morning rolled around, and Carlisle and Esme packed Rosalie's stuff into the car, and after a long, tearful goodbye, the three of them left.

"It'll be okay." Emmett said, "This is for the best. This is going to help Rosalie."

**Week 14-January 26**

Monday morning we had to go back to school. I started my morning off with my normal sprint to the bathroom. The past week has been so crazy that I haven't had much time to think about me, or the baby. Everything has been about Rosalie.

In fact, up until this morning I had almost completely forgotten about the baby. It wasn't until I pulled on my jeans, and discovered that I was too fat to button them up that I was reminded that I was having a baby. I ran over to the mirror and examined my profile. From the front I didn't look different, but when I turned to the side there was a very obvious baby bump.

How had I not noticed this? Of course it didn't just pop up overnight. Have I really been that preoccupied for the past week and a half that I haven't noticed my self getting fatter? I guess it's because I've been wearing sweats a lot lately. I sighed, and pulled off my jeans. I looked in my closet until I found the jeans I had gotten for christmas, the ones with the elastic in the front. I sighed, and pulled them on.

I got dressed in my jeans and a long sleeved shirt, then went back over to the mirror. The bump was small, but it was definitely there. I grabbed my bag then went down to the kitchen.

Edward was the only one there. I came up behind him and gave him a kiss. "I feel like I haven't talked to you in forever." I told him.

"I know." He agreed.

"Hey," I backed up, "Have you noticed me getting fatter over the past week?"

Edward laughed, "It hasn't just been the past week, Bells. Its been the past couple of weeks. You've slowly been getting bigger for a while now."

"Am I the only one who hasn't noticed?" I stomped my foot.

"You've been preoccupied. Its understandable." Edward placed his hands on my baby bump. "Theres a baby in there." He told me.

"Thanks captan obvious, I never would have figured that one out." I laughed.

I walked into school, and everything was the same. I hadn't been at school for a week, and I guess I've changed in that time. When I left you couldn't really see my stomach, but now its right there for everyone to stare at.

Only two more months, I reminded my self, then you can go to a school where pregnancy is normal.

In english Angela came and sat next to me. "So you're talking to me now?" I couldn't help but me annoyed at her.

"Listen, Bella, I'm really sorry for the way I've been treating you. I feel awful. I honestly do. I know that what your going through is very tough, and if I were in your shoes I'd want a friend."

I couldn't helped but be a little bit touched. "Thats really sweet Angela. You don't have to do that though."

"I want to." She told me, smiling widely.

Having Angela on my side made everything look less intimidating. Now not only did I have my baby on my side, but I also had Angela. Maybe getting through the next two months wouldn't be as bad as I thought.

Tuesday night I had another meeting with Laura. I filled her in on everything that has happened in the past two weeks, which now, as I re-tell it all, I realize is a lot. I tell Laura that I'm moving, and that I'm actually really looking forward to it.

"I'm going to a school for teen moms." I inform her.

"So you are for sure keeping the baby?" She asks.

"I guess so." I nod. "I mean, I don't see why not."

"Thats very brave of you. Not many girls would be willing to give _everything _up when they are only fifteen."

"What do you mean?" I ask, confused.

"No more parties, no more dating, you can't just go out on a whim, you will _always _have to put this baby before your self. Its not going to be easy."

I could feel all of the color drain from my face. What was I getting my self into? I'm only fifteen, I'm not ready to give everything up.

"Oh." I nod. "Yeah."

That night I lay under my covers thinking about what Laura said. Maybe keeping this baby wasn't the smartest thing to do. Maybe looking into adoption wouldn't be the worst thing in the world. Was I being selfish keeping this child? I mean, just look at my family. Every single one of my siblings were adopted, and look at what an amazing home they got. Maybe I was just a fluke. Maybe if I picked a family, then my baby would get an amazing life.

I spent the next couple of days looking into adoption, but by Friday I knew I couldn't do it. I couldn't just hand this baby over. I loved it too much.

I sat down with Esme and explained this all to her. "I know you want what's best for me, and I've looked into adoption. I've thought long and hard about it, and I just don't think I could do it. Maybe if circumstances were different I could, but after everything I've been though I'm just not a strong enough person. I hope you can understand that, Esme. I did think about it though. A lot."

"Thats all I was asking." She wrapped her arms around me, "And I'm glad you came to a decision that works for you. I was wrong to have pushed the adoption thing on you. It wasn't fair of me. I'm so sorry. I will help you though with your baby. Carlisle and I, and the rest of the family will be there for you every step of the way."

"Thanks." I smiled. "I love you."

"Love you too." She held me tight.

"And I love _you _too." I looked down at my expanding stomach. "I love you so much."

**Thanks for reading =] I'm not sure about anyone else, but I was getting annoyed with the whole adoption debate, so I finally ended it once and for all. The next chapter will cover a longer period of time, as well as we will hear from Rosalie at her new school ! As always, please review, I will send you a sneek peek of the next chapter!! **


	13. Week 15, 16, 17 & 18

**Here's the next chapter. Enjoy! And please review. **

**Today I realized that I don't own Twilight, and am not Stephenie Meyer. I DO however own this story, which is second best to owning Twilight. MLIA. **

**Week 15-February 2**

Everything felt very different without Rosalie. Even though there was still five of us, things just felt wrong. Rosalie's room sat untouched, staying just the way she had left it. Esme said that Alice or I could take it, but we both agreed that it wouldn't be right. It was Rosalie's room, and she wouldn't want to come home and find one of us in it.

It had been one week and two days since Rosalie left, and things were just beginning to get back to normal. My stomach seemed to be getting bigger and bigger, and it was beginning to get hard to hide it. I could wear baggy sweaters, but then I just looked fat.

Esme came and knocked on our door, telling us to get up. Just like every other morning, I sat up and said good morning to the ultrasound picture on the wall. My morning sickness was still as bad as ever, and I wasn't sure how much longer I could stand it.

I got dressed then went down to the kitchen. Edward and Emmett were both there, so I just said hello, then went to the fridge. Edward smiled at me, and I subtly smiled back.

"What are you two all smiley about?" Emmett asked. I stiffened, and saw Edward do the same thing. We were trying to keep this from the family for as long as possible. What, with everything else going on we didn't think we needed to add anything to the pile of stress.

"Nothing." We said in unison. Thankfully Emmett dropped the subject, and went back to his breakfast.

When I got to school Angela was waiting by my locker for me, just like in the olden days. Having her back on my side made my days a lot easier to get through. "How was your weekend?" She asked as we walked towards English.

"Oh you know," I shrugged, "Same old."

Angela nodded. "Yeah, same here." I still hadn't told her about Rosalie, and to be honest I wasn't planning on ever telling her. She hadn't exactly proved her friendship over the past few months, and besides, two months from now I'd be gone, never to see her again.

We walked into the classroom and Mike Newton stood up, "Hey look!" He shouted, "It's Fudgey the Whale!" He laughed, pointing at me. I bit my lip, and held my head high. I knew that these comments would be made, I just never really anticipated how much they would hurt.

"Hey Bells," Mike smiled, "Maybe if you weren't such a _whore _you wouldn't be in your Whaley state."

When he said that something inside of me cracked. I could handle Whale comments, but calling me a whore is taking it a step too far.

"Take it back!" I demanded, walking towards him.

"Make me." He smirked.

"God help me Mike, take it back, or I _will _make you."

"Ohh." He cowered in mock fear, "I'm so scared of the beluga. What are you gonna do pudgy, _sleep _with me?"

That was it. Once he said that I lost control and the room turned red. "Fuck you." I spat, moving closer to him. He opened his mouth to say something back, but before he had the chance to I hit him square in the face.

"Jesus!" He spat, falling backwards. His hand flew to his bleeding face. "Crazy bitch _hit _me." A group of kids rushed over to him.

I don't know if it was the anger, or the adrenaline, or just the stupid pregnancy hormones, but tears were streaking my cheek.

At that moment Miss Anderson walked into the room. She gasped when she saw the commotion. "Whats going on here?" She asked, rushing over to us.

"Bella hit me." Mike said at the same time that I said, "Mike was saying horrible shit about me, and I wasn't just gonna sit here and take it."

"What?" She asked, confused at our jumble of words.

"He called me a whale and whore and stuff." I said, at the same time that Mike said, "Bella just jumped me."

Miss Anderson helped Mike up, and told us that she wanted to talk to both of us in the hall.

"Bitch broke my nose." Mike moaned.

"Man up, Mikey." I said, "I didn't hit you that hard."

Miss Anderson followed us into the hall, and closed the door behind her. "Tell me what happened, one at a time. Bella, you first."

"I walked into the room, and Mike started making all these jokes about me being a whale and shit, and then I told him to stop, and then he said that if I wasn't such a whore this never would have happened, and then he said I'd just sleep with any old creep, and I warned him to shut up, and he kept making fun of me, and taunting me, so I hit him in the face."

Miss Anderson nodded. "Mike, does that sound accurate?"

"She attacked me!" He yelled.

"Damn straight." I nodded. "I told you to shut up."

Miss Anderson sent us both the office, and we both ended up with a three day suspension. And just as I had suspected, Mike's nose was not broken, just bleeding.

Esme came and picked me up from school, not saying anything the whole way home.

"Just say something." I begged at last, "I can't take the silence. Just tell me you're disappointed in me, or that I should have just walked away, or something. _Anything_."

"It wasn't fair of Mike to say those things." She said at last. I thought she would add something, like 'But you shouldn't have hit him,' but she didn't say anything else.

The next three days were actually very relaxing. I caught up on homework and my sleep, and forgot all about the stupid boys at school. Friday I was allowed to go back to school, but since I had another Doctor's appointment, Esme kept me home the whole day. The doctor told me that the baby seemed to be developing properly, and, to my relief she told me my morning sickness should begin to let up soon.

The doctor also booked me an appointment for another ultrasound for the week of the 20th. It would be at the appointment that I could find out the baby's sex. At this point I really think it could go either way. I don't really care, as long as it's healthy.

**Week 16-February 9**

The weekend was pretty quiet. Saturday it was snowing lightly, and by Saturday night it was a full on blizzard. We stayed inside and watched movies, and except for the fact the Rosalie wasn't here, everything felt perfect.

By Sunday the storm was so bad that the power had gone out. We lit candles and huddled around the fire place, telling stories and roasting marshmallows.

Monday morning the snow was still falling heavily, so school was canceled. One thing that happened Monday morning was the my morning sickness began to lessen. Instead of throwing up two or three times, I was just throwing up once. By Thursday, when school finally re-opened, my morning sickness was pretty much gone.

Friday after school Esme dropped me off at Laura's office.

"Hi." I said, plopping down on the couch.

"Hello." She smiled, coming to sit across from me. "So how are you?"

"I'm good."

She nodded, "Thats good. So let's jump right in. When we left off last time you said you were keeping the baby. Is that still the plan?"

I took a deep breath, "Yes, it is. I thought long and hard about it, and Esme and I talked about, and we came to a mutual agreement that yes, I am keeping the baby." I placed my hands on my expanding belly.

"Thats good. I think you will be a good mother." Laura smiled. "So, how are other things? How is school?"

"I got suspended last week."

"Oh, Bella." Laura shook her head.

"This kid was saying real nasty things about me, so I just gave him what he had coming." I shrugged.

"And what did your parents say."

"Not much, surprisingly. Things have been real though lately, what with Rose being gone and everything. I think that this wasn't really that high up on their priority list."

"How is Rosalie."

"She's okay. We talked to her last night. She's adjusting really well. I think she's on the path to getting better."

"I'm glad. So Bella, what about you. I know its been a wild couple of months, but are you getting better? I mean, a lot of horrible stuff happened before you came to the Cullens', and I know you don't like talking about it, but how are you feeling about that?"

I looked down at my hands, "I try not to think about it. I am a new person now, I have a new life, and new priorities. I can't spend all my time feeling sorry for my self, when I have another person I need to think of."

"Thats very mature."

"Thanks." I smiled. "It's weird though. Sometimes, in the middle of the night I'll wake up, and I'll think that this whole thing was just a dream, and that I'm back in some home, and it's awful."

"Thats normal Bella. It's only been less then six months. You can't be expected to just get over it, and forget what happened that quickly. I mean, its good that you're moving on, but it's okay to still be upset."

"I know it's okay. It's just scary."

"I know it is, but trust me when I say things will get better."

"I've heard that, and said that, a lot lately, and its starting to sound like real BS."

Laura laughed, "I know, but just hang on there kiddo, alright?"

"Kay." I smiled. "I'll try."

**Week 17-February 16**

**Rosalie POV**

I have been here almost three weeks, and I have to admit that it's really not as bad as I had though. When mom and dad had dropped me off I was convinced that they were leaving me at some crazy house, but it turned out to actually be a pretty cool place.

When I first arrived I was assigned a room, and a roommate. The first week was mostly spent just settling in, and getting used to the routine. The second week I was here I started my classes. And then in my third week I start group and individual counseling.

Monday morning my roommate, Grace, and I walked to the dining hall together. I still didn't eat much, but for different reasons then the other girls. Grace didn't eat because she thought she was too fat. I don't eat because I don't think that I deserve to eat.

We were in line with our trays, collecting just enough food not to not look suspicious, when Grace pointed to a tall blonde lady standing with another man. "That," She said, pointing to the lady, "Is Carol. She's our councilor. You'll meet her tonight at group."

I nodded, then followed Grace to our table. Both of our trays contained two pancakes, an apple and orange juice. I know though that we probably won't eat more than half an apple.

"Hello ladies." Carol walked over to us, and sat down next to me. "Hi Grace. Hi, oh, you must be Rosalie. I'm Carol."

"Hi." I smiled.

"Pretty good breakfast, huh?" She asked, eyeing our trays.

"Mhmm." Grace nodded. I just looked away.

"You're not eating much." She observed. My mouth dropped. She thought that this wasn't much? I would never allow my self to eat this whole tray, let alone any more.

"Well, uh..." Grace looked at me, and I looked at Carol.

"I'm sick. And I must have passed it onto Grace." Carol nodded in a 'uh-hu, I'm totally not buying that' sort of way,' but let it go.

"I'll see you ladies tonight." She finally said, standing up.

Once she was gone we dumped our trays and headed to class. School here is very similar to school back home, except all the students here are a) problemed and b) girls. Everyone who lives here either has an eating disorder, or has been abused to raped or all of the above. The teachers here are all really nice, and are pretty slack about the amount of work they give us.

5 o'clock rolled around, and Grace,and I headed towards Carol's classroom, where her group meetings were held.

We were the first to arrive, and we took our placed in the circle. Soon after six more girls filed in, and then lastly Carol entered. She started off the session by asking us about how our weeks went, and a bunch of the girls told her the funny things that happened in classes, or stuff like that. She then went around and made everyone introduce them selves to me. The group had eight girls: Mayble who is 13 and bulimic, Diana who is 15 and was abused by her boyfriend, Lindsay who is 16 and anorexic, Jade who is 13 and was raped, Tatiana who is 17 and is bulimic, Taylor who is 12 and was abused and then me, who was raped and is anorexic, and Grace, who is anorexic.

Once we were done that we got into the heavy stuff. Some of the girls had been here for a while and had made a lot more progress then I think I could ever make. Carol helped us get to the root of our problems, and helped us understand why we do what we do, and she showed us just how stupid it was.

Pat of me could see my self getting better by the time I left, but in the back of my mind I didn't think I could do it. I don't think I could ever forgive my self for letting what happened...happen.

As I was about to leave Carol reminded me that Friday night was my one on one session.

That night in our room, Grace and I stayed up talking. "I don't think I want to eat." Grace said.

"I do. I miss how I used to be. I want so desperately to go back to the way I was. I want to be able to forgive my self, I just don't know if I can."

"You can." Grace assured me. "I'll help you, and Carol will help you, and all of the other girls here will help you."

"Thanks." I smiled, then snuggled under my covers.

The next morning at breakfast Carol came over to me. "It won't hurt if you take an extra bite today. I know you think that you deserve to be punished, but you don't. It's not your fault."

Even though I didn't quite believe her, I took an extra bite. And then the next day another one. And then another one. And then, by Friday, I allowed my self to eat a whole pancake.

I told that to Carol at my one on one. "I'm eating more."

"Thats good Rosalie." She smiled widely. "What happened to you was horrible, but its not your fault. The boy who did this should be punished, not you."

"I should never have gone with him though." I told her.

"Maybe you didn't make the smartest choice, but he still had no right to rape you."

"I guess."

Carol and I talked for close to three hours, and when I crawled into bed that night I felt a little bit better. I felt like I was on my way to becoming me again.

**Week 18-February 23**

**Rosalie POV**

I still wasn't eating my whole meal, but I was slowly starting to eat more and more. Monday after school I went to the activities office and signed up for cheerleading and soccer. I shouldn't have to give up my whole life because of one stupid boy. Bella was raped, and she's moving forward with her life, so I should too.

By signing up for activities I feel like I'm starting to get control again, and this time I'm doing it the right way. Monday night we had group again, and this time I felt a lot more comfortable. I talked openly with the group about everything that happened, and to my surprise, they actually helped me.

Jade, who is a year younger then me, said that she went through the same thing.

"After I was raped, I felt disgusting. I didn't eat, and I started cutting, and I just wanted to die. I really felt like life wasn't worth living. My parents sent me here though, and I'm really beginning to understand that I shouldn't punish my self for the horrible thing that someone else did."

"I feel the exact same way." I said, "I just feel so stupid, like there's something I could have done to stop it."

"But you couldn't stop it." Jade said, "I know that now, and I also know that best thing I can do now, is to move on. Start my life fresh, and once I leave here, thats exactly what I'm planning to do."

When I left group that night I honestly felt a million times better. Things will get better. I know I've been told that over and over again, but now I'm really starting to believe it.

Tuesday and Thursday night I had soccer, and Wednesday I had cheer. It felt great to be part of a team. It made me feel really included, like people actually wanted me there. Once I get back home I think I'm going to keep up with sports, especially cheer.

Friday night I met with Carol again.

"I'm starting to feel a lot better." I told her. "I'm eating more and more everyday."

"I'm so glad to hear that." Carol smiled.

"Things aren't all better, and I know I have a long way to go, but for the first time in a while, I really truly do believe that things will get better." I know they will. My family has had so many bad things happen that there really can only been good things in store for us now. Right?

**Thanks for reading! Sorry I didn't send out sneek peeks, I've been suppaa busy with volleyball. I think I updated pretty fast though, right? So what did you think??? PLEASE REVIEW!!!! PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE!!! Review and I'll send you a sneek peek. I know this chapter was pretty fast paced, but I want to keep the story moving along. The next chapter will be a little slower and OMG WE GET TO FIND OUT IF THE BABY IS A GIRL OR A BOY! In your review post what gender you think it is. I'll dedicate the chapter to whoever gets it right. And SUPPA bonus points if you can guess that name. SO YEAH, PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE REVIEW!!!! Come on people, lets get to 100 reviews, WE CAN DO IT! REVIEW PLEASE! Love Alice ^^**


	14. Week 19&20

**This chapter is dedicated to twilight1987 for being the ONLY person to guess the gender. And guys, I only got two reviews, so this is your last warning. If you want the story to keep going, then REVIEW.**

**Disclaimer: I'm Stephenie Meyer and I own Twilight. . . NOT **

**Week 19-March 2**

**Alice POV**

"Have a good day guys!" Mom told Jasper and I when she dropped us off at school.

"Bye!" I waved, walking towards the small Forks Middle School building. I held my textbooks tight to my chest, and walked straight to my locker, avoiding the eyes of my peers. When people found out that my sister was pregnant they started looking at me funny, then once they heard that my second sister was shipped off to some school for problemed kids they started looking at me as though I was completely insane.

A lot of my friends aren't allowed to hang out with me anymore, so I'm usually alone at school. People are almost afraid of me, as though the problems that my sisters have are contagious.

I speed walk to my first period class, and took my seat at the back of the class. Just like most other days, I went though my day in a series of choreographed steps. It wasn't until seventh period drama that my steps fell out of synch.

"Alice, Caitlin, Essie, Jack, Max and Matt, you're up." My drama teacher, Mrs McCoy, announced. My group stood up and made our way to the front of the class to present our skit.

"Jill!" Essie said dramatically, looking me in the eyes, "How could you do this to me?" That was my cue to 'slap' her. I raised my hand and was about to hit her when I got this strange feeling. All of a sudden I was no longer in my classroom. I was now in a hospital room. I saw my self lying on a bed, a blue plaster cast on my arm. Esme was standing next to me, and I was crying. I could literally _feel _the pain.

"Alice!" Someone shouted. I blinked a few times, and was now back in the classroom.

"Hey, spacey Stacey, its your line." Essie snapped. Essie used to be my best friend. We were inseparable. It wasn't until recently that she dropped me to become best friends with Ioana Vanderwaal. Now she won't even give me the time of day, unless of course she's yelling at me.

"What?" I blinked, I was still confused about what I had seen.

The rest of my group sighed in frustration. Essie stomped her foot and turned to Mrs McCoy. "How can we be expected to do a decent job when we have to work with _her_?" Essie complained.

"Sorry." I said quietly. "I don't know what happened."

"Well, whatever it was," Caitlin snapped, "Don't let it happen again."

"Sorry." I repeated.

The rest of the day passed painfully slow. I just wanted to go home, and get away from these girls. I can't wait until we move. I can't imagine staying with these girls for the next five years.

In the past when things upset me, I would go right to mom and tell her all about it. She would take me out for coffee, and we would just sit and talk until I felt better. Recently though she's been so busy with Bella and Rosalie that she doesn't really have time to listen to my problems. So now I just have to keep things to myself.

Finally the last bell rang and everyone flooded into the hallways. I was still a little shaken up about what had happened in drama, but I tried my best to push it out of my head.

"Move it spacey." Ryan Shepard, a boy from my drama class shoved past me. My books crashed to the ground, and as I bent down to pick them up, Essie came up behind me and pushed me to the ground.

"Omff." I grunted as I fell to the floor. I was just about to stand back up when I felt someone step on my wrist. Then someone else. Then yet another person. I cried out in pain, but nobody seemed to care. I picked up my books as best I could and then went out to the front of the school, still crying. I quickly spotted my moms car and ran over to her.

"Alice," She gasped, as I climbed into the back seat crying, "Sweetheart, whats that matter?"

"Mom, my wrist, hurts," I sobbed. I extended my swollen bruising wrist for her to see.

"Oh God, Alice, sweetheart, what happened?"

"I fell." I sniffed.

"We need to get that checked out." She said as Jasper climbed into the front. Instead of heading home mom drove straight to the hospital. We walked into the emergency room and were quickly taken to a room.

I was so focused on the pain that it didn't occur to me that my 'vision' from drama was coming true. It wasn't until I was dressed in the gown, in the hospital bed, my arm wrapped in blue plaster and Esme standing next to me that I realized I had seen this already.

"Mom," I cried, "I knew this was going to happen."

"What?" She looked at me, confused.

"I _saw _this happening."

"In a dream?"

"A day dream." I told her.

"Alice, it was probably a coincidence." She said. I nodded, even though I didn't think so. "Just let it go."

By the time I was released it was dark outside. I came home and crawled straight into bed. Bella was already in bed, reading. Her belly was bigger now. You can definitely tell that she's having a baby.

"How are you feeling?" She asked me as I walked in.

"Okay, I guess. I just want to go to sleep."

"I don't blame you." She sighed, "It's be a long day, eh?"

"You have no idea." I moaned, pulling the covers over my head.

I fell asleep relatively fast, and didn't wake up until early afternoon. Mom must have decided to give me the day off school, because I don't remember her trying to wake me up.

I stayed in bed, enjoying the warmth, and comfort. If I had my way, I'd never go back to school again. I'd just stay in my bed all day, everyday. Sleeping and reading and watching TV.

I know that Bella, and probably Rosalie, feels the exact same way, but both of them get up every day. Bella not only has to deal with having no friends, but she also has to deal with having a beach ball under her shirt. My sisters are two of the toughest people I know, and I'm trying my best to be just like them.

It wasn't until I heard everyone coming in from school that I finally forced my self out of bed. I dragged myself downstairs, wearing my gray fleece pajama bottoms that are two sizes two big, my pink Abercrombie hoodie and my best smile.

"Hi!" I said cheerfully as I walked into the kitchen.

"Hi Alice." Emmett said, slapping me on the back. "Did you have a good sleep? You were pretty drugged last night." He laughed his big booming laugh.

"Yeah." I giggled, "I was tired."

I opened the freezer and grabbed a bagel. As I was cutting the bagel I realized how glad I am that I broke my left wrist, not my right. If I didn't have my right arm everyday tasks would be a lot more difficult.

Once I was done my food I went to watch TV. "Hi love." Mom said as she came in, "How are you feeling?"

"A lot better." I smiled.

"Thats good. Your arm is okay?"

I looked at my plaster covered arm. "I'll survive." I giggled.

"So are you ready to go back to school tomorrow?" She asked.

I chewed my lip for a minute. "Mom, will you homeschool me, just until we move?" I asked. I never in a million years thought I would ask to be home schooled. I used to love going to school, and seeing all of my friends was the main reason why.

Mom looked at me, and so much sadness appeared on her face, "Oh Alice," She said, grabbing my good hand in hers. She looked so sad, and it made me feel guilty.

"Just joking." I said quickly, smiling weakly.

"Alice, I am so sorry baby." Mom said, and I could tell she was on the verge of tears.

"Don't be mom. I was just joking." I kissed her on the cheek. "Don't worry about me. You need to focus your energy on Bella and Rosalie, not me."

"Alice, once this is all over, I'm gonna take you somewhere special, just you and I."

"I'd like that." I smiled genuinely.

That night I got into bed feeling a million times better. Sure things are tough, but one month from now I'll be gone, and I'll be starting on a brand new slate. Just the thought of getting a fresh start put me to sleep with a smile on my face.

The next morning I got up normal time and got dressed and ready for school. Of course I don't want to go, and I know it's not gonna be fun, but I can do it. I'm a strong person, and I can last a month, and maybe I'll even have a little bit of fun.

**(Thursday of the same week) Rosalie POV**

I'm halfway through my eight week program, and I can already tell that I've made a lot of progress. I now eat almost full meals, and I don't feel guilty about doing so. Probably my biggest achievement since arriving here is that I have finally begun to forgive my self.

Grace and I were sitting out by the pond, enjoying the sun. The air was cool, but the sun was shining brightly. "I only have like three weeks left here." I said, leaning back, "And then I can go back to my life."

"Lucky." Grace sighed. She had been here almost seven weeks, and still had a ways left to go.

"Gracie, if you just ate, and actually participated in group and went to your one on one's then you could go home too."

Grace sighed, "Rosalie you didn't eat because you felt guilty. Carol has helped you to overcome that guilt, and she's helped you to see that what happened wasn't your fault." She picked up a twig and then snapped it in half, "I don't eat because I'm fat. And no matter what Carol says I'm still fat. Even if she makes me feel better for a little while, I'll just see my self in the mirror and see that I'm too fat, and then I won't eat."

I didn't know what to say to her. I've never been the best person to give advice. I've told Gracie a million times that she's not fat. In fact, Gracie is _too _skinny. You can see her ribs through her shirt, and truthfully it's kind of gross. She won't listen though. She has it in her head that she's too fat, and she won't eat until she's skinny enough, which in my opinion will be never. Grace will never reach her ideal body weight, its too unrealistic. She's going to kill her self trying.

"You're not fat." Was the only thing I could think to say. Gracie frowned then pushed herself up.

"I'll see you at dinner." She grumbled, heading towards the main building. I fell back onto the grass, looking at the clouds. When Alice and I were little we used to compete to see who could find the most objects in the clouds. It was a silly game, but we could spend hours looking.

I stayed out by the pond until the dinner bell rang. I wasn't ready to go back inside, but my stomach was grumbling. I jogged towards the dining hall and took my spot at my usual table with April, Leah, Vanessa and Gracie. The other three girls were already sitting when I got there, but Grace's seat was empty.

"Hi Rose." April smiled. April, Leah and Vanessa are all in my grade, and I became friends with them right away. "Where's Grace?"

"I'm not sure. She came back inside about half an our ago. I'm sure she'll be here soon." Even though Grace doesn't eat, she never missed meal times.

After twenty minutes Grace still hadn't shown. "I'm just gonna run to my room and see if she's there." I pushed back my chair and ran up to our room. I unlocked the door and found Grace lying on her bed, crying.

"Gracie!" I ran over to her, "Grace, what's wrong?"

"It's no use." She sobbed, "I don't even know why I'm trying."

"Trying what Grace?" I asked frantically.

"Rosalie, I'm never going to be skinny enough." She moaned. "It's useless."

I wasn't sure what to say. I didn't want to encourage her to keep trying to loose weight, but I didn't want to tell her to give up either.

"Gracie, you are perfect just the way you are."

"Then why was I sent here?" She challenged.

"You just aren't able to see your perfection yet. It'll come."

"It won't." A whole new wave of sobs poured down her cheeks.

"Come to dinner." I urged, standing up.

"I don't deserve to be seen in public. It's not fair to make you guys look at my fat all day." She rolled over and her shoulders started shaking.

I quietly left the room and went back down to the dining hall. I found Carol sitting at a table with other teachers and staff.

"Uh, excuse me, Carol?" I asked, coming up behind her.

"Hi Rosalie. What can I do for you?"

"I know you're eating, but I really think you need to go see Gracie." I said quietly.

Carol's face got serious, and she stood up, "Of course. Thanks Rosalie." Carol stood up up and headed in the direction of our rooms. I returned to my table and finished eating.

"Grace isn't feeling well," I said, "She's just sleeping." The other girls nodded, and then the conversation shifted. Carol never returned to the dining hall, and when I went back up to my room Grace wasn't there.

The next morning I followed my normal routine, getting up, showering, getting dressed, going for breakfast and then going to classes. I didn't hear from Grace until after lunch. When I got to my sixth period class she was sitting her desk, chatting to the kids around her as though nothing had happened.

"Grace!" I smiled sitting down next to her.

"Hi Rosalie. Sorry I wasn't here this morning."

"Thats okay, I'm just glad you're feeling better."

The rest of the day went on as if nothing out of the usual had happened last night, and I didn't question Grace's whereabouts, I was just glad that she was smiling again.

That night after dinner I made my way to Carol's classroom. "Hi," I greeted her as I walked in.

"Hi Rosalie." She motioned for me to take a seat. "So, how is everything?"

I sat down in one of the desks. "I'm good. I guess I'm just kind of looking forward to going back home. I really miss my family, and I bet my sister is huge by now." I giggled.

Carol looked at me confused, and it suddenly dawned on my that I've never mentioned any of my siblings during group or one one one. I guess they've never really come up in conversation.

I laughed, "I guess I've never told you about my family, have I?" Carol shook her head.

"Besides your parents, you've never really talked about your siblings before."

"Okay, well Alice is thirteen, the youngest, then there's me and Jasper, we're twins. Bella is fifteen, Edward is sixteen and Emmett is seventeen."

"That's quite the family." Carol observed.

"Yes, well they adopted Edward first, and then Jasper and I, then Emmett then later that year they adopted Alice, then last was Bella. There was a long gap between Alice and Bella though, ten or elven years."

"So how old were you when you were adopted?"

"Jazz and I were three. I don't really have many memories from my old life though. My dad killed my mom when Jazz and I were barely a year, and then we went to live with my grandma for a few years, and then when we were three she got really sick, so we were placed with Carlisle and Esme, and soon after they adopted us."

"So you've been through a lot."

"I guess, but it doesn't feel like it. It doesn't feel like I was adopted. To me Carlisle and Esme are my mom and dad."

"Thats good then Rosalie, I'm glad you adjusted so well. Are all of your siblings so well adjusted?"

"Yes. Well, almost all. Bella's been having a really tough time." I frowned, "She didn't join our family until she was fifteen. She's had a really rough life though. Like, horrible. She was bounced from home to home, living with complete strangers, some of which did horrible things to her. Then a few weeks before she came to us she was raped. So you can probably understand that she's been having a very hard time."

"Thats horrible." Carol shook her head, "How come she didn't come here too?"

"She handled things a lot better then I did. She sees a psychologist, but she got over her guilt and stuff very fast. She couldn't get depressed, she had to keep her head up."

"Thats very mature of her."

"Well she had no choice, she has to keep going, for the baby."

"Baby?"

"Thats what I meant when I said that my sister is probably huge by now. The guy who raped Bells before she came here got her pregnant."

"Oh my God."

"She's doing really well though. She's decided to keep the baby. We get to find out the sex of the baby next week."

"I'm glad that she's doing well."

"Me too. It took a while, but she's getting back into the beat of things. She's going to be a great mom."

"And you're going to be a great Aunt, Rose."

"Really?" I smiled, "Thanks."

"You're welcome. Our time is up for this week, but I'll see you monday."

I stood up, "Bye Carol, thank you." I walked slowly down the hall, I was going to be an aunt. Aunty Rosalie...it had a nice ring to it.

**Week 20-March 9**

"Bella!" Alice called, "Lets go!"

"I'm coming!" I grabbed my purse and ran down the stairs. Today was the day that I _finally _get to find out if I'm having a girl or a boy. Esme had let Alice take the day off of school so she could come with us.

"I'm so excited!" Alice chirped, "I can't wait to shop for baby stuff!" Alice squealed, clapping her hands together.

We drove the hospital, and I couldn't stay still. I had been waiting so long for this day to come. The suspense has been _killing _me.

When we got to the hospital Alice practically flew out the door and sprinted inside. Esme and I followed as quickly as we could behind her.

In the waiting room I picked up a Cosmo magazine, and flipped through the pages. "What are you reading about sex for?" Esme asked me.

I quickly put the magazine back, avoiding her question. The truth was though that Edward and I were thinking about it. We wanted to do it at least once before I got _too _fat.

We were still deciding though if we should sleep together first, or tell the family first. I mean technically we were doing nothing wrong, we're not blood related or anything.

All of a sudden Alice got this really weird, almost blank look on her face. "Alice?" Esme and I asked, "Alice are you okay?"

Alice quickly opened her eyes, and blinked a few times, "I saw a pink a purple room..." She said, her voice distant.

"Isabella Cullen?" Saved by the bell. Alice, Esme and I followed the tech into the room. She had me lie down on the table and pull up my shirt.

"So, twenty weeks, halfway, thats pretty exciting." The tech smiles.

"Mhmm. It is." I nod, eager for her to just tell me the sex already.

"So, are we finding out the gender today?" The tech asks.

"Yes!" I say giddily.

"Okay then," She smiles, "Lets get started then."

"Wait!" Alice shouts. She whips out her phone and calls Rosalie. "Rosalie? It's Alice. Yes! I'm putting you on speaker."

"Hi everyone!" Rosalie's voice crackled through the phones speaker. "Now you can get started."

The tech smothers the gel on my stomach then runs the machine thing over it. She looks at the screen and smiles. I look too and I see a baby. You can really tell that it's a baby. My baby.

"Are you ready?" The tech asked me.

"Yes!" I nodded enthusiastically. I had been waiting for this moment since I had found out I was pregnant.

Esme sat next to me, squeezing my hand, and I could hear Rosalie's fast breathing on the other end of the phone. Alice stood on the other side of me, staring expectantly at the screen.

The room got intensely silent for a moment, and then Rosalie finally burst, "Just tell us already!" She giggled impatiently. "The suspense is _killing _me!"

The tech smiled, "Well congratulations Bella, you're going to be the proud mother of a baby girl."

"I knew it," I smiled. "I just knew it."

"You so did not." Alice laughed, lightly punching my arm.

"Well Alice, you better start looking at baby furniture. You do want to decorate the nursery, right?" I asked.

Alice's eyes got wide, "Really?" I nodded, "Oh Bella, thank you so much!" She hugged me as best as she could, considering I was lying down.

Esme looked at me, and smiled widely, "Congratulations Bella."

"Thanks." I beam. "A girl. I'm having my very own baby girl." This was really happening. I'm really having a baby.

I looked over at Alice expecting her to be all smiles, and she was, but behind her smile I saw a hint of panic.

**Thanks for reading, and thanks to those who reviewed. Seriously though guys, hundreds of people are reading, and only two or three people are reviewing. If people aren't going to review, then I'm not going to write. Simple as that. Please review guys. PLEASE! I won't be able to send out a sneak peak of the next chapter this time, but the next chapter will be dedicated to the people who review. SO PLEASE REVIEW, or I'll stop updating. Thanxx **

**Love Alice ^^**


	15. Week 21&22

**Hey guys! Sorry it took me so long to update, I've been out of town for a while. Thank you so much for all of the reviews though! It means so much!! So... as promised this chapter is dedicated to everyone who reviewed chapter 14... **

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**Week 21-March 16 **

**Edward POV**

Things were finally beginning to go back to normal. Well, as normal as things could be. Moving day was fast approaching so there were boxes scattered all around the house. Bella was getting bigger and bigger every day and Rosalie would be coming home soon.

For the first time in months I could actually see things working out. Bella and I had been secretly going out for almost three months now and we were doing really well. I can honestly say that Bella is the nicest most kind hearted girl I have ever met, and I think it's safe to say that I'm really falling in love with her. I don't care about her past, if anything it makes me love her more. Bella deserves only the best, and I think that I can give it to her.

The only thing that was getting me down was the fact that she insisted on keeping it a secret. She was petrified that if mom and dad found out they would be angry at her.

"They'd send me away Edward. They'd say I'm a bad influence." My arms were wrapped around her and her face was buried in my chest.

"Bella, if we just tell them they'd be less likely to be upset then if they found out on their own."

"I can't do it." She frowned. "And to be honest I kind of like the secrecy thing. It's sort of dangerous." A small smile formed across her thin lips.

"How about I tell Dad and you tell Mom?" I suggested.

She frowned again. "I don't--"

"Bella, listen, I love you so much, but I won't sleep with you until our family knows that we are dating. It just doesn't seem right."

Her face dropped and she pulled away from me. "What?"

"It has nothing to do with you. I love you so much but I don't like doing things behind my parent's back."

She sighed, "Fine. I'll tell Esme and you tell Carlisle."

I kissed her lightly on the lips. "Thanks Bells. This means a lot to me." She pressed herself closer to me.

"I love you." She whispered softly in my ear. "And I you." I smiled and leaned in to kiss her again.

**Bella POV**

I took a deep breath then knocked on Esme's bedroom door. "Come in." She called. As I opened the door my heart started beating so fast I was surprised she couldn't hear it.

"Esme." I said very seriously, "There is something I need to tell you." I closed the door and sat down on the end of her bed.

"What?" She asked, "Bella is everything okay? Did something happen?" Her eyes were wide and her face was full of worry.

"I'm okay. But there is something you need to know." I folded my hands in my lap. "Esme, I've been dating someone for almost three months now. I know you probably think it's bad for me to be dating, but I'm really in love with this guy, and he's so amazing and I know he's a good guy and I just know you would love him."

"Bella, why did you feel like you needed to hide this from me?" Esme looked a little bit hurt.

"Because. I was scared." It was barely a whisper.

"Why would you be scared?"

"It's Edward."

"What?"

"I've been dating Edward." I looked up slowly, gauging her reaction.

"W-w-hat? Like, your _brother _Edward?"

"He's not really my brother Esme. And I really love him, and he really loves me. He's the sweetest guy I've ever met."

"I just don't know what to think..."

"Just don't be mad at Edward, alright."

"I'm not mad..." She said slowly, "I'm just shocked. It'll take some time to get used to."

"Please just give us a chance. Edward is really good for me."

"Bella I really don't know if this is a good idea."

"But it is." I insisted. "I know in my gut that this is the best thing for me. And I'm going to continue dating Edward, whether you approve or not." My voice was starting to sound defensive. "Just please, _please _give us a chance."

Esme was silent for what felt like forever. "Fine." She said finally. "Does Carlisle know?" She asked.

"Edward is telling him." I assured her.

"I'll have to discuss this with him." She told me.

"Of course." I nodded, "Thank you for giving it a chance though." I wrapped my arms around her and held her tight.

"You're welcome." She said, hugging me back.

**Edward POV**

I have no clue how dad is going to react. I've mentally prepared my self for the worst as I knock on his office door.

"Come in!" He called. I cautiously opened the door and then lightly shut it behind me. "Well Edward, what can I do for you."

I took a deep breath and sat down on one of his chairs. "Dad, there is something you need to know. And before you say _anything _just hear me out." I took another deep breath, "Dad, a couple months ago this amazing girl came into my life. She is a little bit troubled, but she has an amazing heart. She is so beautiful, and such an amazing person. I know that she has had her fair share of problems, but which one of us haven't? Dad, I wanted to tell you that I'm in love with Bella. And she's in love with me. We've we been dating for almost three months and I've never been happier. I hope you can understand dad, I am so madly in love with her."

"Edward...Bella is a great girl, but I don't know if this is the best thing for her right now."

"I think you're wrong. Bella needs someone to be there for her and to love her, and I can be that someone."

"Well...does, uh, mom know?"

"Bella's telling her."

"Edward, I hope you guys know what you're doing."

"We do dad. We love each other. We can't help it."

"I'll have to talk to mom, and of course there will have to be rules."

I nodded. "Thank you dad, for understanding. It means a lot to me."

"I hope you guys can be happy. And I hope you're doing this for the right reasons. I know you want to take care of Bella, and thats great, but it's not your job to care for her. Your job is to go out and get an education and start your own life. It's your mother and my job to make sure that Bella gets the help she needs."

"I know that dad. But I'm not dating her because I feel sorry for her. I'm dating her because I really love her."

"I hope so Edward. For your sake and for hers I really truly hope so."

I stood up. "Thanks dad."

**Bella's POV (later on in the week) **

"So, that wasn't as bad as I had thought it would be." Edward laughed. We were sitting in the living room and Carlisle and Esme had just finished talking to us about the dating thing.

"_So," Carlisle had began, "Your mother and I have thought about it for a while now, and we agree that the two of you are allowed to date,"_

"_But there will be some rules, and they will be enforced." Esme added sternly. _

"_Of course," Carlisle nodded, "You two must be respectful and responsible." _

"_Be considerate of the rest of us, and don't be a lovely dovey. in front of us. And you two are not to be in the same bedroom over night." _

_Edward and I nodded. These requests seemed pretty reasonable. _

"_And the biggest thing," Carlisle added, "If the two of you are to break up I don't want it to be awkward. No matter how things turn out between the two of you, you will always be in each others lives."_

"_That sounds fair." Edward said, holding my hand in his. _

"_Good." Carlisle and Esme nodded. _

"_Thank you so much mom and dad. This means a lot to us." _

"_Thanks Carlisle and Esme. It really does mean a lot." I smiled and looked up at Edward. I knew that we would never break up. I had a feeling that Edward was going to be the one who I spend the rest of my life with. _

"Yeah. It was actually relatively painless." I moved closer to Edward and he lightly kissed the top of my head. I couldn't help but smile. This whole situation just felt so right.

**Week 22-March 23**

It was the last week before spring break and I was so excited. After this week I would never have to come back to this school again.

Things had gotten better since Angela started talking to me again, but I was still looking forward to leaving.

It was raining heavily outside and Mr Banner was droning on about something sciencey. I wasn't really paying attention though, all I was really thinking about was moving, seeing Rosalie again and of course Edward.

"Miss Swan." Mr Banner called my name, but it didn't register right away that he was talking to me. "Miss Swan!" He repeated.

"Yes sir?" I answered, looking up quickly.

"How many protons are in a copper atom?"

"Uh..." I racked my brain trying to find the answer but I was coming up blank. "I don't know." A couple kids snickered, but I did my best to ignore them.

"Miss Swan, you may only have two days left at this school, but that doesn't give you the right to slack off." The snickers became giggles.

"I'm sorry." I muttered.

Mr Banner sighed, then asked the same question to someone else. Kill me now. I mean seriously, could things get any worse.

All of a sudden I felt something flutter in my stomach. "Ahhh!" I screamed, jumping out of my chair. Every single head in the room turned to look at me. Then I felt it again.

"Somethings happening to the baby!" I cried. My hands flew to my baby bump, and then I felt it again. "I'm going to the nurse." I grabbed my bag and sprinted down the hall.

I opened the door to the office and ran straight to the nurse's office. "My baby..." I huffed, "Somethings happening to it."

The nurse came over to me and placed her hands on my belly. "There it is again!" I cried.

"Sweetheart, calm down. Nothings wrong with the baby, its just kicking." The nurse smiled. "It's completely normal."

I sniffed. "Really?"

She nodded, "You can talk to your doctor about it if you want, but trust me, it's totally normal."

I nodded weakly. "Thank you."

I really didn't feel like going back to class so I decided to take an early lunch. I put my stuff in my locker then went into the cafetiria. It was almost empty except for a few kids on spares. I bought a chocolate milk and an apple the sat down at a small table.

My heart was still racing. I tired to calm my self down, but I still wasn't convinced that everything was okay. I placed my hand on my stomach. I loved this baby girl so much. The thought of anything being wrong with her made me sick to my stomach.

The rest of the day passed quickly and as soon as I got home I called my doctor to make certain that nothing was wrong with the baby.

"She's just kicking." She assured me.

"You're positive?"

"110%" She said, "But Bella, I just want to tell you how great it is that you're concerned. You're going to make a great mom."

I sighed with relief. "Thank you."

The next day I woke up with new found energy. Today was Friday. My last day at Forks High. We would be moving on Sunday and then I could start my life over again.

Tonight would also be my last appointment with Laura. I had been seeing her for almost five months now, and I have to admit that I'm really going to miss her. She's helped me so much. She's helped me to come to terms with everything thats happened and she showed me that what happened wasn't my fault. She's helped turned me into a whole new person.

At school I emptied out my locker and collected all my assignments and documents from the office. I said good bye to Angela. I really wasn't going to miss anyone here. These people were never my real friends, and besides Angela, I'm not going to give any of them a second thought again.

After school Emmett took me to Starbucks. Laura told me that she has a weakness for hot chocolate, so I bought a variety pack of like ten different can of chocolate powder and I bought her a colorful mug.

"She'll love it." Edward told me, wrapping his arm around my shoulder.

"Mhmm." I nodded.

That night Esme dropped me off in front of Laura's office and I walked in holding the gift bag.

"Hi Bella!" Laura smiled as I walked in. I shut the door and sat down. "How are you?"

"I'm good. I'm getting excited to move."

"Yeah, I bet you are. I think this is going to be such a good thing for you."

"I'm gonna miss you though. You've helped me so much."

"You are such an amazing girl, you just needed a little direction. You did most of the work on your own though."

"Well, still, thank you." I handed her the gift bag. "To show my appreciation."

"Bella," She smiled, "You didn't have to do that."

"I wanted to." She opened the gift and a tear slid down her cheek.

"That was so thoughtful." She stood up and gave me a hug. "And I have a little something for you." She reached behind her desk and grabbed a small gift bag.

I opened it and pulled out a little pink dress and a pair of white tights. "Laura!" I gasped, "I love it! She's gonna love it!"

"You're going to be such a good mom."

I hugged her again, and this time we were both crying.

"Thank you for everything Laura." I sniffed, "It means so much. And I'll keep you updated. Expect pictures. Lots of them."

"I'd expect nothing less."

That night I sat on my bed and looked around my room. Everything I owned was in boxes. This was it. Goodbye old Bella, hello new and improved Bella. I'm getting a fresh start. I have an amazing family, a loving boyfriend and in a few months time I'll have my baby girl. Everything was perfect. At least I hoped it was. I had this feeling that something was going to go wrong, but I told my self to ignore it. Everything will be okay, right?

**Hey guys so I hoped you liked it! The next chapter will be the move AND A HUGE TWIST! So KEEP READING AND REVIEWING!**

**Also, I have a new story up called STICK IT. It's all human, and it centers on Rosalie. Heres a quick summary. **

"**Rosalie Hale is a 13 year old gymnast who's world seems to be falling apart. First she witnesses the death of her mother, then her father brings home his new girlfriend. Things starting looking up though when gorgeous Emmett Cullen asks her out. Can Rosalie keep sane amidst all the craziness?" **

**PLEASE READ THAT STORY TOO! It doesn't have any reviews yet : ( and that makes me REALLY sad. Thanks guys! **

**Heres the link: /s/5434328/1/Stick_It**

**If the link doesn't work click on my profile and you'll find it there : ) **

**REVIEW! **

**Love Alice ^.^ **


	16. Week 23&24

**Hey everyone! Sorry it's been so long, life has just been like soo chaotic, but things are starting to get back to normal now so I PROMISE I will write more!! And yeah, I know that this chapter isn't my best ever, but towards the end things start to really get going, so I hope you like it!! AND PLEASE REVIEW!!!**

**Disclaimer: Stephenie Meyer? Naat a chaance. **

**Week 23-March 30**

**Rosalie POV**

"I'm gonna miss you so much." Gracie pouted. She was sitting on her bed watching as I packed up all of my belongings. Today was _finally _the day that I would be going home. Well, not exactly home, but I would be going back to my family.

"I'll miss you too. I'll email you every day though." I promised. "And you're going home in a few weeks too."

After Gracie had her meltdown a few weeks ago, she started to get better. She started eating more and she went to her meeting with Carol and last week they set a date for her to return home.

"Yeah, but I'll still miss you." She whined. I forced my suitcase shut then zipped it up.

"We'll keep in touch." I insisted. Once all of my stuff was packed up I stood up and looked around the small room that had been my home for the past two months. Gracie's half looked exactly the same. Her bed was unmade and her clothes were scattered on the floor and her posters covered the wall. My side though looked completely different. Every thing that had made this side of the room mine was now packed away. My pink duvet and violet sheets were no longer covering my bed. My pictures and posters were no longer plastered up on my wall. The shelves and closet was empty except for a few hangers. My side of the room was now a blank slate.

As I looked at the white walls I decided that this empty half a room represented two things: First, my chance at a new life. New house, new city, new school. A fresh start. Second: The fresh start for a new girl. As soon as I left a new arrival would be assigned to my room. She would take my spots at group and every Friday at five she would be meeting with Carol. A fresh start.

"Bye Gracie." I whispered as I hugged her tight. "I'm never going to forget you."

"Good luck Rosalie. I hope everything goes well for you."

"You too."

All of a sudden there was knock on the door. "Rosalie?" Carol said as she walked into the room, "You're family is here."

I smiled widely and grabbed my bags. "Bye Grace!" I waved as I followed Carol into the hall.

"Rose!" Alice shrieked when I walked into the family area.

I dropped my bags and ran over to where my family was standing. First I hugged mom, then dad then I made my way to each of my other siblings.

"Bella!" I gasped, "You're so big!" I placed my hands on her round belly and felt a light kick. "She kicked me!" I smiled.

"We've missed you so much!" Alice squealed wrapping her tiny arms around my waist.

I felt as though I was going to start crying. I had no idea that I missed my family _this _much. "I've miss you all too!" I sniffed, "So much!"

Everyone else took their turn coming forward. "You look really good." Edward commented as he hugged me.

"Thanks!" I couldn't stop smiling. I was so happy to be back with my family.

Edward and Emmett went to go grab my bags and then we headed outside. Mom came up next to me and wrapped her arm around my shoulder. "I'm so proud of you Rosalie. I know you weren't keen on coming here, but I think it really helped you."

"It did mom, thanks."

"You look much better baby girl."

"Thanks mom. And thanks for making me come here. I think it was what I needed. They helped me a lot."

"I'm really sorry that all of this had to happen to you Rose. It was my job to protect you... and I didn't." She squeezed me tight and kissed me on the top of my head.

"It's not your fault mom." I whispered. If I had learnt one thing while I was here it's that what happened was no one's fault except for the guy who did this to me. Yeah, I didn't make the best choices, but I couldn't spend the rest of my life punishing my self.

We all piled into the car and dad pulled onto the freeway. I was practically shaking with excitement. I was getting a second chance.

Finally after what felt like _forever, _we pulled into the driveway of our new house.

"This is our _house_?" Alice gasped. It was huge. Like, gigantically huge! I leapt out of the car and really took a good look at my new home. It was very modern, yet it still looked homey. There were lots of big windows and it looked to be three or four floors.

Dad went and unlocked the door and then we all went to explore our new home. Mom and dad took us on a tour, telling us what would be going in each room. The house was _amazing_. First we went down to the basement. There was a bathroom in one corner and a bar in the other.

"We're going to get couches and TV for you guys. And also we were thinking we would put a pool table or something down here." Dad explained.

Next we went up to the main floor. There was a huge modern kitchen with stainless steel appliances that I _know _mom will just love cooking in and also a large dining room with a fire place. On the main floor there was also a living room, bathroom and a room which mom and dad said would be like a family office.

The second floor had a master bedroom as well as two smaller rooms. As well, across the hall from each other there were two staircases, each leading up to a different side of the house.

"So this is your father and my room," Mom said, "And our offices, and then up each of these stair cases is another floor, each with four bedrooms and two bathrooms, so the boys and girls will each get their separate spaces."

Alice, Bella and I ran up the staircase to our right and the boys went up the one on the left.

"Wow!" Alice gasped. This was so cool, it was like we had a part of our the house just to us. There were two bedrooms on each side of the hall and the bedrooms were connected by a joint bathroom.

Alice and I took the rooms on the left so that Bella could have the room that shared a bathroom with the room that would become the nursery.

"I love this house!" Alice squealed, running out of her room.

Once we done claiming our rooms we ran over to the boys side. It looked exactly the same as ours, except instead of their fourth room being a bedroom they were going to turn it into a rec room with a TV and xbox and stuff.

We spent the next few nights at a hotel while the house was being re-painted. My room was going to be purple, just like my old room, Alice's was going to be pink and Bella's was going to be baby blue. Bella wants the baby's room to be brown and pink, so Esme suggested painting the walls pink and then getting brown furniture, which I think Bella and Alice both agreed to.

I loved being back with my family. I mean, don't get me wrong, I loved being with Gracie and Carol and all of my friends, but I also really like being with my family.

The only thing that none of us have mentioned yet is school. Mom and dad had originally said they were going to put all of us in public school, but I know that recently they were re considering that. They hadn't really told us anything though, and none of us wanted to bring it up. It was spring break now, and I loved not having to worry about school and home work and stuff.

After a week of staying in the hotel the house was finally ready. Mom and dad went early in the morning to meet the movers and then Emmett drove the rest of us to the house after lunch.

It was dark by the time the house was all set up and I was nearly falling asleep. "This is it," Mom said coming up behind me, "This is our fresh start."

I know that this house and this move symbolizes a lot. A second chance for Bella, and new start for me and a blank slate for the whole family. I know that the move is a good thing, but a little part of me misses how things used to be. Back before Bella came, before new years, back when our life was normal.

**Week 24-April 6**

**Bella POV**

Since moving into the new house I've spend a lot of time in my room. I've never really had my own space before, I mean in the foster homes I either shared a room with another kid, or even if I did have my own room it was never really mine. And then at our old house I had to share a room with Alice. I mean, don't get me wrong, I love Alice to death but on the other hand I really like having my own space.

Today is one of those days where the sun in shining brightly and to not spend the day outside would be ridiculous, but I really just wanted to lie here in my room. My room is everything I had imagined. The walls are baby blue and the furniture is all a crisp white color. It's so bright and happy, just the thing I need.

Since Rosalie came home everything has started to feel semi normal again. The family is beginning to feel right again. My stomach is pretty big now and when I'm lying flat on my back it's like theres a mountain in front of me.

Today was my first doctors appointment with my new OB/GYN and then on Thursday we are going to see our new schools.

Esme still hasn't told us all where we are going yet, but she promised she'd tell us all tonight.

I heard the front door open and then my family's voices filled the house.

"Bella!" Esme called, "Time to go."

I sighed and climbed off my bed. I waddled downstairs and grabbed my jacket. I hate going to doctors. They all give me the same horrible look, like I'm a piece of trash or something, just because I'm so young. I hate it.

The drive to the doctors was short and silent. Esme and I haven't really talked a lot lately. I know she's stressed out with everything and I can't help but feel like I'm a burden.

The waiting room here looks exactly the same as the one in Forks. The same plastic chairs and dated magazines. I guess doctors office's are the same every where, right?

"Isabella?" The nurse called my name. I stood up and followed her to a small room. She recorded my height and weight and all that stuff then told me to wait for the doctor.

I'm so accustomed to doctor's visits that they are really just a pain at this point. The doctor came in and introduced her self.

"I'm Melanie Greene. You must be Isabella?"

"Bella." I corrected her.

"So Bella, how has the pregnancy been so far?"

"Normal. Everything has gone great."

The rest of the visit was routine. She did all of the regular checks and asked all of the expected questions. She monitored the baby's position and made an appointment for me to come in again in two weeks.

She was getting so big, and she really looks like a baby now. I couldn't believe that is two and a half months I would be holding her in my arms.

"Everything's good?" Esme asked as I walked back into the waiting room.

"She's perfect." I beamed.

"How are you doing Bella?" Esme asked once we were in the car. "I feel like you've been too quiet lately."

"I'm good." I told her. And for the most part, that was the truth. I am good. I mean sure, things are a little bit crazy right now, but I really feel like I've done a good job keeping my head amidst all of the craziness. I missed having someone to talk to though. I used to talk to Laura at least once a week, and I felt like a could tell her anything. Now though, I feel like I can't talk to anyone. Yeah, I trust Esme, but I don't want to burden her will all of my stupid thoughts.

"Are you sure?"

"Yes. I'm just a little bit nervous for school and stuff."

Esme bit her lip, but didn't say anything. "You know I'm always here for you Bella, right? I know that in a few months time you'll be a mother, but you're still a baby yourself, and you still need a mother too. So if you ever want to talk, about anything, I'm here for you."

"Thanks Esme. That means a lot." I smiled. I couldn't believe how lucky I was to end up with such a great family.

That night after dinner Carlisle and Esme gathered us all in the living room.

"So, your mother and I have finally agreed on the schools you guys will be attending." Carlisle said.

"Edward and Emmett will be attending William McKinley High School. Jasper you will be at Cedar Lake Middle School, Bella you will be at the Jean Louise School, which is a school for teen mothers and Alice and Rosalie will be at Saint Mary's School for Girls'."

"What?" Alice and Rosalie cried. "You must be kidding!" Alice wailed.

"I am _not _going to an all girls' school!" Rosalie moaned.

"It's only for three months girls. We think it would be best, at least for now. We'll reconsider for next year." Esme promised.

"Mom! That's not fair! Please let me go to a normal school!" Alice whined. Tears filled her big green eyes. "Please?" She pouted.

"Next year Alice. Now get ready for bed. I'm taking you girls to get your uniforms tomorrow."

"What?" Alice cried. "Mom, do you like hate me or something?"

"Alice, sweetheart, it's not that bad."

"I hate you." Alice hissed as she stomped out of the room.

The room was uncomfortably quiet. The boys were staring at their hands and Rosalie was crying quietly. Esme and Carlisle were having a silent conversation with each other. Esme wants to give into the girls and let them go the public school, but Carlisle is telling her not to back down. They weren't saying anything, but they were as readable as a book.

"I'm gonna head up to bed." I finally said, breaking the silence. "So, uh, goodnight." I pushed my self up off of the couch and silently made my way up the stairs. Back in the living room nobody else was moving.

I walked into my room and buried my self under the covers. I just want today to be over. It seems like _nothing _is going right.

There was a knock on my door, "Bella!" Alice shouted, "Phone!"

I sat up puzzled, who would be calling me here? I had only been living here a week, and I hadn't given anyone our new number.

I grabbed the phone off my night stand. "Hello?"

"Bella?" It was a guys voice, but I couldn't place it.

"Yes? Who is this?"

"It's Kyle." _Kyle? Like the guy who raped me Kyle? _

"H...h...ow did you get this number?" I whispered.

"It's not that hard to track someone down if you really try." He sounded like he was drunk.

"What do you want?" I could barely speak. Kyle was the one person I had tried so hard to forget about, and now here he was, right on the other end of the phone.

"Rumor has it," He slurred, "That you are carrying something that belongs half to me."

"What?" I chocked.

"That baby is just as much mine as it is yours." He growled.

"You raped me." I whispered, but my voice got caught in my throat.

"My lawyer will be in contact." He said. Was he kidding? He raped me, and now he was going to sue me for shared custody of _my _baby, he couldn't be serious.

"I'll talk to you soon, Bella." His voice gave me the chills.

The line went dead, but I didn't hang up. I was in shock. How could this possibly be happening?

"Mom!" I finally screamed. I had never called Esme 'mom' before, but this time it just felt right, like I couldn't really call her anything else. "Mom!" I yelled again. I heard footsteps running up the stairs and my bedroom door flew open.

"Bella," Esme ran over to me, "What's the matter."

"Kyle called." I sobbed. She looked at me confused, but I kept going. "He said he's going to sue me for custody of the baby."

"What?" Anger appeared on her face.

"You can't let him..." I begged. "He can't do that!"

Esme wrapped her arms around me. "I won't let him near you or the baby. I promise." And after everything I've been though, how could I not believe her? I had to, it was my only choice.

**Sooo....what did you think? PLEASE REVIEW! If you review I'll send you a snippet of the next chapter!!! Plus, reviews = faster writing. So PLEASE, I'M BEGGING YOU, REVIEW! And also, check out my new story, Stick It. **

**Thanks so much, and Keep up the great reading,**

**Alice ^.^**


	17. Week 25

**Hey! So just so you all know, this chapter switches POV's a lot, and mainly focuses on Alice. Things are starting to get a little heavy, but it's all leading to something. [At the end of the chapter there is a fairly long authors note just explaining where this story is coming from, because some of the things I write about are heavy, but they are based on real events. So just read that] AND ALSO PLEASE REVIEW!!!!!!! Thanks!!!**

**Disclaimer: Naaadddddaaaaa. Zip. Zero. Zilch I own a-nothing. **

**Week 25-April 13**

**Alice POV**

School starts on Monday and I'm pretty sure that besides Bella, none of us are looking forward to it in the slightest. I couldn't even believe that mom and dad were making me go to an _all girls school_! Like, how mean! After they gave me the news I refused to leave me room. Even when Bella got that phone call and the whole family went to comfort her, I still stayed locked up in my room.

I had seen this coming. It was a while ago, the day we found out that Bella was having a girl. We had just found out the sex when I had this...vision thing where some guy was grabbing the baby away from Bella. I tried to push the thought out of my head, but now with that phone call and everything...I'm not sure what to do. I don't want to tell mom, I mean she has so much other stuff going on with Bella and Rose and the new house and all that, I don't want to have to tell her that I'm crazy too.

I was trying to concentrate, you know, to see if I could see anything else, but I haven't had a vision since then.

"Alice!" Mom called, "Rosalie! Girls, we're going!" Today was the day that we were going to get our uniforms. I've yet to see what they look like, but I bet they're horrible.

I cried the whole way to the uniform store. I know it seems like I'm being a baby, but I'm not. It's just that I can't stand the idea of being at a place with just girls. Girls are horrible, they are so mean. Boys are just so much more fun to hang out with and stuff. And plus, wearing a uniform? Like _are _you kidding me? Fashion is all I have! Without nice clothes I'm just another girl in the crowd.

"Alice!" My mother finally snapped, "Stop that crying _this second_!" My mom almost never yells at me, so if she does I know that she's mad. Like, really mad.

"But--" I started to protest.

"Alice, just be quiet. I can not even believe how you are acting about this! Do you think that we want to be here? No. None of us are happy right now, but we are all _sucking it up_. I don't know how you can possibly sit there and feel sorry for yourself because you have to go to school you don't like for _three months _after everything that your sisters have been through. I am sure that Bella would gladly take your spot. I bet that she would much rather be going to an all girls school as opposed to carrying the baby of the guy that raped her and is now threatening to take her child from her. So honestly, how about you stop crying and count your fucking blessings. You should be thankful that no one has ever forced you to have sex, not crying because you have to wear a fucking kilt."

I stopped crying immediately. Rosalie stiffened in her seat. Mom has never blown up like that at me, ever. I mean of course she's yelled, but never anything like _that_. I couldn't believe that she said those things to me.

"Sorry." I muttered.

The whole rest of the way to the store I didn't dare say anything. I just sat there quietly staring at my hands. Rosalie was crying silently, and the tension in the car was so beyond strong. That sad thing though is that things have been like this for a while now. I knew it was only a matter of time before mom blew up at one of us, I was just hoping that it wouldn't be me.

**Esme POV**

I can't believe I just did that. I just did the one thing that I told myself I would never do. Back when we first adopted Edward I made myself promise that no matter how stressful things got, I would never take it out on my kids, and thats what I just did, I blamed Alice for all the things that weren't her fault. She should be allowed to cry because we're forcing her to go to an all girls school. She should be allowed to be pissed cause she has to wear a uniform. She should be allowed to be a normal teenager who gets angry at us. She shouldn't have to be carrying around all of this stress. Just because Rosalie and Bella have their issues on the side doesn't mean that Alice should have to change her whole life.

Alice looked petrified in the back seat, and I don't blame her. I just said things to her that no thirteen year old should ever have to worry about. She shouldn't have be worrying about getting raped, and whats going on with Bella is not something that I need to hold against Alice at all. I didn't know what to say now though. I just said things that no mother should ever even think about saying, and now I can't take them back.

Six months ago if you told me that this is what my life would be like, I never would have believed you. And I sometimes wonder, if someone had warned me that this is what things would be like, would I still have adopted Bella? I know it makes me sound like a horrible person, but I would have had to think about my family. I mean tearing my kids away from the only life they know, making them all start new schools this late in the year, seeing how upset and miserable Alice and Rosalie are...I mean I don't know. Of course what happened to Rosalie has nothing to do with Bella, but still, a little part of me always wonders...

I never let my self think that way seriously though, because the reality is that we do have Bella, and I love her to death, even with everything going on. I can't be worrying about the what ifs, its a waste of my energy. Bella needs me now. She needs someone to protect her and help her, and I have to be that person. And not to mention my five other children who need my attention as well. While Rosalie is finally back on the right path, Alice is starting to get into some trouble. Not much, but there are little things that I've been noticing, and I want to help her, to be there for her, I want to talk to her, but I feel like with all of the other stresses, Alice just keep slipping through the cracks.

How could I have let things get this bad? I'm their mother, I was supposed to be there for them, and I wasn't. For the first time in my life I feel like I truly failed.

**Alice POV**

I didn't dare say anything else the rest of the way there. Mom looked furious, and after what just happened I don't want to upset her more.

When we got to Westside Uniforms Rosalie and I silently followed mom into the store.

"What school?" The lady behind the counter asked.

"Saint Mary's." Mom's voice was cold and hard. The lady looked at as pitifully, then turned towards the racks.

"Follow me." She instructed. We walked down an isle of hideous clothes until we finally stopped at a rack marked 's. I almost puked as the lady pulled out some items.

"Try these." She dumped a pile of clothes into my arms and pointed me in the direction of the fitting rooms. I fought back the tears and went to try the stuff on.

Once the door to the change room was locked I allowed my self to cry again. The tears kept coming as I put on the white dress shirt, green vest, the navy and green plaid tie, navy and green plaid kilt, and the navy blazer. As I stared at my self in the mirror I couldn't stop crying. The cast on my arm was a symbol of how shitty my life has become and the hideous uniform is a symbol of all of the lame changes that are happening. What did I do to deserve this? Nothing. I've never done anything _this _bad. And of course I feel bad for Rose and Bella, but I don't understand why I'm the one being punished. Just because my sisters have their issues doesn't mean that I shouldn't be allowed to be a normal thirteen year old.

"Alice?" I heard mom call. I quickly sobered up and stepped out of the dressing room. "You look very nice. Both of you do." Rosalie was standing next to me dressed exactly the same. Mom turned to the sales lady, "We'll take two sets in each size and two sets of gym clothes in each size as well."

As we were walking back out to the car mom turned and looked at me, and for the first time I saw how much sadness was hiding in her eyes. I guess I never realized how hard this must be for her too. "Thanks for being such a good sport Alice." She said quietly.

I just nodded. I was too scared to say anything else in fear of being yelled at again. Nobody in my family ever used to yell, we were all so calm. But now it feels like that's all everyone ever does. Mom yells at us, dad yells at us, we yell at each other, we yell at mom and dad, and if we're not yelling, then we're crying. Yelling and crying, thats all we really do anymore.

As soon as we got back home I went straight to my room. Sometimes I think about running away. Just packing up my bags and getting as far from my stupid family as possible. When I'm alone, which is all the time now, I like to think about the what if's. What if my birth mom had kept me. What if I had ended up with a different family. What if we never adopted Bella. What if Bella wasn't pregnant. What if Rosalie hadn't been raped. What if I got raped. What if I ran away. And the what if that's been crossing my mind the most lately, what if I didn't exist. What would happen if I was dead.

I've thought about it. I truly have, but I've never really thought seriously about it. Things are bad now, but I have to believe that they will get better. Five years from now I will be on my own, as far from this hell hole as I want to be. Even on days like this I have to keep optimistic. I hate this feeling though. I hate how much pain I'm in, yet I can't see the reason. Sometimes I think about cutting my self. Just so I can have a legit reason to be in pain, but I never go through with it. Instead, when I'm feeling like this I sneak into the liquor cabinet and drink until I forget why I'm upset.

**Bella POV**

School is something that I have always hated. Being in the foster care system I usually moved schools every year, if not more often. Because I moved around so often I never really had any real friends. I kept in touch with a few girls, but I never really met anyone that I could truly connect with. And then at Forks High I had friends for about a month, and then as soon as news of my pregnancy spread nobody would really talk to me. I guess I don't really blame everyone for not liking me, I mean nobody could relate to me, nobody could understand what I was going though.

I can tell though that the girls here get it. I've only been at the Jean Louise School for less than two hours, but already I can tell that I'm going to love it.

Here I can relate to everyone, and it feels great. When I walked into my first class nobody gave me dirty looks or made rude comments, instead everyone welcomed me with open arms. They understood _exactly _what I was going though.

I walked into my first class this morning, and within twenty minutes I had like ten new friends. It felt amazing. For the first time in my life, despite my dark past and my huge stomach, I actually feel _normal _and I can't even begin to explain how good that feels.

"How far along are you?" A blonde girl sitting next to me asked, "Oh, and I'm Jenna by the way."

"Twenty five weeks." I smiled. "And I'm Bella." Nobody besides my family had ever really showed an interest in my pregnancy before. "How about you?" She didn't look like she could be more than a couple of weeks in.

"Ten weeks."

"Hi!" A tall girl with brown hair smiled as she sat down next to us. "I'm Dani. You must be Bella."

"Hi. Yeah, I am." I smiled.

"How far in?"

"Twenty five weeks. You?"

"I had my daughter, Adeline, last summer." She reached into her bag and pulled out a picture of a smiling baby. "This is her."

I couldn't help but smile. "She's so cute. I'm having a girl too."

"Have you thought of any names yet?" Dani asked.

"A little bit..." I bit my lip. "My mothers name was Renee, so I'd like to somehow fit that into her name. I'm really not sure yet though."

"You guys are _so _lucky." Jenna whined, "I have to wait like two and half more months till I find out the sex." She pouted.

"What names to do you like?" I asked her.

"For a boy Hunter, or maybe Harley or Bentley or something like that and for a girl Whynter or Asia or Olivia."

"Those are...different names."

"My mom says I should stick with something more generic like Katherine or Madison or Caitlyn or Ryan or Daniel or something, but I want my kid to have a totally off the track name."

"Thats sweet. I want my daughter to have a unique name too, something that really has a meaning to it." I explained. "Something special."

"That makes sense." Dani nodded. "Adeline's middle name is Rose, after my grandmother."

"Adeline Rose," I repeated, "Thats such a cute name."

"Thanks." Dani giggled, "It took me _forever _to finally settle on a name."

"Good morning class." The teacher said, interrupting our conversation. "I hope everyone had a great weekend and is ready to get back to work. Before we start though I have a couple of announcements. First of all Laila had her baby on Saturday. A healthy baby boy, Jordan James." There were a few quiet whispers and then the room was quiet again, "And second, we have a new student joining us, Isabella Cullen. She and her family just moved here from Forks, so I hope that you all make her feel very welcome."

Everyone turned and smiled at me. And even though I don't really know any of the girls, I know that we will probably all be good friends, because except for out families, which I bet some of these girls don't even have, we are all each other has. We have all been ostracized from the rest of the teenage population. We are the fuck ups. The misfits. The misunderstood. And that brings us all together.

**Alice POV**

I woke up in the morning with a wicked bad hangover, but I couldn't let my mom know so I threw back a handful of advil and started my day. I got dressed in my hideous uniform and made my way down to the kitchen. Mom was at the counter making her coffee, Bella was already gone, on her way to her new school. Emmett and Edward were on their way out and Jasper was sitting at the table eating his breakfast.

"Nice uniform." He cracked a smile.

"Just shut the fuck up." I snapped. I was in no mood for anyone to say anything to me today,

"Alice!" Mom yelled. "Watch your mouth."

"You," I glared at her, "Are _not _one to be talking,"

"Mary Alice Cullen!" She started to yell, but then she shut her mouth. "We're leaving in ten. Be ready."

"I hate you." I muttered then I grabbed a box of cereal. "I hate this whole stupid family."

I ate my cereal in silence. Jasper quickly finished then disappeared, leaving me alone with my thoughts and my headache.

**Edward POV**

Emmett and I left a lot earlier then we needed to, but we both agreed that we needed out of that house. I don't think I have ever seen a family as fucked up as ours. All anyone in our family does anymore is yell or cry. Although the crying is usually just from the girls. Emmett, Jasper and I have tried to just stay off to the side. Emmett and I are old enough now to take care of our selves. I mean, he'll be graduating this year and I'm graduating next year and then I'll be off on my own. Jasper's always been very independent and responsible. He knows right from wrong, and even if mom and dad aren't always watching over him, he still makes good decisions. It's Alice that I'm most worried about. Mom and dad are so focused on Bella and Rosalie that Alice is sort of just slipping through the cracks. Sure Alice is smart, but she's at an age where she needs guidance, and at the moment no one is there to give it to her.

"So how are things with you and Bella?" Emmett asked.

"Things are good. She's been really upset lately, with Kyle's call and everything, but so far everything between us is great." Not to sound all high and mighty or anything, but I think it's good that Bella has me right now. I'm someone that she can rely on, someone who is always there for her, and I think that I'm really good for her.

"That great. I'm really happy to hear that," Emmett smiled, "She's lucky to have you."

**Alice POV**

The ride to school was silent. Mom and I still weren't on good terms and Rosalie just sat there quietly. "Well, here you go." Mom said as she pulled up in front of the school. Saint Mary's is a fairly big school with a modern campus and a sprawling front lawn. Groups of girls in the same ugly uniforms were walking into the building. "Good luck." Mom smiled as we climbed out of the car.

"Whatever." I muttered, slamming the door behind me. I didn't bother waiting for Rosalie as I stomped towards the school. The inside of the school was huge, and I wasn't sure how anyone expected me to find my way around.

Finally I found the main office. "I'm new here." I told the receptionist, "My name is Alice Cullen and I'm in the seventh grade."

"Of course." She smiled politely as she printed off a pile of papers. "Here's your schedule, a map of the school and your locker number and combo. If you have any questions please don't hesitate to ask."

"Thanks." I tried to sounds sincere. I looked at the locker number and saw that it was in the 200's, which probably means that it's upstairs. I followed the rows of lockers until I found mine then dumped all of my shit into it. My first class was math in room 370. Yet another flight of stairs to climb.

Once I found my class I chose a desk in the far back corner and stuck in my headphones. The last thing I needed was for one of these girls to try and talk to me.

Groups of girls started filing into the room and by the time the bell rang the class was full of girls in navy blazers and plaid kilts. Luckily for me the teacher skipped all the introduction crap. "Alice Cullen will be joining our grade. Please be nice." Was all she said before moving on. The morning dragged on forever, each class going slower then the one before it. I wouldn't say that the girls here were mean exactly, but none of them were overly friendly. At lunch I walked into the cafetiria looking for an open table, but I couldn't see any.

"Alice!" I heard someone call. I turned around and saw a blonde girl waving me over. "Hi." She said as I approached her table. "I'm Lauren, you're in my math a history class."

"Right." I smiled even though I didn't remember her.

"Do you want to sit with us?" She asked.

"Uh, sure." I sat down in the empty chair between a brunette and a red head.

"I'm Robin." The red head said, "And that's Emily." She pointed to the brunette.

"Nice to meet you." I smiled again. All of the girls were eating either school lunches or brown bagged lunches, but I had neither. I was too out of it last night to think of making a lunch and mom hadn't given me any money to buy.

"Aren't you hungry?" Emily asked. I just shook my head.

"Nah, I had a huge breakfast." That was the first lie I told at my new school, but definitely not the last. One thing that I learnt very quickly is that it's always best to just tell people what they want to hear. Nobody wants to hear the real truth, they just want to hear the clean and quick one.

**Esme POV**

The kids had been in school for three days now and from what I can tell things are going okay. The boys all seem to be adjusting fine and I've never seen Bella happier. So far Rosalie is doing really well too. I think that a new setting was just the thing she needed. The only one still not doing great is Alice. I honestly can't remember the last time I saw her smile.

She won't talk to me about anything anymore. She comes home, hides in her room, eats dinner with us then locks her self in her room all night. I want her to know that I'm here for her, but she won't listen to me. Not that I really blame her considering how I've been treating her.

Thursday afternoon I decided to surprise Alice and take her to get her cast removed. I came into the school at lunch and asked them to page her for me. She came into the office looking sullen and miserable. "What?" She asked when she saw me.

"Get your stuff." I told her, "I'm taking you out."

She sighed and rolled her eyes then walked out of the office returning five minutes later with her bag.

"Where are we going?" She whined.

"I think you and I need some time just for us." I tried to keep my voice light. I first took her out for lunch to her favorite restaurant.

"I feel like you and I never talk anymore." I told her as we sat down in our booth.

"I don't have anything to say." She snapped. She glared up at me and I saw that her eyes were cold and angry. Who is this girl? She is certainly not the Alice I know. My Alice was sweet and bubbly and outgoing. Everything that this kid is not.

"How is school?" I prompted.

"Shi--It sucks." She said. "I hate it." She kept her eyes glued to the table.

"Have you met any girls?"

"A few. But we aren't like friends or anything." She started biting her nails.

"Alice." I said seriously, "I know that I've been busy lately, but you know that I'm here right? You can tell me anything."

"No, I can't." I was surprised at her honesty. "I can't tell you anything." Her voice was sharp.

"What makes you think that?"

"Because, if I were to like say that I didn't really have any good friends, you would probably just like say, _oh Alice, you should just be glad that you weren't raped._" It sounded like she was about to cry, but hr eyes remained cold. I didn't know what to say back. I wanted to tell her that of course that wasn't true, except it sort of was. Last time she tried to be upset I just yelled at her, so no wonder she feels like she can't come to me about the little things any more. It's because I've robbed her of the chance to just be a normal teenager.

"Alice--" I tried to reach for her hand but she pulled away.

"Just forget it. I'm fine. Everything is fine. I'm totally happy." I knew she was lying but I didn't say anything else on the matter.

We ate lunch in an uncomfortable silence then I took her to the hospital to get her cast removed.

"I bet you're glad thats off, huh?" I asked trying to keep things light. I know that I've messed up and that she probably won't forgive me anytime soon, but a mother can try, right?

"That was last things tying me to Forks." She muttered. Her voice was cynical and to be honest I was sick of it. I wanted my old Alice back. I hated this new sarcastic teenager. I wanted my baby girl back. She sighed loudly and rolled her eyes and I felt like yelling at her again, but I bit my tongue. She could be bitter if she wanted to be. It was her choice. I can at least let her be miserable if she so desires.

"Thanks for lunch." She said as she got out of the car. And before I could even say 'you're welcome' she was gone. My baby girl was gone, off on her own in the adult world.

**So I hoped you liked that chapter! AND PLEASE REVIEW! If you review I will send you a snippet of the next chapter. So yeah, REVIEW PLEASE!!!!!!!!!!!**

**Also, for anyone who actually cares, I am posting a little...blurb...about where I got the inspiration for this story. I know that things are getting heavy and that it seems like everything that can go wrong for the Cullen's is going wrong, but I hope that you will all keep reading. Things can only go up from here, right? So, if you care to read, here is my blurb...:**

_**[Alright, so as you have all probably noticed, this story is getting very heavy and there is a lot shit going on with all of the girls. I just want you all to know that this story is going somewhere, and I will not leave you with any loose ends. Some of you might be thinking thats it's unrealistic that the family has this many problems, but this is all based of real events. About seven months ago my seventeen year old sister told us that she was pregnant. Now, obviously none of you know Molly, but this wasn't exactly a complete surprise (to put it nicely). Molly had a lot of issues to start, like drinking, drugs ect so when she first told us she was pregnant my parents sent her to a rehab type place (much like the one Rosalie went to) to help her get clean and sober for the baby. During this time all of my parent's energy was focused on Molly, and me and my younger sister (who was just shy of fourteen at the time) started falling through the cracks. Luckily for me I had a great group of friends to support me, but Bailey wasn't as lucky. Much like Alice and Rosalie in my story, Bailey started sneaking alcohol and stopped eating and all that type of stuff. Luckily Bailey got help, but for a few months my family was a complete gong show. It felt like EVERYTHING was going wrong. Problems are like dominos. When one thing goes wrong it sort of sets off a chain reaction and everything starts going wrong. So I guess the moral of my little rant is to please, just keep reading. Don't give up on the story. Things might seem bad now, they will get better. **__**haha yeah I've been saying that a lot in my story, but it is true...**__**]**_

**AND AGAIN, PLEASE PLEASE REVIEW!!!!!!**

**Love Alice .**


	18. Week 26&27

**Hey everyone! Sorry i didn't post sooner. School+life=Nuff said. Also, this chapter ended up being longer than I had thought, so the little snippet that I sent out last time didn't make it into this chapter, but it will be a big part of the next chapter!**

**And DON'T FORGET TO REVIEW!!**

**Disclaimer: Sad Face. End. **

**Week 26-April 20**

It had been two weeks since Kyle had called and I hadn't heard anything since then. I was just beginning to think that maybe the whole thing had blown over when I got a phone call from his lawyer.

"Isabella?" A very official sounding voice on the other end of the phone said.

"Yes...? Uh, who is this?"

"My name is Derek Zyley. I represent Kyle Morgan."

"Oh." My voice got lost in my throat. "Um...so, whats happening?" I tried to stay calm.

"Kyle feels like he is entitled to shared custody of your daughter."

I felt like I couldn't breath. "I don't think I should be talking to you." I finally said. "If you give me your number I'll have my lawyer contact you." I didn't have a lawyer, but I sure as hell wasn't staying on the phone with this ass hole. I scribbled down his number then fell back onto my bed. I couldn't let Kyle take my baby, even if it was just for a few days every couple of weeks. Kyle is a monster, and he deserves to rot in prison, not be around _my _daughter.

I pushed my self off of the bed and went over to the boys' rooms. I couldn't be alone right now, I needed Edward.

Edward was sitting at his desk studying what appeared to be math. "Hi." I said quietly as I sat down on his bed.

"Hi." He spun around and kissed me softly. "How are you?"

I motioned for him to come sit next to me on the bed. All of this shit with Kyle makes me realize how much I love Edward. The more I hate Kyle the more head over heels I become for Edward.

"I love you so much." I told him as I wrapped myself around him.

"I love you too Bella." He held me close and rubbed my back softly. When I'm with Edward I feel so...safe. Like nothing could ever go wrong.

"You know we have the house to our selves." I whispered. Edward and I had been dating for over four months, but we still hadn't slept together yet. With any other guy I wouldn't have even hesitated, but Edward is different. He's special, and I don't want to ruin our relationship because we rushed into having sex. Of course we've done other stuff, but we wanted our first time together to be something special.

At this moment though I felt like I was ready to be with Edward totally and completely. Seeing how much he cares about me, and how sweet he is...I just have this feeling that today is the day.

Edward caught on immediately and went to lock his door. "Are you sure?" He asked walking back over to the bed. I nodded.

"Positive."

Time seemed to stop for us, and the moments lasted for hours. Edward was gentle and caring, mindful of the baby and my huge stomach. He didn't rush into it like most of the other guys I've slept with have. He made sure that I was taken care of, something none of the other guys ever bothered to think about. With Edward though something was different. He wasn't just some guy I was fucking just to hear him say I love you. He was so much more than any guy I had ever been with. Edward was...Edward. I'm not sure if there's really any other way to describe him.

"I love you." He whispered.

"I love you too." I panted. I had heard these words so many times before, but this time when he said I love you it felt different. It felt real. Like I was finally doing things for the right reason.

**Edward POV**

Being with Bella gave me such a rush. You know that feeling you get when you're doing something wrong, that feeling of utter thrill? That's what it feels like when Bella and I are together, except we're not doing anything wrong, because something that feels so right could never be wrong.

Bella is hands down the most exciting person I've ever met. Growing up in Forks you don't meet a lot of exciting people. And even if they are a cool person, you've known them too long to feel that sense of thrill. Bella though, Bella is a totally different story. I can't imagine my life without her.

Even with all that bad stuff thats going on, Bella is worth it. I wouldn't trade anything for her. I love her far to much to ever be away from her.

**Bella POV**

A few days after the call from Kyle's lawyer I decided to approach Esme about getting a lawyer for me too.

"Esme." I knocked on her office door softly. "I need to ask you something."

"What is it?" She looked at me, and I could tell from her tired eyes that she was stressed. Because of me. And I was about to pile more shit on her.

"I got another call from Kyle's lawyer, and he seems really adamant on getting Kyle shared custody and I was wondering if it would be possible for me to get a lawyer too." I spoke quickly, feeling bad that I was asking her to do yet _another _thing for me.

Esme nodded. "He called again?" She asked.

"His lawyer."

"Well I guess I'll have to talk to Carlisle about finding you a lawyer too." She tried to sound sincere, but I could tell that she wishes this was just over with.

"Thanks. I'm really sorry." I hated the amount of trouble I was causing this family.

"You have nothing to be sorry about Bella." She stood up and hugged me tightly.

"He's not gonna get her, right?" I asked into her neck. The thought of Kyle anywhere near my daughter was sickening.

"I'm going to do everything in my power to make sure that doesn't happen." She promised.

"Thanks." I said again.

"I'll talk to Carlisle as soon as he gets home and we'll get started right away."

"Kay," I nodded, "Sounds good. I have Kyle's contact information if you need it."

I copied down the numbers for Esme then went back up to my room. I wish this part of my life was over. I just want to time to skip forward a year to when I have my baby, Kyle is gone, and life is somewhat normal.

I sat down and tried to study but the loud screeching music coming from Alice's room was making it hard to focus. Alice has changed so much over the past month or so, and not in a good way. When I first came here Alice was cute and innocent and a genuinely good kid. Lately though she has been a lot angrier and moodier and she looks really different. I know that she's thirteen and that most teenagers go through their fazes, but I can't help but blame myself a little bit. Esme and Carlisle have had so much to deal with regrading that baby and me and stuff and Alice just seems to be slipping through the cracks.

"Alice!" I shouted, banging on her door. "Alice!" I waited for a few second then threw open the door. "Alice!" I screeched. Still no response. I went over and turned her music off.

"Hey!" She called from the bathroom. "I was listening to that."

"You're not the only person in this house. Some of us are_ trying_ to do homework." I couldn't help but sound really annoyed.

"Well _sorry_." She snapped coming out of the bathroom.

"What the fuck did you do?" I gasped when she walked into the room. Her spiky hair was electric blue and there was a metal stud in the bottom right corner just below her lip. "Shit Alice. What the fuck?"

"Do you like it?" She beamed. "Lauren pierced my lip and I did hers. We're gonna go get actual rings tomorrow."

A girl with blonde and pink hair came out of the bathroom. She had an identical stud below her lip. "I'm Lauren." She smiled. "You must be Bella."

"Jesus fuck, Esme is gonna kill you."

"She's too busy dealing with you and the baby to care what I'm doing." Alice spat. And I knew she was sort of right. Between me and Rosalie, Carlisle and Esme had their hands full.

"Just don't do anything stupid...er." I warned. "And keep the music down." I stomped out of her room slamming the door behind me.

**Alice POV**

(Half an hour earlier)

"Do you like it?" I asked Lauren as she studied her new hair in the mirror. Lauren was spending the weekend with me and we decided to do makeovers. Not like the little kid ones though, we wanted real makeovers.

I needed a new look because I'm not the same girl I was before. I'm not good girl Alice anymore, I'm unloved-less-important-than-Bella-and-Rosalie-we-don't-have-time-to-deal-with-her Alice now, and she looks a lot different than the other Alice.

"Wow." Lauren smiled, "I love it!" Her hair was now pink and blonde and my was electric blue. It looked good, definitely different, but it didn't feel like enough.

"Do you want to pierce our lips?" I asked her, pressing my tongue against my lip.

"Uh..." Lauren looked at me hesitantly, "I don't know Alice..."

"C'mon." I urged, "It'll be _so _cool."

"I might scream." She giggled. "I don't want your mom to hear."

I went into my room and turned on my stereo. Loud metal music filled the room. "There." I smiled. "She'll never hear us now."

"Alright." Lauren said slowly, "I'll do you first though, kay?"

I nodded then fished through the drawers until I found my pack of silver studs. Then I opened the cabinet and found the alcohol that Rosalie cleaned her ears with when she first got them pierced a few years ago.

"Rosalie has a sewing kit in here somewhere." I muttered as I fished through her drawers. "Ah ha!" I pulled out the bag and got two needles.

"Okay." I said setting everything out on the counter. "So, first we need to clean the needle and the earrings in alcohol, then you just stick the needle through the skin, pull it out then put in the earring. Tomorrow we can go buy rings, because they look _way _better than studs."

"Um, alright." Lauren picked the needle and the alcohol. "So I just clean this," She said wiping the needle clean, "Then just, stick it through?"

"Mhmm." I nodded. I had little butterflies in my stomach. I wasn't scared exactly, more just excited.

"K-kay..." She stepped towards me. "Ready?" I nodded. She pulled on my lip with one hand and slowly forced the needle through my skin with the other. I shut my eyes tightly. "Does it hurt?" She asked pulling the needle back out.

I shrugged my shoulders as if to say so-so. She wiped the blood off of my mouth then put the stud in.

I turned to look at my self in the mirror. Perfect. "Your turn."

Lauren whimpered a little, but she didn't scream. Once we were both done we looked in the mirror.

"We look hot." I smiled.

"I'm so glad you came to Mary's." Lauren giggled, "My life used to be _so _boring, but now that I've met you things are way more fun."

All of a sudden the music turned off. "Hey!" I called, "I was listening to that."

"You're not the only person in this house. Some of us are trying to do homework." Bella called back, sounding really annoyed.

"Well sorry." I snapped coming out of the bathroom.

"What the fuck did you do?" She gasped when I walked into the room. She looked my up and down. "Shit Alice. What the fuck?"

"Do you like it?" I beamed. "Lauren pierced my lip and I did hers. We're gonna go get actual rings tomorrow." I twirled around so she could get the full effect of my new hair.

Lauren came out of the bathroom and Bella looked at her then sighed. "I'm Lauren." She smiled. "You must be Bella."

"Jesus fuck, Esme is gonna kill you." Bella's face was all red.

"She's too busy dealing with you and the baby to care what I'm doing." I spat. I could tell by the look on Bella's face that she knew I was right.

"Just don't do anything stupid...er." She warned. "And keep the music down." She stormed out of the room, slamming the door behind her.

"I like your sister." Lauren said.

"Yeah she's pretty cool. She's been getting into this whole motherly mode lately though, and it's kind of gay."

Lauren shrugged. "We all have our shit."

"I'll drink to that." I said pulling out a bottle of vodka from under my bed.

**Week 27-April 27**

**Esme POV**

The weekend was relatively quiet. Carlisle and I found a lawyer for Bella and set up a meeting for the week of May 11th.

The kids all seemed to have plans this weekend, which I was very thankful about. Edward and Emmett had gotten jobs at the nearby Target, Jasper had joined the local baseball team, Rosalie was taking ballet, Bella was out with some friends from school and Alice had a friend staying here.

Just when I thought that things were okay, Alice and her friend walked into the kitchen.

Her friend smiled widely and shook my hand. "Hi Mrs Cullen, I'm Lauren." I shook her hand robotically and nodded. What had they done?

The both had brightly colored hair, Alice's blue and Lauren's pink. And on the bottom left corner of their lips were silver rings.

"Ohmygod." I breathed, "Alice, what did you guys do?"

"Doesn't it look cool?" She beamed. "We did it ourselves."

"Ohmygod." I repeated. My thirteen year old daughter had electric blue hair and a lip ring and she had done it all under my roof. "Alice..." I looked her her friend. The girl looked so happy. This was all my fault. My daughter had gotten her little catholic friend to dye her hair and pierce her lip.

"Ohmygod." I said one more time. I was definitely going down as worst mother _ever. _"Alice!" I could feel my face turning red. "Carlisle!" I called. I turned to the girls. "Sit down." I ordered. I was all flustered and probably sounded crazy. They looked at each other then sat down at the island.

"Yes?" He asked coming into the kitchen.

"Look at them." I whispered, pointing to the girls.

He looked at the girls then turned back to me. His eyes were wide. "When...?"

"In her room." I muttered. I had no clue what to do. Who was more at fault here? Her for being so irresponsible or me for not paying more attention? Was this a cry for help? Was she trying to tell us something?

"Her mother is going to kill us..." I moaned. "No child will ever be allowed to come back over here."

"You girls stay here." Carlisle instructed, "We'll be right back." Carlisle grabbed my arms and dragged me up to his office.

"What do we do?" I asked. "This is our Alice...she used to be so..."

"I know. But we need to stop this now. No TV, no cell phone, no music, no computer unless it's for homework and under our supervision. No friends over or going out."

"For how long?"

"Start with a month."

I nodded. "Alright. And what about her hair and lip?"

"Let her keep it. It's not that bad, I suppose." He shrugged. "But we need to make sure that she knows that what she did was wrong."

We sent Alice up to her room and I drove Lauren home.

That night we gave Alice her punishment, and after about an hour of crying she finally handed over her stuff.

"I hate you." She yelled as she practically whipped her phone at me. I grabbed her wrist and pulled her into a hug.

"I'm really sorry Alice."

Looking at my baby girl with her horrible hair and a chunk of metal on her lip is pretty much proof that I've failed her.

"It's not your fault." She lied. "I just needed a change. I needed something new."

"I get it." I nodded. "Just please, be smart Alice. Don't get your self into any trouble. You are such a great kid."

"Thanks mom. So can I keep my phone?"

I kissed the top of her blue head. "No."

***

That night Carlisle and I sat down and I dialed Lauren's number. "Hi there Mrs DuBois, this is Esme Cullen, Alice's mother."

"Oh." Her voice was flat.

"I just wanted to call you about what Lauren and Alice did this weekend. I wanted to apologize. I had no clue what was going on until it was too late."

The line was silent for a few seconds. "That's what Lauren told me. I was going to call you but she said that her and Alice had done it in her bedroom and that they didn't tell you."

"I was keeping an eye on them." I told her, which was partly true. "It just happened so fast. One minute they were watching a movie and then the next minute they had colored hair and..."

"I understand Mrs Cullen. Lauren also told me that you have a lot going on at your house."

"Well..." I looked up at Carlisle. "I suppose."

"If you need, Alice can stay with us for a few days."

"Well thank you, but Alice is alright here."

"Are you sure? Lauren said that you guys don't go to church."

"Uh...we aren't very religious."

"Listen, Mrs Cullen, I don't mean any offense, but I really think that it would be good for Alice to stay with us for a while. With your other daughter--the pregnant one--I just think Alice needs to be in a better environment."

I could feel my self filling with anger. "Excuse me?" I spat. "Alice is doing just fine here!"

"Lauren never used to act this way before she met Alice." She accused.

"Listen, Mrs DuBois, I was calling to apologize to you, but I can see now that you don't deserve it. Have a good night!" I slammed down the phone.

The room was silent for a full minute. "She's right." I finally said. "Alice isn't doing that great."

"She's fine." Carlisle insisted. "All teenagers go through their fazes. She'll be back to normal soon."

"God, I hope so. I can't wait for _everything _to be back to normal again."

**Hey everyone! So I really hope that you liked it! Please review! Good or bad, I want to hear it! Even just a word or two is much appreciated!! So yeah, review!! Thanks everyone!!**

**Love Alice **


	19. Week 28

**Hey everyone! I wanted to update sooner but this past week has been crazy. My sister had her baby on December 8th. Her name is Ella Jayden and she is adorable! I was only two when my little sister was born, so I don't remember much about babies, but so far I have gathered that they are loud. Cute of course, but very loud. Ella sleeps in the same room as Molly right now, which happens to be right next to mine, so I haven't been getting much sleep the past few days. I finally got a chance to sit down and write though, and viola, chapter 19!**

**Week 28-May 4**

**Alice POV**

I love my new hair and my lip. I feel like it suits how I'm feeling so much better than my brown hair did. Lauren said her mom was hella pissed, but somehow Lauren convinced her mom to not make her dye her hair back and take out the ring. Mom and dad weren't that mad either. I mean, yeah, they look away pretty much my whole life for four weeks, but in the end mom was apologizing to me.

So now at school people look at us differently. Not that I blame them, I mean I'm not exactly a role model catholic. A lot of the girls try to avoid me and Lauren, but I don't really care. I don't want to be friends with those girls anyway.

With no phone, computer or TV I don't really have anything to do besides lie on my bed and drink. When I look around my room I'm reminded of how much I've changed in the past month. If you saw my room you'd never guess that it was mine. It has light pink walls and clean white carpet. My bed is black and my duvet is a light pink. Pretty much everything in my room is pink or black, and even though it doesn't really suit me anymore, I still love it. (**A/N-Pictures of all of the bedrooms is on my profile, check em out : )) **

"Alice!" Mom called, "Lights out!"

I stuck the bottle of vodka back under my bed and climbed out of bed. I went into the bathroom and brushed my teeth and was just about to go back to bed when I heard Rosalie talking.

I opened the door to bedroom and stuck my head in. She was kneeled next to her bed. "What are you doing?" I asked.

"Praying." She said as if it should be obvious, which I suppose it was.

"Oh." I felt awkward standing there, like I had interrupted something very private.

"You should try praying too Alice. Maybe then God will help you find your way again." She turned her head upwards and her lips starting moving again. I frowned and then went back into my room. I don't need help finding my way. I know my way just fine.

***

The next morning at school Lauren found me right away at my locker. "Did you hear?" She asked. "About that party down at Alki Beach tomorrow night?"

"No. What is it?" I asked getting my math textbook.

"It's just like a big bonfire and stuff. A whole bunch of the high school kids are going. I heard my sister talking about it." Lauren's sister Abigail goes to the same high school as Emmett and Edward, except she's a sophomore.

"That sounds sweet." I shut my locker and we started towards the math wing.

"Yeah. Have Edward or Emmett mentioned it?"

"I'm not sure. I don't really talk to them much."

"We so have to go though." Lauren insisted. "We can go to the mall after school and get new bathing suits and skirts and then we can go to the beach from my house."

I nodded quickly, "That'll be awesome." I'd never been to a real party before. I mean sure Lauren and I drank all the time in my room, but I'd never actually been to a high school party before.

I had trouble paying attention for the rest of the day, I was so excited. After school mom took Lauren and me back to the house.

"We're gonna have to get our own booze." Lauren said. "I already checked my house and there's nothing I can bring."

"Me neither." I said, "Mom and dad are starting to get suspicious I think. I can only pin it on Emmett and Edward for so long."

We sat in silence for a few minutes, "Oh my God," I said slapping my forehead, "It's _so _obvious. We'll just a get a boot."

"A what?" Lauren looked confused.

"Omg duh. Bella said that's how she used to get drinks." I stood up and raced over to my closet. "Here. Put this on." I threw a short denim skirt and a baby blue low cut halter at her. I got dressed in almost the same thing except my shirt was red.

Lauren did what she was told. "Now please tell me what we are doing." She whined.

"We're gonna go to the liquor store and get someone to buy the drinks for us." I explained. We snuck down into my moms office and I grabbed a bunch of 20's from her purse. That's one great thing about coming from a family with money: there is always money around.

I stuffed the bills into my bra and led Lauren down to the kitchen. "We're going for ice cream." I called as we headed out the back door.

"Do you need money?" Mom asked.

"No, we're good." I shut the door behind me and Lauren and I ran down the street to the little strip mall near my house.

"Are you sure this'll work." Lauren bit her lip.

"Positive. Bella said that she always used to do this. And she never got caught."

"Okaay..." Lauren nodded, "So how do we do this?"

We stopped in front of the liquor store, "You just stand there and look pretty. I'll do the talking."

She nodded and I waited for the right person to come along. A whole bunch of people passed, but finally I found the perfect guy. He was in his early to mid twenties and very good looking. "Excuse me?" I stepped in front of him.

He looked me up and down and then looked over at Lauren. "Yeah?"

"If I gave you money would you mind getting my friend and I two bottles of raspberry smirnoff?" I smiled and bent over a little bit.

"Err.." He hesitated for a second.

I whipped out the twenties. "Here, I'll pay you..." I counted out five twenties. "A hundred dollars to get us two bottles."

He looked at me, then at the money, then at Lauren and back at the money. "Alright." He finally nodded. "Just wait here."

I handed him the bills and then smiled at Lauren. "See. Piece of cake." The guy came back and gave us our drinks which I tucked into the small backpack I had brought.

We went to get ice cream so my mom wouldn't be suspicious and then ran back to my house. I shoved the bottles into my school bag and Lauren and I started talking about what we wanted to wear tomorrow.

***

Once Lauren was gone and the kitchen was all clean from dinner, I went to find Edward. Him and Bella were lying together on his bed watching some old movie on his TV.

"Hi." I said sitting next to them."

"Hi Alice." Bella smiled back at me. "How are you?"

"I'm great. Edward, are you going to that party tomorrow night?"

"Uh, I think so. Why?"

"Just wondering." I stood back up.

"Alice!" He called, "Why did you want to know."

"I'm going too." I beamed, and before he could say anything to me I ran out of the room, slamming the door on my way out. If Edward was going that means that probably Emmett is going too, which means that all of their hot friends will be there too.

***

Once my parents were asleep I used Rosalie's cell phone (which I had stolen from her room) to call Lauren.

"So what's the plan for tomorrow?" I asked in a hushed whisper. If my parents caught me I would be so dead.

"I'm telling my mom that you and I are going to the mall and then to a movie and then for dinner and then we are going back to your house. You tell your parents the same thing, but just tell them we might not be home till late cause its a ten o'clock movie or something." She said.

"Alright. That sounds good. So are we going to the mall from school?"

"Yeah."

"Kay so I'll bring the drinks with me to school and just keep them in my locker."

"Sounds good." She confirmed. "I have to go now, but I'll see you in the morning."

"Night."

I hung up the phone and quietly put it back in Rosalie's room. I had trouble falling asleep, I was so excited for tomorrow.

***

In the morning I told my mom the plan and luckily she agreed. I packed the bottles into my backpack and my mom dropped us off at school. The feeling of knowing that I was doing something really wrong was so exciting. I rushed to my locker and put the bottles away. Since today was Friday I don't have any of my morning classes with Lauren. First I have history and then spanish and then psychology. I don't exactly like psychology, but I really love my teacher, Miss Reid. She's kind of crazy, but she's the only teacher who really seems to care about me, and I like that. I don't get a lot of attention at home, so when teachers actually seem to care about me, it means a lot.

About halfway through the class there was an announcement that said that everyone must stay in their classes until told otherwise. "What's going on?" Some one asked.

"It's a locker search." Miss Reid said.

"A what?" I leapt out of my chair.

"Three times a year the school does random locker searches looking for anything that isn't allowed."

"They can't do that!" I cried. Of all the days to do a locker search they just _had _to pick the day where I had two bottles of alcohol in my locker.

"Calm down." Miss Reid laughed, "As long as you don't have anything illegal in your locker it'll be just fine."

I sat back down in my desk and buried my head in my arms. Miss Reid kept teaching as if nothing was wrong, except that _everything _was wrong. Oh my God. I was going to go to jail. I was a criminal. I felt like I couldn't breath. I must be dreaming. Why was I so stupid? I'm only thirteen, I shouldn't be drinking.

The next twenty minutes dragged on for ever. Then, finally, another announcement came on.

"Thank you for your patience. Students are free to leave their classes when dismissed." Maybe they hadn't checked my locker, maybe it would be okay, maybe I'm not in trouble. I sighed in relief and smiled.

Just when I thought I was off the hook there was a knock on the door. I looked out the window and my smile disappeared. "Don't open it!" I begged. I could see the guidance councilor standing in the hall. Tears were falling down my cheeks and everyone was staring at me, but I didn't care. "Please!"

"Alice," Miss Reid turned to look at me, "What is going on?"

"I...I..." But it was too late. Miss Reid opened the door and Mrs. Graeme, the guidance councilor came in. I quickly wiped away the tears. I would not let them know that I was upset.

"Good morning Miss Reid." Mrs. Graeme smiled. I'd seen here a few times around school, and so far I really liked her. She looked a lot like the guidance councilor from Glee. Y'know, big eyes, always smiling. "Is Alice Cullen in this class?"

"Yes she is." Miss Reid turned and looked at me. I took a deep breath and gathered my stuff.

"Hi Alice." She smiled widely at me. Why she smiling? They had just found two bottles of vodka in my locker. This was not a time to be smiling.

"Hi." I said quietly. I walked slowly over to the door.

Miss Reid grabbed my arm. "Is everything okay, Alice?"

I shook my head slowly. "No. I had something illegal in my locker." She opened her mouth to say more but Mrs Graeme was already leading me away.

Mrs. Graeme led me out of the class and towards the main office. I wish she would just yell at me already. She was being too nice, and it was scaring me.

I kept my eyes glued to the floor until we got to the office. As I walked in all of the admin looked at me with disapproving glares. Mrs. Graeme led me into the principle's office where Mr Whitely (the principle) was waiting. On his desk was the two bottles of vodka.

"Do these look familiar?" He asked.

"Yes." I nodded. "They're mine."

Mr Whitely and Mrs Graeme looked at each other surprised that I hadn't denied it.

"Possession of alcohol under the age of 21 is against the law." Mr. Whitely told me.

"I know."

"We called your mother and she's on her way." He said. Boy was mom gonna be pissed. Part of me feels sort of bad because I know how stressed out she is already, but the other part of me says that this is her fault in the first place.

I nodded again and stared at my plaid skit. What was going to happen from here? And what about Lauren. Hey, yeah. "What about Lauren?" I asked, looking up.

"What about her?" Mr Whitely asked.

"She was with me when I bought them and she was going to drink them with me."

"They were in your locker Alice." Mrs Graeme said.

"So what, she's just gonna get away with it? Thats bull shit."

"Alice, I know it's unfair, but theres not much we can do."

I rolled my eyes and looked back down at my kilt. I bet mom and dad were going to send me away, just like they did to Rosalie. Except I wouldn't be going somewhere so lovey dovey. I wouldn't have nice caring chaperones like Rosalie did. I would be surrounded by juvenile delinquents. If I don't get arrested that is...

"Am I going to jail?" I finally asked.

"No, Alice, of course not." Mrs. Graeme assured me. "But there will be consequences." I liked the idea of being punished. If someone punishes you it means that they actually care enough about you to pay attention to what you are doing. Of course I don't want to get in a lot of trouble, but just enough to know that someone is paying attention to me is good. God knows mom and dad never care what I'm doing.

"What would lead you to do something like this?" Mr Whitely asked.

I looked at him right in the eyes. "You would do the exact same thing if you lived in my family. You have no clue what I go through on a daily basis. Sometimes I just need a break. I just need to _escape_. Surely you guys must understand that feeling."

They looked at me intensely. "Alice," Mrs Graeme finally said, but I cut her off.

"Let's just have some quiet. The second my mom gets here the yelling will begin, and to be honest it probably won't stop until I move out. So if I could have like, a minute or two of quiet I would _really _appreciate it." I sighed loudly and shut my eyes.

After what felt like eternity there was knock on the door. And so it begins...

**Esme Cullen**

I don't get a lot of time off. I don't get a lot of peace and quiet. And when I do have some down time I like to spend it on my self. Today was one of the days where I had nothing to do so I was just settling down to watch a movie when I got a phone call from Alice's school.

"Hello?" I said picking up the phone.

"Mrs Cullen? This is Grant Whitely from Saint Mary's, I'm calling about your daughter Alice." Oh god, what had Alice done now?

"Yes?"

"During our triannual locker searches we found two bottles of alcohol in your daughters locker."

"Are you sure it was Alice's?" Of course it was Alice. How many seventh grade catholic school girls would be hiding booze in their lockers?

"Unfortunately, yes. We need you to come down to the school right away."

"Of course. I'll be there as soon as I can." I hung up the phone and put on my shoes. As I drove to the school I was fuming. How stupid could that girl be?

I pulled into the parking lot and stomped off to the office. "I'm Esme Cullen. Alice's mother." I told the secretary. She looked at me, her face full of pity and pointed to one of the office doors. I knocked on it and when I walked in I saw Alice sitting there in her little kilt with her disgusting hair and horrible lip ring. Across from her was the principle, and another lady.

"Hi there Mrs Cullen, I'm Mrs Graeme, the schools guidance councilor. Please take a seat." She pointed to the empty seat next to Alice.

"Mom," Alice whispered, "I'm sor--"

"Alice, just be quiet." I snapped. I have had enough of her new attitude. Either she goes back to the old Alice or she is out of the house.

"Mrs Cullen, what happened today was very serious, and can not be taken lightly."

I nodded. "I completely agree."

"We have decided not to notify the police, but we ask that Alice does not return to the school."

I nodded slowly. "Uh, what do you recommend I, or...what should we do?"

"Mrs Cullen, Alice is a great kid, she's just made some bad choices." Mrs Graeme said. "She's at a very tough age and she just needs a little guidance. I don't know a lot about your family or your family situation, but if you could spend a little one on one time with Alice I think it would help."

"Alright. What about school?"

"Well there is always the local middle school, but I think that Alice would only do worse there. There are treatment centers if you are interested in that option, or I can give you a list of public day schools that specialize in troubled teens if you would prefer that option."

I looked at Alice. I remember when she was just a little kid. She had the biggest happiest smile and was always laughing. I never imagined that we would be sitting here. Even with her blue hair and lip ring she is still just a little kid. She's barley 4"7, and when she smiles I can't help but smile too. She has the most vibrant personality and she was never supposed to wind up like this. With Rosalie and Bella what happened wasn't my fault, but letting Alice get this bad was. I knew something was up, but I never had the energy to deal with it. I let her fall through the cracks, and know we will all pay the price.

"Alright, thank you very much. Alice you have until Wednesday to have your locker cleaned out. The school will mail you any documents you will need." Mr Whitely said.

"Good luck Alice. I hope things turn out well for you."

We stood up and walked out of the office. "I'm so sorry mom." Tears were falling down her cheeks. "I never meant for things to get like this."

I didn't know weather to yell at her to apologize to her, so I just wrapped my arm around her shoulder and didn't say anything.

**Bella POV**

After school I went to the movies with a bunch of my friends and when I came home I heard crying and yelling coming from the living room.

I found everyone sitting in the TV room on the boys side upstairs. "Whats going on?" I asked shutting the door behind me. I sat down next to Edward.

Jasper was the one who spoke up. "Alice was kicked out of school?"

"Oh my God!" I gasped. "What did she do?"

"They did a random locker search today." Rosalie said, "And she had two bottles of vodka in her locker. They pretty much kicked her out on the spot."

"So whats going to happen to her?" I kept thinking back to the Alice that was here when I first joined the family. That Alice would never have gotten kicked out of school. In fact, that Alice never would have even thought about drinking.

"We don't know." Emmett said. "They're debating weather to send her to some private school here or to send her to a treatment center."

"They can't send Alice away!" I argued. "Thats what they always do. When that stuff happened to Rosalie they sent her away, when Alice gets in trouble, they send her away. They can't keep running away from their problems!"

"Thats what dad is saying." Emmett said. "He says that sending Alice away would send us the wrong message, that when you have money you don't have to face your problems."

"It might be the best thing for her though." Rosalie said quietly. "It helped me a lot."

I leaned on Edward's shoulder. "I hate this." I whispered. "I miss the old Alice."

"Me too." Everyone agreed.

We sat there in silence until there was a knock on the door. Alice walked in, she had been crying, that was obvious, but the look on her face was totally blank now.

"They mad their decision." She finally said.

"And..." We all said.

"And..."

**CLIFFHANGER! If you guys all review I will post the new chapter tomorrow morning, otherwise you will just have to wait until next weekend to see what happens to Alice! SO REVIEW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!**

**Love Alice ; ) **

**and ps the links to what all the bedrooms look like are on my profile, so check em out !**


	20. Week 29&30

**2 chapters in 24 hours, hawt damn, am I on fire or WHAT? lol. hope you enjoy this chapter and PLEASE REVIEW!!! **

**Disclaimer: Naaaaaaaat SMeyer. **

**Week 29-May 11**

"And..." She sighed, "Mom is going to homeschool me for the rest of this year."

"That's not so bad." Emmett said.

"I guess." Alice sighed sitting down next to me on the couch. She placed her hands on my belly and smiled weakly when the baby kicked. "Mom and I are going away for a week though too."

"Where?"

"Camping in Montana." She moaned. "She says we are going to be totally honest about _everything _with each other.

"When?" Emmett asked.

"We leave the 25th. Mom said she needs to meet with the lawyers for Bella, and then she can focus all of her attention on me for a week." She made a face as if she had just eaten something gross.

"This is for the best." Rosalie told her.

"Whatever." Alice pushed herself off of the couch. "I'm going to bed."

Once Alice was gone we all looked at each other. "What do they have to be honest about?"

Everyone shrugged. "I think Alice has been hiding a lot of stuff." Rosalie said.

"Why?" I asked. "I mean why do you think that?"

"I dunno. I just have this feeling."

We all sat there in silence for a while. Finally I stood up. "I have to be up early, so I'm gonna pack it in. Night."

"Me too." Rosalie stood up and followed me over to our side. "She's gonna be okay, right?"

"Yeah. Her and mom just need to work things out."

Rosalie nodded. "Yeah. I guess you're right. Night." She went into her room and I went into mine. I walked through the bathroom into the nursery. The walls are painted a light pink and the curtains are a light brown. Other than that there isn't really any furniture in it yet. Alice had talked about wanted to pick out the furniture and I don't have the heart to do it without her.

I leyed down on the floor and stared up the ceiling. The school year was coming to an end and I knew that come summer things would really start to change. Emmett will be leaving to university, the baby will be coming, my social life will be over. Kyle's trial, hoping we make it to trial that is, would probably be in early July.

"Bella." Alice was standing in the doorway. She was wearing a baggy sweater and huge sweats. Her eyes were red and swollen and her arms were wrapped around herself. "Will you come sleep with me?"

"Of course." I pushed my self up and walked with Alice into her room. I always feel like I'm in a Barbie dream house when I'm Alice's room, with all the pink.

"Bella, I'm so sorry." She sniffed. "I don't know how things have gotten this bad."

"Alice, drinking isn't that bad."

"I know that." She said, "But I've done other stuff too." We climbed into her bed and I wrapped my arms around her. "Sometimes everything just feels like too much and I..." She stopped mid sentence.

"You what?"

"I can't believe I dropped to this level." She said, more talking to herself than to me.

"What level?"

"I love you Bella." She said and then she was quiet.

"Love you too."

***

When I woke up in the morning Alice was till sleeping. She looked so peaceful, her lips formed a slight smile and her breathing was soft.

I tip toed out of her room and into mine. I peeled off my clothes and stepped into the shower. Today was my meeting with my lawyer and I wanted to make a good first impression. I dried my hair and curled in and then put on my nicest maternity outfit, a black skirt and a white blouse. I did my make up and then went down to the kitchen. It was barely eight, and besides Carlisle, Esme and me, no one was up.

"Almost ready?" Carlisle looked up from his newspaper.

"Yeah." I grabbed a muffin and a glass of orange juice and then went to find my shoes.

The drive to the lawyers office was quiet. I sat in the back seat alone, staring out the window. "Thanks for taking me." I said,

"Of course, Bella." Esme turned around in her seat and smiled at me.

The lawyers office was very nice, and before we were even in her office I had a good feeling about her.

We walked into her office and were immediately greeted by a middle aged blonde woman with a bright smile. "I'm Sophie Grayer, you must be Bella," She shook my hand,

"Mr and Mrs Cullen." She smiled and shook Carlisle and Esme's hands too.

"Thank you very much for meeting with me." I smiled.

"Of course. Here, let's move into my office." She led us into a colorful office and we sat down around a round table.

"So I talked to Mr Zyley and he told me his clients side of the story. From what I heard his story is total bull, and I think that if we put you in front of a jury there is no way he will be granted any sort of custody, and he could possibly face some jail time as well."

"Really?" I would love nothing more than to see Kyle rot in prison.

"I would need all of the details from you though. And you would have to repeat your story over and over again. Are you prepared to do that?"

Was I prepared to do that? Could I really sit there and describe the rape over and over again? I had to though, for my baby.

"Yes." I nodded firmly.

"Alright then Bella. I have Kyle's statement here." She patted a blue folder. "I need to get yours and then I can compare them, alright."

I nodded again. She pulled out a pen and a piece of paper. I looked at Carlisle and Esme. They had never heard the story. All they knew what that I was raped at a party. I took a deep breath and began. I told the exact same story that I had told Laura all those months ago. Ms. Grayer wrote down every world I said and then once I was done she pulled out Kyle's statement.

"Before you read that..." I tried to catch my breath. "I mean, from what I've seen on TV you have to be totally honest with your lawyer, right?"

"Yes. Is there something I need to know?"

"I don't know. I just, I don't want them to think that I was with holding information. Like, I don't know if this is important or not, but just in case Kyle says that I was a slut, which I'm sure he does say, and if he says that I'd have had sex with anyone, well..." I took a deep breath. "It's sorta true. Back then I was kind of a whore. But if Kyle says that I said yes to him, I didn't okay. I didn't have sex with _anyone_. And I only had sex when I wanted to, and that night I definitely did not want to, especially with him. So, yeah. I just..."

"Thank you Bella." She scribbled all of that down. "It's good that you told me that. I need to know everything, weather you think it's relevant or not."

She opened Kyle's folder and pulled out his statement. I can only imagine all the bull shit he said.

"So Bella, one thing that Kyle's lawyer will definitely ask is why you never pressed charges or went to the doctor at the time."

"I was scared of him. Like this kid is huge okay, he would have had no problem beating the shit out of me if I said anything. And then like four days later I found out that I was moving across the country to Forks, and I just thought that this whole thing would be behind me."

"And you never went to the doctor?"

"I went to my gyno in Phoenix before I left, but I always do that before I move homes. I was more concerned that he had given me an STD or something. I never even thought about pregnancy."

"And, if he says that I consented, you know he's lying because a) we didn't use a condom, and I _never _have sex unless he has a condom, and b) my birth control pills had run out a few weeks before and I hadn't renewed them yet. Which I know can be kind of iffy on my part, but trust me, yeah I was a whore, but I was also a safety freak, and no bc plus no condoms for me equals no sex."

"Alright." She capped the lid on her pen. "So I'm going to make copies of these and send them over to Mr Zyley and I'll see if we can work something out. If he sees that his client has no chance of winning he might just drop the case. But I'm hoping I can get us a date in Family court as well as Criminal Court."

"Criminal court?" Esme spoke up.

"Kyle is seventeen. That means he will be tried as an adult."

Good. I hope they lock him away and throw away the key. "Well Bella, Mr and Mrs Cullen, it was very nice meeting you and I'll be in touch later this week. Please don't hesitate to call if you need anything." She handed Esme a business card.

"Thank you very much Ms Grayer."

"No problem Bella. I'm going to do everything in my power to make sure that Kyle doesn't get anywhere near you."

"Thanks."

The three of us went out for lunch after the meeting. I really wanted to ask them about Alice, but it didn't feel like the right time.

Saturday night Edward and I cuddled in his bed watching a movie. I love being around Edward. He always makes me so happy. His hands were wrapped around me and my hands were resting on my belly. The baby would be here soon, only ten more weeks. I talked to Alice today and she said the once her and Esme got back we could go shopping for baby furniture.

Sunday we all just leyed low. It was wet and cold outside and no one really felt like leaving the house. It was the type of day that was meant to be spent drinking hot chocolate in front of a warm fire surrounded by your family. And minus Alice, that's pretty much exactly what we did.

**Week 30-May 18**

Monday morning it really sank in for Alice that she was kicked out of school. She watched as the rest of us went on with our routines as normal, just sort of watching with a zombie like look. Jasper left to catch his bus first and then I left with Edward and Emmett a few minutes later. I wasn't sure what exactly Alice was doing today, but I think she was going to clean out her locker and stuff. I felt so bad for her. She had made some stupids mistakes and now she was really paying the price for it.

Emmett dropped me off in front of my school and I went in and found Jenna and Dani. Jenna's stomach was slowly getting bigger and Dani's daughter, Adeline, was growing crazy fast.

We dropped Adeline of at the day care and then went to homeroom.

"How was your weekends?" Jenna asked.

"It was good. Quiet." Dani said as she sat down. They looked at me and I could feel my face getting red.

"Uh, it was, eventful? Friday my little sister Alice--"

"She's the one with the blue hair, right?" Dani asked.

"Yeah, thats her. Well Friday she was kicked out of school for having vodka in her locker."

"Ohmygod, isn't she like, in the seventh grade?" Jenna's eyes were wide.

"Yeah, I know. So that was friday and then Saturday I met with my lawyer."

"Jesus Bella." Dani said, "What a crazy weekend."

I rolled my eyes. "I know."

"Okay, well I propose that tonight we have a girls night." Jenna beamed. I love being at school and around my freinds. It's like an escape from real life. I guess that's what Alice felt like when she was drunk. Like everything is okay.

"Yes!" That sounded like such a good idea, "You guys can come to my house, and Dani you bring Adeline, it'll be so much fun!"

Jenna and Dani smiled. "Sounds good. I can drive us over since Adeline's seat is in my car."

It's amazing how great friends can make a shitty day so much better.

After school Dani drove us back to my house where Esme and Alice were sitting at the kitchen table with some math book open.

"Esme, this is Jenna, this is Dani, and this is Dani's daughter Adeline. Guys, this is my mom, Esme, and this is my sister, Alice." Alice was wearing a white t-shirt and dark skinny jeans and was scribbling on some loose leaf. I hope she dyes are hair back soon. I can't stand how it looks now. It's so...un-Alice.

"Kay, well let's grab a snack and go up to my room." We grabbed some chips and a bottle of warm milk for Adeline and then ran up to my room.

"I love you room Bella!" Jenna gushed as she fell back on my bed.

"Thanks." I love my room too. It's so...me. I feel like it's the one place I can truly be me.

Dani placed Adeline on the floor and she started to roll around. Adeline is a spitting image of Dani. White blonde hair, big blue eyes, a cute round face.

We spent most of the evening just lounging around, watching TV, gossiping about other girls at school, talking about boys. All the regular teenage girl stuff. It was just what I needed to bring my mind off my crazy family.

The rest of the week passes without incident. Esme set up a meeting with Ms Grayer for Friday at 2:45 but until then not much was really happening. Alice was very quiet, doing the work Esme gave her and pretty much nothing else. Her and Esme were planning on leaving this Sunday for their mother daughter retreat, and I know that she is dreading it. I'm not sure what she has to be honest about, but whatever it is she sure has been doing a good job of hiding it, even from herself from what I can tell.

Friday at 2:45 Carlisle and I were sitting back in Ms Grayer's office with a whole bunch of papers scattered on the table.

"Alright," She said trying to organize a pile of papers, "So I talked to Mr Zyley we came up up with this." She looked down at one of the papers, "Kyle is hell bent on getting shared custody, and even when I offered him the deal that if he dropped his case we wouldn't bring this to criminal court he still refused, so we see no choice other than to go to court.

"Now we lucked out and got court dates for before your due date, which well help a lot with our case. The first trial in family court will be June 9th and the second court date in criminal court is June 29."

I nodded. "So what will I have to do?"

"For family court I will be doing most of the talking, but they very well might ask you to repeat your story, is that alright?" I nodded. "And for the criminal case it will be a lot like what you see on TV. You will be asked a lot of questions and you will have to answer them as honestly as you can while still appealing to the jury. Sound good?"

I nodded again. "Yeah, I think so."

"Alright, so I'll give you a call for when we can meet again and I will start preparing you for court as soon as possible. Both trials will be in Seattle, so that part at least will be easy."

"That sounds good," Esme smiled warmly, "Thank you very much and we'll see you soon Ms Grayer." We stood up and shook her hand again then made our way down to the parking lot.

I couldn't wrap my head around the idea of going to court. I had wanted so bad to put that night out of my head and now it was pretty much my whole life. I hate it. I know I've said it a million times, but I just want this whole nightmare to be over.

**Soo.... did you like it? Haha I know it sucks, but I wrote it in a rush so I could have it up today. The next chapter will be all Alice and Esme, and it will be waay better and there will be lots of hidden secrets so you better review if you want the next chapter!! Thanks for reading and don't forget to review!**

**Love Alice : )**


	21. Week 31 Part 1

**There is no excuse for how long this took, but it's up now, so enjoy.**

**Week 31-May 25**

**Alice POV**

Early Monday morning mom knocked on my door. "Alice! W're leaving in twenty minutes!" She called through the door.

I pulled the blanket over my head and prayed to God that this whole past week was a dream. I did not want to go camping with mom. I did not want to tell her my deepest secrets. Fuck, I didn't even want to admit my deepest secrets to my self. I mean, yeah, I could just not tell her, but I'm a shit poor liar and she'd figure out pretty fast that I was lying.

I had gone over last night what I was going to say to her. I wanted to make sure to word everything in just the right way. I've done some pretty bad stuff, and I'd like to not make things worse.

I rolled out of bed and pulled on a pair of jeans and a big black hoodie, My hair was still electric blue and my lip ring was still in. I layered on the eyeliner and mascara and then grabbed my overnight bag.

Everyone else was already sitting around the table. We used to wait till everyone was down before we ate a meal, but lately it's just free for all. Eat when you can. I pulled out a chair and made a very big deal out of pouring my cereal. I was in a bad mood and I needed to make sure that everyone knew that.

Emmett and Edward were the first to leave. They stood up and grabbed their bags. "Bye." They waved. Edward went over to Bella and gave her a kiss and I felt like puking. I'm not sure what it is about Edward and Bella, but a little part of me doesn't like it. I hate to admit it, but I think it might be partly jealousy.

Bella was the next one to go. Her friend, the one with the baby, came and picked her up. Carlisle left next, leaving just me, Rosalie, Jasper and mom.

We ate in silence for a few minutes until finally I couldn't take it. "I'll be in the car." I muttered. I threw my bowl in the sink, grabbed my bag and dragged it out to the car. This week was going to suck, I could just feel it.

Jasper and Rosalie came out two minutes later then mom followed behind them. We first dropped Jasper off and then Rosalie. "Bye mom." Rosalie smiled, "Bye Alice." She flipped her hair over her shoulder and waved. "Have a nice week. Love you."

As much as I hate to admit it, I miss the old Rosalie. I'd rather have my bitchy older sister than this Jesus loving freak.

"So, uh, where exactly are we going." I asked once we were on the highway.

"You'll see." Mom opened the windows and turned the music up real loud. I sighed in annoyance and stared out the window.

"Just fucking kill me now." I said under my breath. I could totally use a shot of something strong right now. I had promised mom that I wasn't drinking, and I really did want to quit. I mean, after being kicked out of school I was totally ready to knock all of my bad habits. And I did...for a few days.

It's hard though. I feel like I can't function without something in my system. Vodka is like my new best friend. I can only see Lauren in the evenings, so all day I'm on my own. I honestly did want to get better. But I can't. I've only gotten worse. Lauren and I hung out with these high school guys Thursday and I tried my first cigarette and since then I've been hooked. I got some guy to buy a shitwack of smokes from 7-11 for me, and now I can't go more than a few hours without one.

"This is going to be so much fun." Mom smiled so wide I thought her face would crack.

I reached over and turned off the music. "Mom, are you really serious about this? I mean we can turn around right now."

"Alice, you and I need some mother-daughter time." She looked over at me and smiled.

I rolled my eyes so far back I could practically see my brain. I didn't mind spending time with her, it was more the whole telling her my secrets. I hated the idea of her knowing what I did.

"C'mon. Just relax. This will only be harder if you try to resist." She turned the music back on and started mouthing along to some old pop song.

I pulled out my cell phone, which I had gotten back early, and texted Lauren. I was about midway through my message when mom ripped the phone out of my hand. "Mother-daughter time," She said throwing my phone into her purse, "Means not texting our friends back home."

Was she serious. I could hear my pack of cigarettes calling my name from my bag in the trunk. "How much further?" I moaned.

"Just enjoy the ride. It's not too much longer." I turned and looked out the window at the sea of green surrounding us. I thought back to last May and almost started crying. It's insane how fast things change. This time last year Rosalie was normal, I was innocent and smiley, Bella was in Arizona somewhere, not pregnant yet. Our family was so perfect.

"Do you miss it mom." I said quietly. "How things used to be."

She turned the music down so that it was just a quiet hum in the background and started into the distance as if she was deep in thought. "If you asked me this any other day I would say no, of course not. But since we're being honest I'm going to tell you the truth. Which is that yes, I miss it a lot. I don't miss not having Bella, because I love her to death. But I do miss having a normal family. I do miss having two normal teenagers. I miss the old you. And as crazy as it sounds I miss the old Rosalie. I miss the Bella that was first here. I miss actually sleeping at night and not having to worry about you guys. I miss being able to let you go out and not have to worry if you're going to get arrested or something." She took a deep breath. "Sorry." She laughed under her breath, "I guess that's more than you needed to hear."

"No, no." I said quickly. "I guess I never knew..." I hated the idea of worrying my mom. She deserved to be able to sleep at night. She shouldn't have to deal with this.

"Your turn." Mom said.

"Huh?"

"I was honest about my feelings. Now it's your turn. I want into your head."

"Trust me." I muttered, "You don't."

"Alice, just try me."

"I don't even know where to begin." I bit my lip. I sure as hell wasn't jumping right into the dirty stuff.

"Start slow." She suggested. "Like...do you miss how things were?"

"Of course." I said quickly. "I mean, like, yeah. I guess. I miss thinking the world was this happy joyful carefree place."

"The real worlds a bitch, huh?"

I nodded slowly. "Yeah."

I think that this is the most I've talked to mom in the past few months. "Lets talk about Rosalie." I suggested.

I expected her to tell me to mind my own business, but instead she said, "What about her?"

"Her whole new found religion thing."

"I think it's good for her."

"How come she's handling things so good and I'm...not?"

"Rosalie had a very tough bit there at the beginning Alice. She didn't handle things very well at all. Now she's finally found a way of coping that works for her. I can't even begin to imagine whats going on in her head though. I think she is on a very day to day basis and this is her way of making peace with what happened, and if she thinks that God is going to help her then I'm not going to say anything. I'm just glad she's doing okay at the moment. It's very day to day in this family. One day everything is great and the next day things just fall apart. You can never really tell."

I just sat there nodding. I wasn't sure if she was talking to me or to herself, but either way I didn't want to interrupt.

"We're here." She said suddenly as she pulled off the main highway. We drove a little ways down an old dirt road and then stopped in front of a rustic looking cabin.

"Mom, where exactly is here?" I asked looking around. There wasn't really much around us. Just trees and...more trees.

"One of your dads colleagues offered to lend you and I his place for the week. I thought it was a little more civilized than tenting it."

"Good call." I said as I grabbed my bag and made my way to the front door. Mom unlocked the door and I walked in. There wasn't really much to look it. A small kitchen, a couch, a fireplace and a door leading off into what I'm assuming is a bedroom. I kicked off my shoes and walked into the bedroom. There was one queen sized bed, a small dresser and an attached bathroom.

"This is it?" I dropped my bag and walked into the living room. "Where's the TV?"

"This is not a week for TV, this is a week for you and I to talk."

"Are you shitting me." I sighed as I went back into the room. I opened my bag and stuck a pack of smokes into my pocket.

"I'm going for a walk." I said as I pulled on my shoes.

"But..." Moms smile faded, "I thought we were doing so well."

"Fuck, can I not get like ten minutes of alone time. I'll stay close. I just need some air."

I stormed out of the house slamming the door behind me. As soon as I was away from the cabin I lit a cigarette. I walked down the long driveway to the main highway then turned around. It was actually decently nice out and the sky was clear for once. I could see the cabin approaching so I took one final drag and then stomped it out.

"Mom?" I opened the door to the cabin and walked in.

"I'm in the room." She called.

Fuck. I was hoping to change clothes before she smelt me.

"How was your walk?" She asked as I walked into the room. She was lying on the bed reading some magazine.

"Nice." I said making my way to the bathroom.

"Alice!" She gasped before I made it.

"Yeah?"

"Jesus christ, were you smoking?"

"No!" I said defensively. She could tell I was lying though.

"Alice!" She groaned. "Why?"

"Because." I said flatly.

"Alice, I want to help you, but I can't help if you won't talk to me!"

"I don't know why, okay." I snapped. "It just helps."

Mom threw back her head and laughed. "It's not funny." I argued.

Now she was doubled over laughing. "Mom!" I snapped. "I'm so glad me feelings mean something to you."

"Alice, baby, I'm sorry. I know it's not funny. But that's how fucked up our lives are now. I have one daughter who hangs off the bible's every word, one daughter who is having a baby and my thirteen year old daughter needs alcohol and tobacco to be feel better. Fuck. I'm surprised that social services hasn't taken you away."

"Mom." I stomped my foot. "God." I fell back on the bed. "I hate you."

"Alice, I'm sorry." She sat down next to me. "I guess I just didn't realize how bad things really were."

I sat back up and stared at my hands. "I wanted to get better." I said, "But as long as I'm living in our house I don't think I can. I'll wake up in the morning and promise my self that today I'll change, and then I'll see Rosalie praying or Bella talking about the baby and then I fee like shit. Being thirteen is supposed to be about your first crush and becoming a teenager and stuff. Not about babies and rape."

"I know. Alice I'm so sorry."

"Mom, I know you're sorry, but it's a little too late." I crawled up the head of the bed and lifted the covers over me. Mom crawled next to me and wrapped her arms around me.

"So you drink to..."

"To numb myself." I couldn't believe how honest I was being with her. "When I'm at home I'm invisible. I was not ready to grow up yet, but I had to. You and dad used to always talk to me and make me feel noticed, but then you just stopped. I wasn't ready for it though. So to numb the pain I drank until all of my problems went away."

"How do you get alcohol?" She asked.

I hated this part. "Honestly..." I took a deep breath. "I'd like to tell you that I just got people to boot for me, which sometimes I do. But," This was the part I refused to admit.

"But..."

"Sometimes Lauren and I would hang out at the park with the high school kids. And the boys would buy us drinks if..." Lying here now I'm totally disgusted at what I did, but at the moment when I just need to be numb I'll do anything for some booze.

"Shit." Mom said under her breath. "Alice please tell me you're kidding."

"You don't understand."

"Is it really that bad?" She asked, "Is your life really that bad that you need to give total strangers a blow job just for some drinks?"

"Some days, yeah!" I cried. I pulled the blankets up over my head and buried my face in the pillow. We were both really quiet for a while, "I just wish we could turn back the clock six months." I whispered.

"Alice." Mom held me tighter. "I want to help you, but I don't think I can."

I rolled over and faced her. "So what, you're just giving up on me?"

"Of course not, I just think that we need some help." She ran her hands through my blue hair and I saw how sad she really looked.

"What sort of help?"

"I don't know. Let's get through this week and then we'll go from there."

"Back when Bella first got pregnant she told me that she had sex for the first time when she was thirteen, and that she always partied and drank and shit, and I remember thinking that thirteen was how old I was, and I could never imagine myself being like that. I thought that your life had to be really bad, like being raped and abused to feel like this. I thought that I would never be like that. But then..." I took a deep breath. "I'm just really confused. And I hate how it feels."

"Alice, I promise that I'm going to help you. Just don't give up on yourself, alright."

I nodded slowly. "Kay."

**So yeah...this is part one, part two should be up soon. It will be up soon-er if you review!!!!! **

**Thanks!! **

**Love Alice **


	22. Week 31 Part 2

**Sorry this took so long to post . But anyways, please enjoy the second half and Alice and Esme's week ! And please, please PLEASE review!! **

**Week 31-May 26 **

**Alice POV**

It's a nice feeling, waking up not hungover. I felt actually semi normal again, but by ten o`clock I was really craving a cigarette or something. Mom was sleeping next to me, her face peaceful and her breathing quiet. I gently pushed back the quilt and grabbed my pack of smokes out of my bag then went into the bathroom. I locked the door and turned on the shower then went over to the window. The sky was a clear blue and when I opened the window I was pleased to discover that the air was actually somewhat warm. The sun and heat was a pleasant reminder that summer was only a few weeks away.

I opened the window as wide as it would go then light a cigarette. I made sure that all of the smoke stayed outside and when I was done I sprayed the bathroom with perfume to hide any evidence.

"Alice?" Mom called.

"Uhh, in the shower! Be out in five." I ripped off my clothes then jumped into the shower. When I was little I used to sing in the shower, but I haven't felt like doing it in years. Something about today was different though, and without really thinking I started singing.

When I walked into the room dressed in the jeans from yesterday and a baggy t-shirt and my hair dripping mom was sitting on the bed smiling. "You have a nice voice."

I could feel my cheeks turning red. "Thanks I guess." I muttered. It feels kind of awkward talking to her after our whole conversation last night.

"So what do you want to do today?" She asked.

"I dunno." I shrugged, "This was your idea, so you should be the one to decide what we do."

"Alice..." She stood up and walked over to me. I pulled away though.

"I'm hungry." I walked out of the bedroom into the kitchen. I cut a bagel in half and then stuck the top half in the toaster. How the hell are we supposed to stay here for four more days?

Mom stayed in the bedroom which I guess I was happy and sad about. As much as I hate to admit it, I kind of like being around her. Like, just when it's the two of us. She's actually not that bad, I guess. I'd never tell her that though.

I buttered the bagel then sat down at the counter and ate it in silence.

I kept waiting for mom to come out of the bedroom but she never did. I didn't want to go back in either though, so I just went and sat outside. The birds were chirping and the sun was shining and everything seemed to happy. Somewhere in the world there was probably a baby being born or a little kid laughing and smiling. Somewhere there's a mother hugging her baby and somewhere else there's probably a teenager thinking about killing herself, or a child kidnapped and alone.

Aren't all babies born the same? Nobody has a baby expecting for it to grow up and drink and do drugs and cut it self or want to kill itself. And somewhere there's that mother watching her three year old daughter dance around the living room singing along to Sesame Street or something, and I'm willing to bed that the mother isn't thinking, 'Oh I hope she becomes one of those kids who does everything wrong.'

I mean, fuck, this world is such a bipolar place. It has every end of the spectrum. There are the happiest of people and the saddest of people and everyone in between, and it's always changing. I mean, mom was so happy, so carefree, before she found out about what happened to Bella. One event like that can have such a rippling effect, I mean, look how many people's lives have been affected because of that one night?

"Fuck." I said out loud, even though no one was around. "Fuck this world." I picked up a rock and hurled it at a tree. "Fuck everything." I picked up a handful or rocks around me and just threw them in random directions. I didn't realize how angry I was until I felt mom's arms around me.

"Shh," She whispered as she wiped the tears off of my cheeks with her sleeve. "Alice, it's okay. It'll all be okay."

And maybe things will be okay for me, and for us, but what about everyone else in the world. There are so many people that it won't be okay for.

Mom led me back inside and we sat down on the couch. "What was I like when I was little?" I asked.

Mom smiled as if she were remembering something funny. "I never knew a kid that small could have so much energy. You sure gave us a run for our money. You always had something funny to say or do and you loved dancing. You would always put on little shows."

I remembered that. When I was five I put together a whole ballet recital and then made everyone in the family pay me a dollar to come see it.

"Did you ever think things would be like this."

"Never." She admitted. "I thought I was too good of a mother..."

I leaned over and rested my head on her shoulder. "This isn't your fault you know." I told her. It was a little bit of a lie, but I hated seeing her upset.

***

It was dark outside and I could hear the grasshoppers and other night bug things. "Ready?" Mom asked. We decided that tonight we would eat outside by the fire. Neither of us knew exactly how to make a fire, but we'd figure it out.

"Yeah." I grabbed the pasta I had just made and followed her outside. There was a fire pit behind the cabin and it was actually pretty easy to get a fire going. We found some old plastic chairs and just sat around the now blazing fire.

"Here." Mom tossed me a can and when I looked at it I saw that it was beer.

"Really?" She was letting me drink? She shrugged and looked up at the sky.

"Why the fuck not, right?" She opened her own can and took a long drink. We ate and drank in silence, just sitting there under the clear the sky. It was really warm for May, and I loved the feeling of being away from everything.

Once she was done her food mom pulled out a pack of cigarette's and lit one. She then tossed the pack over to me and I did the same. It felt weird smoking in front of her, but I guess nothing about us is normal any more.

"Since when do you smoke?" I asked.

"Alice, you've been very honest with me, so now I'm going to be honest with you. But this is something very serious, and I trust that you'll keep it between us." Her voice was very serious and I wondered what could possible be this secretive.

"I was married once before your dad." She said. Her eyes were fixed on the stars and her voice was quiet. "His name was Charles, and my parents had sort of fixed us up." She took a long drag before continuing. "He was amazing...at first. But then once we were married he changed. He became someone that I didn't know. He hit me...and abused me, and I couldn't get away from him. And then I became pregnant and I thought things would change but they didn't. I couldn't raise a baby near him so I planned to leave. One night he beat me worse then ever, and the next morning I left. I was so close to term, but the baby...he didn't make it." Tears were covering her cheeks and her voice was shaking. "I know that things seem really bad Alice, but they get better. I saw him. My baby. They made me name him and everything. I felt like I couldn't, like there was no other choice. I had nothing. I tried to...I...God I felt so trapped. I just wanted..." She took a deep breath. "A friend was worried about me, and tried to come over and when I wouldn't answer she called the police and they saved me. And I'm so glad they did. I mean, I would have been giving up my whole life."

I was crying too. I couldn't believe what she was telling me. "Does dad know?"

"He was the doctor that saved me." She smiled. "John would have been seventeen this year."

"Mom, I'm so sorry. I can't even imagine..."

"I don't know exactly why I told you this. I guess since you've told me so much about who you are, I just wanted to give you an idea about who I am."

I nodded, wiping the tears off of my cheek.

"I don't expect you to change over night Alice." She said after a while. "Things take time. But I know that you'll end up okay. You just need some guidance, and I don't know if I am the right person to provide that guidance."

"Are you going to send me away?" I knew that if I went away it wouldn't be to a place like where Rosalie went. The places where kids like me go are not that lovey dovey. It would suck, I know that. It would be really strict and I don't think I can do it.

"I just want you to be okay."

"How did you become okay?"

"I had a lot of help Alice. I had a lot of doctors and therapists and it took a long time. But you're not as far gone as I was. At least, I hope not."

"No." I shook my head.

"Then I think that with help of your father and I, and a therapist or something, you'll be able to stay at home."

"Good. I don't want to leave you."

"I don't want you to leave us either." She stood up and walked over to me, pulling me close to her.

"I don't think we're really nature people." She said pulling away. "I don't know about you, but I would much rather spend the rest of the week a hotel, going to the spa and shopping."

"Really?" I smiled, "Me too!"

"There's no point in going now, but we'll leave in the morning. You and I really deserve it I'd say." She hugged me again and rubbed my back. "We're all going to be okay."

***

The next morning we packed up the car and drove back into the city. We found a fancy hotel downtown and got a room that overlooked the water. The first thing we did was order room service. This is the type of life I had always dreamed about. Sitting in a swanky hotel room eating room service and watching ordered movies. I was so happy that I didn't even think about drinking or smoking or anything. I just thought about the here and the now.

Once we were done eating we put on our housecoats and fuzzy slippers and padded down to the spa. When Rose and I were little mom used to do our hair and nails, but I've never been to a real spa.

"Do you want to get your hair done too, or no?" Mom asked as we walked into the spa.

I hesitated and ran my fingers through my hair. I wasn't sure if I wanted to give up my new look quite yet. Sure, I'm happy right now, but I'm not fixed. I know I still I have my issues, and I don't think I'm ready to move on just yet. "No thanks."

The lady led us to these cool massaging chairs and we dipped our beet into hot water. "This is so nice!" I gushed and a lady rubbed my feet.

"Don't get to used to it." Mom laughed. "Spaing is an expensive addiction."

It felt so good to spend the day being taken care of. I feel like it's been so long since anyone payed attention to me, and now it's all about me. I don't think I ever want to go home now.

***

That night we went out to a fancy restaurant and mom let me order whatever I wanted. I loved that it was just the two of us. No Rosalie or Bella or boys to interrupt. Just her and me time.

"I wish we had done this a long time ago." She said. "I know that if I had spent more time with you, you never would have done what you did."

"Don't focus on the past mom." I held up my glass. "Think about the future. Cheers, to our bright future." We clicked glasses and for the first time, I could almost see the light at the end of the tunnel.

"What do you say to a shopping spree tomorrow?"

I could feel my face light up. "Shopping? Really?" I hadn't been on a real shopping trip in like, forever.

"We need to get something to wear to court."

And just like that I was back in the real world. Bella's court date was fast approaching, and I know that once we get home everything will go back to revolving around her. "Right, court..." I muttered. And as fast as it had appeared, the light was gone. Fuck, I need a drink.

**Soo... the next chapter will be the first court date, and we'll see what happens with the whole custody battle. Please post your opinions on what you want to happen, as well, who thinks Kyle should wind up in jail? Please review!!!!!!!**

**Love Alice !**


	23. Week 32, 33 & 34

**Before I start, let me just say that I have never been to court, so what I'm writing may not be totally accurate. Just humor me though, and go along with it. I'm doing my best, kay? So without further ado, Chapter 23!**

**Disclaimer: I do not own any of these characters, although sadly, they do own me. **

Week 32**-**June 1

Bella POV

My court date was next week, and every night I lay in bed awake, scared to death that Kyle will get custody. I mean, who knows what kind of bullshit he's gonna pull out. I mean, what if they make me look really bad and he gets full custody? I have not gone through all of this, not to mention I have not put my _family _through all of this just so Kyle will get my daughter. No fucking way. If he gets her I swear to God I'll shoot myself.

I rolled over onto my stomach and looked at my digital clock. It was 4 in the morning, but I doubt I'll be falling back asleep. I slipped on my slippers and made my way down to the kitchen. My stomach was really big now, and I didn't really walk anymore, so much as I waddled. I was about to boil water for tea when my eyes landed on the phonebook. I don't know exactly what compelled me to pick up the phone, but I did. I hadn't talked to my real mom since I saw her over a year ago. She told me to call her anytime, but since I got pregnant, I was scared to talk to her. She told me not to make the same mistakes that she did...and now look at me, I'm exactly where she was fifteen years ago. Mistakes and all.

I needed someone who got it though. Who really knows whats going on. "Operator." A dull voice picked up. My insides felt tight, "Renee...uh..." Shit, what was her last name? Fuck. She took her new husbands name, I knew that much, "Uh, it starts with a D, Renee and Phil D-something. In Jacksonville Florida."

"We have one Renee and Phil, last name Dwyer."

"Thats it!"

"One moment please." The line went quiet, and then the phone started to ring.

"Hello?" Her voice was just like I remembered it. Warm and comforting, but also with an air of authority.

"Mom...er, Renee, it's Bella." My hand was shaking, I was so nervous. What if she hung up on me? I mean, why wouldn't she? She has no reason to talk to me. God, this was so stupid. I never should have called. This is what happens when you don't get enough sleep.

"Bella! Sweetheart, how are you!" She sounded happy, and I began to relax a little.

"I'm okay. How are you?" I walked in circles around the island.

"I'm doing really well. I haven't heard from you in a while. Hows life?"

"Well, I'm in Seattle now. I've been adopted, and I am with a great family, and..."

"Thats so great! I'm so happy to hear that. And...what?"

"Mom, I guess I sort of called because I needed someone to talk to whos been in my shoes." I know I have all of my school friends and stuff, by I need an adult whos been though it and moved on. Who isn't living it, but rather _has _lived it. "Mom, I'm having a baby."

The line went quiet for a few seconds. "Oh," She sounded surprised, which I'm sure she is, "Well, congratulations." She tried to sound cool, and I imagined her sitting down some fancy couch, trying to regina her composure. "How far along are you?"

"Seven months. It's a girl."

"Oh Bella, thats so exciting!" She sounded genuinely happy, and for a moment I wondered what my life would be like if she was my mom. She's only thirty now, and I bet shes a lot of fun.

"To be honest, I'm not totally sure why I called you. I mean, we're in totally different positions, but I guess I just felt like I needed to call you."

"That really means a lot Bella. I love you a lot, and I think about you all the time."

"Do you ever wish you had kept me?" I think this was the reason I called her. I just needed to make sure that I was making the right choice. That I was going through all of this for a good reason.

"Yes, I do. I wish I hadn't been so scared of my parents, I wish I hadn't been so selfish. I wish I had been there for you." Just hearing her say that made me feel that my decision was right. "Bella, I have to go to work, but please call me anytime."

"I will. Or you can call me. Here's my number." I gave her my number and then hung up. For some reason talking to her made me feel a million times better. Keeping my daughter is the right thing to do. If I gave her up, I don't think I'd ever forgive my self. I'd spend the rest of my life wondering if she ended up like me. Abused and alone. I could never live like that. No, keeping her is the right thing to do, and talking to my mom confirmed that.

**Week 33-June 8**

The morning of June 8th I woke up at the crack of dawn. This was it. The big day. The day that would pretty much determine the rest of mine, and my daughters life. I got up and showered and did my hair nicely. Ms Grayer has coached me on what to wear and what to say. I wore a green and brown floral print skirt and a brown lacey tank top. I curled my hair and did my make up and then went down to the kitchen. Esme and Rosalie were already up and dressed. Esme was wearing a nice skirt and blazer, and Rosalie was wearing a white tank top tucked into a plaid skirt with a shrunken navy blazer. The boys came down next, in dress plants and collared shirts, and then Alice was last. She's changed a lot since she and Esme got home. Her hair is longer and brown, and she replaced her lip ring with a tasteful little stud. I know that she still goes out and drinks, but she and Esme are getting a lot closer, and she's well on her way to recovery. Shes going to a summer camp in August for troubled teens, and I think that she's going to end up alright.

Edward looked gorgeous all dressed up. I wrapped my arms around him and soaked in his familiar scent.

"I'm so scared." I admitted.

"It's all going to be okay." He rubbed my back soothingly, and instantly I felt more relaxed.

"I hope so..." I put my hand on my stomach, "I just don't know what I'll do if..." I couldn't even finish the thought, but he knew what I meant.

"He won't. I promise." He kissed me softly, and then pulled away.

"Time to go." Esme called as she grabbed her purse. I felt like I was going to be sick, I was so nervous.

The ride to court was quiet. I just stared out the window, praying to God that for once in my life things go my way. _Please God, _I bargained, _If you keep her away from him I promise I'll be the best mother ever. _I closed my eyes and tried to block out the world around me.

The courthouse was quiet, with only a few cars in the parking lot. Ms Grayer promised that this hearing would be small. Just family.

I held Edward's hand as we walked inside. Ms Grayer met me right inside the front doors and led me to a small room. "This hearing will be very routine. They will ask both families some questions, they'll ask you about your future plans, very basic stuff. Do you have any questions?"

I shook my head. "Alright, are you reading to go in?"

"Will he be in there?"

"Yes, but Bella, it's going to be okay, I'll be right with you. You don't have to say a word to him." I nodded. I could do this. Not that I really had a choice...

I followed Ms Grayer into the courtroom, and kept my eyes focused on a picture near the front of the room. I refused to look around in fear of seeing Kyle. I heard some people whispering, but I kept walking with my head held high. I took my seat next to Ms Grayer, and then let my self look over at the other side of the room. There sat Kyle, next to his lawyer. He looked just like I remembered him. Big and tall, and those eyes...I quickly looked away. "I don't think I can be here..." I whispered.

"It's okay Bella. It'll all be over quick."

The judge called the court to order, and Ms Grayer and Mr Zyley stood up. At first it was very routine. I didn't have to say or do anything. They went over living conditions, and schools and family life. It wasn't until they asked why Kyle should not get custody that I had to stand up. Ms Grayer had coached me on exactly what to say, and I took a deep breath and then started talking.

"Kyle attacked me, your honor. He didn't ask me if I wanted to have sex, he just..." I took another breath, "He raped me. And your honor, I feel that because of this, Kyle is not a fit parent. To give him a child, after he raped me, would be just wrong. I am very concerned for the welfare of my daughter, and I'm afraid that if he didn't hesitate to attack me, he might not hesitate to hurt her either."

The judge nodded, and I sat back down. It was Kyle's turn next.

"Bella can barely take care of herself, let alone another child. She was sleeping with a different guy every week, and its no wonder she got pregnant. It just sickens me though that she is calling rape. I think she's crazy."

I smiled to myself. Ms Grayer knew he would use that, so she told me I should a full psychiatric exam, which I did, and I passed it with flying colors. His argument was useless.

Ms Grayer and Mr Zyley stood back up. They continued arguing back and forth, until the Judge finally stopped them. Everyone got really quiet as the Judge got ready to read his decision. "On the basis of what I've heard today I've chosen to grant Isabella Cullen full custody of this baby. Kyle can file for visitation in five years, unless he be convicted of rape, in which case Kyle will not be allowed within two hundred meters of Isabella or the baby, with no chance to re-file. As well, Kyle will pay two hundred and fifty dollars a month child support. Court is hereby adjourned."

"Thank God..." I breathed. Ms Grayer gave me a hug.

"Congratulations. You can rest easy now. I'll give you a call in a couple of weeks so we can get ready for the next trial."

"Thank you so much!" I felt like my face was about to crack, my smile was so wide. I was so thankful that Kyle would not be anywhere my daughter, for a while at least. I would probably actually get a real nights sleep tonight.

Esme and Carlisle were next to hug me, and then a woman in her mid thirties came over to me. "Hi Bella. My name is Kathy. I'm Kyle's mom." I took a step back. She didn't look angry, but I wasn't taking any risks. "Listen, I can't even begin to apologize for what Kyle did. I feel absolutely sick at what happened, and I agree fully that he should be nowhere near this baby."

I nodded. What exactly did she want me to say. "You have every right to refuse what I am about to ask, but, despite the horrible circumstances, this baby is my first grandchild, and although I'll probably never meet it--"

"Her. It's a girl." I interrupted.

"Her." Kathy smiled. "Although I'll probably never meet her, I love her. And you can feel free to say no, but do you think you could send me a picture of her, once she's born. Just for me, my son did something horrible, but I'm hoping that this baby can make some of it right."

"First of all, nothing will ever make it right. I love my daughter, but I didn't want a baby. If it weren't for Kyle, I'd be in public school right now, with friends my age. Not to mention what this has done to my family. So no, she will not make it _right._ However, I don't blame you for what Kyle did, so yes, I will send you a picture of her. If you'll excuse me though, I have to go. I'll see you at the next trial."

She nodded, probably not sure how to respond to my little outburst. I don't know what it is with moms these past few weeks, but there's Renee, and now there's Kathy, all these moms, and I have no clue what to do with them.

**Week 34-June 15**

The last day of classes was hot and sunny. I was hot and huge and uncomfortable and was just ready for the baby to come already. I pulled on a pair of shorts and a t shirt and pulled my hair up into a messy ponytail. Dani and Addison picked me up like usual, except today didn't feel normal.

"I can't believe today is our last day of school." I moaned as I climbed into the front seat. "I'm gonna miss these morning pick ups and starbucks runs so much."

"Me too, but we'll chill all summer, and I'll be there for you when she's born." Dani pulled into the drive thru line at starbucks. "Speaking of the baby, any names yet?"

I bit my lip. "Sort of. I've thought a lot about it, but I don't know, I mean it seems to final. Once I name her, it's like, thats it..."

"I totally get it." Dani looked in the rear view mirror at Addison who was staring out the window. "When you pick the right name though, you'll know it. It'll just like feel right."

"Yeah, that's what everyone's been saying."

---

The school was busy and loud. Everyone was excited that classes were over, but at the same time dreading exams. Classes were spent saying goodbye, and wishing everyone a good summer. I hugged all of my friends and teachers and promised to send them pictures as soon as the baby was born. Second block we were given time to clean out our lockers, which was quite the task. It's amazing how much shit accumulates over even a few months.

I peeled the pictures of my friends and me off of my locker door, and threw out all the crumpled papers and garbage, and then shoved everything else into my backpack.

Since today was the last of classes, school let out at noon. Dani and I took Addison to the mall to buy some clothes for my baby. Looking at all of the little dresses and shirts was shitting-my-pants scary. In just over a month I'm going to have a baby... and real live human being. The thought sent shivers down my spine. This was for real.

"Scary, huh?" Dani said coming up behind me. I looked at Addison who was smiling hugely, and then back up and Dani, who beneath her smile looked totally worn down. I felt my chest get tight.

"You have no fucking idea."

**Sooo... did you like it? Please review!!! The second court date will be in the next chapter, so review with any ideas/suggestions for it! Aannnddd, only a few short chapters away... the baby!!!!! So if you want to see that, then review!!!!!**

**Love Alice ! **


	24. Week 35, 36 & 37

**Again, I don't know a lot about court, so just bear with me! So this is the last chapter before THE BABY!!! I'm actually so excited for the baby to finally come. Like it's been soo long. Haha I'm pumped, and you should too, cause it's gonna be an epically amazing chapter. But before the baby comes, this chapter must happen. So read. Enjoy. And REVIEW!**

**Disclaimer: Naat Mine. **

**Week 35-June 22**

**Bella's POV**

Studying for exams is nearly impossible when your...rapist is about to be tried and possibly sent to jail. Not studying is not an option though because my marks are everything right now. Any chance I have at giving my child a good life comes from doing well in school and getting into a good university and getting a good job. I sighed loudly and rolled over. My first exam was tomorrow and I was so scared. Biology is my worst class, and if I don't do well, well, lets just say not doing well is _not _an option.

My door creaked open and I pulled my self up. Whenever I see Edward my insides get all warm and I can't help but feel happy. "Hi." I threw my textbook on the floor and patted the spot next to me. I don't know what it is about being pregnant, but lately all I can think about it sex. I've tried really hard not to say anything, because I know I can't be that attractive right now, but I think this is the longest I've gone without sex in a long time.

"Do you still find me attractive?" I asked him.

"Of course." He leaned over and kissed me and I was seriously ready to fuck him on the spot.

"Do you want to have sex?" May as well be direct...

"Is it okay...for the baby?"

"Yes. I googled it."

Edward laughed and then stood up and locked my bedroom door. We were home alone, but we didn't want to take any chances.

Edward was very careful of my belly as we undressed. He rubbed by stomach and pulled his hand away as she kicked. "I can never get used to that." He laughed.

"I love you." I said as I got close to him. "Like for real."

"I love you too Bella," He mocked my tone, "Like, _for real_."

"Don't make fun. Seriously, not a lot of guys would find this," I motioned at my swollen fat body, "Attractive. And the fact that you do says a lot."

"You'll always be beautiful in my eyes. You are the most gorgeous person ever." We moved up my bed and slipped under the covers. Fuck exams, fuck Kyle, fuck everything, as long as I have Edward everything will be okay.

---

I stood up and handed in my last exam. This is it. I'm done! I'm finally done school. I felt like cheering when I walked out of the gym. Now I can finally just focus on getting ready for the baby. I thought of all of my friends back in Forks, and wondered if they ever thought of me. I'll have to go down there after I have the baby. I'm sure Ms Anderson would love to see her. And Laura. I slung my purse over my shoulder and made mental note to remember to go down to Forks in the fall. Esme picked me up outside and drove me to the doctors. Since I'm down to my last month I've been going every week. Apperantly when you're young you're more likely to go into early labour. My due date is July 27, but really it could be any time between now and then. I'm hoping for later though. I'm just not quite ready for her to come.

"How was the exam?" Esme asked as I got into the car.

"Great. I'll get my marks on Monday, but I think I did really well."

"Thats good. I'm so proud of you Bella, this school year has been rough, but you made it. You survived."

I nodded. I did, I did survive. And if I can survive being fifteen and pregnant, maybe I can survive been fifteen and a mom...

Going to the doctor used to freak me out, but now it's just routine. Nothing special anymore. "How are you feeling?" She asked me.

"Good. I'm feeling really good actually. She's moving around a lot, but I'm totally comfortable."

"Well, I'm happy to hear that. Everything seems good, and she seems to be doing great. I'd say maybe another month, at most. But at the rate shes growing, it could be even sooner. Are you all ready?"

I looked up at Esme who was standing next to me. I'm so grateful of how supportive she is, because I could never go through this alone. "Ready as I'll be, I guess."

"Alright, well take care and I'll see you next week."

I climbed off of the table and grabbed all of my stuff. "Next time we're here," I told Esme as we walked out, "Kyle will either be in jail, or he...won't."

Esme squeezed my hand tight, and I knew that no matter she would watch out for me.

**Week 36-June 29**

**Rosalie's POV**

Since I'm not in high school and I don't write exams my school goes right up until the end of June. Today was out last day of school, and tomorrow was the trial. I tried to stay out of it, but I can't help but feel nervous for Bella.

St Mary's is my save haven. The place I go to get away from everything at home. School is the one place I feel totally safe, but come summer, everything will change. We're not a religious family, and we never go to church. I'm scared that if I'm not in a safe environment like Mary's then I fall back into my old bitchy ways.

I cleaned out my locker silently and quickly, refusing to think about the coming months. In eight short weeks I'll be right back here, in the place where I belong.

"Have a good summer Rosalie!" Meghan Campbell in my math class gave me a hug. "I'll be praying for your sister and the baby, and the rest of your family."

"Thanks Meghan." If anyone else in family heard that they would laugh, but lately prayer is the only thing I feel like I can count on, and knowing that someone is praying for Bella and the baby makes me feel so much better.

I lugged my bag of stuff out to the car where mom was waiting. "How was your last day?" She asked.

"It was good. I'm going to really miss going to school over the summer."

Alice turned around from the front seat and looked at me, "Even your uniform?" I used to be the _most _fashion obsessed person, but lately I just don't have the energy to care.

"Yeah, I guess." Alice made a face and then turned forward again.

At home things were really quiet. Bella was with her lawyer getting ready for tomorrow, and I could tell that mom was stressed. I went up my room and knelt down next to my bed. _Please God, make this right for Bella. She deserves a happy ending. And please keep my niece safe. Please never make her see the world the way Bella, Alice and I do. Please keep her sheltered and safe. Amen._

_---_

The next morning I woke up to perfect silence. It was nearly nine o`clock, but the house was dead quiet. I rolled over out of bed, and padded over to the bathroom. I peeked into Alice's room and saw that she was still sleeping soundly. I turned on the shower, ready to start my day. I have no clue what's going to happen, but whatever does happen will change out family, that's for sure. For the better or worse though, I don't know.

By the time I was showered and dressed, the house was buzzing. Bella was freaking out that her blazer was too tight, Emmett and Jasper just kept getting in Esme's way, and she was yelling at them. I tired to stay invisible as I made myself something to eat. I know today is going to be hard, and I don't want to make it worse.

"Can we _please _go!" Bella screeched, "I want to be there _early_!" She was really snappy, but I figured that on a day like this, she's allowed to snap.

"Okay guys," Dad called, "Let's get going." He ushered out to the car, and we all went without being asked a second time.

Once we got to the courthouse mom dad and Bella disappeared somewhere, and the rest of us went into the courtroom and found empty seats.

"God," Alice moaned, "This is going to be such a long day."

"Suck it up Alice." Emmett said, "We're here for Bella, so don't whine." I sat up tall and poised with my head held high waiting for the trial to begin. Mom and fad finally came in and sat with us, and then Bella and her lawyer came in next, followed by Kyle and his lawyer. We all to stand up while the judge read off what Kyle was being charged with. I hate hearing that word...rape...it always brings me back to that horrible night. I can't help but wonder if that will ever be me up there. After mom and dad found out I was raped we went to the police, but there wasn't a lot anyone could do. There was no physical evidence left since I had already showered, and I didn't know his name and couldn't pick his picture out the yearbook. So now my case was on the back burner, probably doomed to never be solved.

"We call Isabella Cullen to the stand." Kyle's lawyer said. Bella stood up slowly and made her way over to the stand. She was sworn in and then she sat down.

"Bella, can you tell us exactly what happened on the night of October 20th?" None of us had heard the story before and hearing her recount everything in such detail made me sick. Alice was crying and Bella was crying and even Esme was crying.

"Why did you wait so long before coming forward?"

"I was afraid." Bella said. "I was scared that he would do something worse to me. And plus, I found out soon after that I was moving. I thought it would be easiest to put this all behind me."

"Bella, is it true that you slept with a number of men?"

"They weren't exactly men..." Bella said. "But yes, I guess it's true. But with everyone I consented, with Kyle I did _not_."

"Did you ask my client to stop?"

"Yes, and he didn't listen."

The lawyer turned to the judge, "No further questions your honor."

Bella's lawyer stood up. "Bella, would you pleas tell the jury exactly how what Kyle did has effected your life?"

"It's changed my life in every way. I can no longer to public school and go out with friends. Well, actually, I don't even have a lot of friends. Nobody wants to be pregnant with a pregnant teenager. It's made me afraid of people's motive, and I have a lot of trouble trusting people. Plus, the baby of course. My dream of going to college and having a career has been put on hold. Now I have to pay for day care and I can't live for me anymore. When you're fifteen you should be allowed to live for your self, you shouldn't have to live for a baby. My future used to seem so bright, but Kyle," I glared at him, "Took that away from me."

Kyle was next on the stand, and as expected, he tried to make Bella sound like the bad guy. I don't think it worked though. He seemed so cold, and Bella had victim written all over her. I wonder what I would look like up on the stand.

The jury filed out, and Esme led us into the lobby. "The jury has to make their decision. I'm going to stay here with Bella and Ms Grayson. Dad will take you guys for dinner though. I'll see you back here soon."

I followed everyone out to the car, wondering how long it would take. Poor Bella, I bet she is just freaking out right now. I can just see her sitting in the office pacing back and forth...

**Bella POV**

I paced in circles around one of the conference rooms. "How long will this take?" I asked for probably the millionth time. "I don't know if I can take it for much longer..."

Ms Grayson was sitting calmly at the table eating a salad. "I don't know Bella. Just sit down and relax. It's out of your hands now. Freaking out will only make you feel worse."

Esme walked into the room and I immediately rushed over to her. "Any news?"

"I brought you dinner. Just sit down and try to relax." How can they tell me to fucking relax? This is not a relaxing situation. I continued to pace for another ten minutes and then finally sat and ate. The minutes turned into hours, and before I knew it, three hours had passed. Carlisle had taken everyone home because there was no point in all of us staying here all night. Three hours turned into five hours. How hard is it to decide. I'm clearly the victim. He _clearly _deserves to go to jail. Finally, after five and half hours we were called back in.

One of the jurors handed the judge an envelope. I crossed my fingers and squeezed my eyes shut as he opened it. "In the case of Kyle Johanson versus Isabella Cullen, we find Kyle Johanson guilty of first degree rape." I stared crying out of happiness and I hugged swaying back and forth. Kyle was yelling, but I didn't care. "The defended has been sentenced to eight years, to be served in Arizona State Prison."

"Oh my God," I cried into Esme's shoulder. "I can't believe it." Next I hugged Ms Grayson, "Thank you so much. You have no idea how unbelievably much I appreciate everything you did for me. Thank you!"

"You are welcome Bella. I except to be sent a picture of your daughter."

"Of course, I'll even bring her to your office so you can meet her. Thank you so much!" I hugged her again, and the went back over to Esme. Words cannot even begin to describe how happy I am. For the first time in a while I could actually see things being okay.

**Week 37-July 6 **

**Bella POV**

The baby is due in two weeks, and I'm freaking out. Esme's been taking me to the weird birthing classes, and I've been getting her room all ready. I just can't really believe that I'm going to have a...baby. It's so scary. I've been talking to my mom a lot lately. She actually has a lot of good advice, and I always hang up feeling a little bit better. I really want to ask to be here when the baby is born, but I don't know if that would be too weird. And I don't want to insult Esme.

Since school is all done, I pretty much just hang out at home. Alice is a this camp for troubled teens for five days and Rosalie is at...gag...church camp. She has been come to religious lately, it's actually scary. Jasper and Emmett are at sports camp, so it's Esme, Carlisle, Edward and me at home this week, and it's so nice. Edward and I pretty much together all day. Apperantly sex can induce early labor, but fuck it, I don't care. I have so much to celebrate right now that I don't even care.

"What are you thinking right now?" Edward asked. We were lying on my bed staring up at the ceiling.

"I'm thinking that this time next month I'll have a baby."

"And how does that make you feel?" He laughed.

"It makes me feel fucking scared."

"Language Bella." He laughed again. We had this deal that once the baby comes we'll get a swear jar, and every time someone swears they put a dollar in the swear jar, and all of the money will go to buy stuff for the baby.

"Sorry." I joked, "I'm scared...pantless."

"Have I ever told you how much I love you?" He asked.

"Why no, I don't believe you have. Why don't you show me."

"Bella, your baby shower is next week. You don't want to go into labor before that. It's apperantly a huge deal."

I sighed loudly. "Fine-uh. Can we watch a movie then?"

I love just being around Edward. He makes me feel like normal teenager who is head over heels in love. I can't help but smile around him.

And I am excited for my baby shower. Alice and Rosalie would be home, and I was inviting all of my school friends and Esme promised I would have a great time. And with Kyle sitting in some jail across the country I can't help but be totally happy. Maybe that'll change once the baby is here, but for right now everything is so...perfect. And I refuse to believe that it's _too _perfect.

**So...what did you think? Are you ready for some baby showers and babies? I sure hope so!! I know you've all been waiting for the baby, so review! The sooner and more people review, the sooner I write!! So review!! And also, in case you cared, the story will NOT end after the baby is born. It was initially going to, but writing Bella as a mom is too fun. So it's gonna keep going, but at a much faster pace. So you will get to really know and love her baby! So yeah, don't forget to review! Can we get to 230???? Lets try!!**

**Love Alice **


	25. And Unto us a Child is Born

**Alright...so this is it!!! This story has been nearly a year in the making, and it was all leading up to this. The least you can do for me is leave a review! And also, the story is NOT over, I love this story too much to stop here, so keep it on your favorites list!**

**So yeah, ENJOY!!**

**Week 38-July 13**

Alice POV

Esme, Rosalie and I are throwing Bella her baby shower tomorrow, and I'm actually so pumped! I can't even believe that next week the baby is due. I mean, it feels like just yesterday that she told us that she was pregnant, but then when I think of everything thats happened since then, it seems like years ago.

Our house is covered in pink and purple streamers and the cake is white with pink and purple roses. It's been so long since I've been girly, but I have to admit that it feels really nice, like I'm actually somewhat feeling myself again. I still sneek booze sometimes, but c'mon, I can't become perfect overnight.

The boys were all going on a camping trip with dad, so it was just the four of us home this weekend. Because of everything that's happened, I'm not really allowed to go out anymore, and since Bella's like too huge to move, she's staying home, and because Rosalie is this new found catholic who spends all of her free time praying for guidance or whatever, none of us are going out on this fine Friday evening. (**A/N For anyone who cares, I imagine Rosalie to be **_**just **_**like Grace, from the ****Secret Life of the American Teenager****. So if anyone is having trouble imagining what she's like--think Grace.) **

We were all sitting on the couches in the living room, just chatting. Three months ago I would have rather stabbed a needle through my eye then sit with my family, but if theres anything that I've learnt this past year, its that your family is the only solid thing you can rely on, and they'll stand by you, even when you _really _fuck up.

"So," Rosalie said, looking at Bella, "Any ideas on what your going to name her?"

Bella bit her lip. "I don't know. I...yeah, I really don't know."

"Do you want help?" I asked.

Bella shook her head. "No, I want to be the one to pick the name, I want it to really mean something to me."

"When you see the right name, you'll just know that it's meant to be." Esme said. "It'll just jump out at you."

"I hope so..." Bella sighed, "I'm kinda running out of time."

"It'll happen. I promise."

I wonder if Esme's ready to be a grandma. She sure looks too young to be one. I bet there will be lots of people who'll think that Esme is the mother, not Bella. "I can't believe that this is for real." I said. "It's so crazy."

"This family is crazy." Rosalie said, "So I guess it sort of just fits."

"You guys weren't crazy till I came along." Bella pointed out.

"Meh," Esme brushed the idea away, "Sanity is _so _overrated. We needed some excitement in our lives."

Rosalie and I didn't respond, and Bella just sort of shifted uncomfortably in her seat. Esme took the hint, and stood up.

"Kay guys, tomorrow will be a long day, so we should call it a night now."

As we got up and headed up to our rooms, Bella was unusually quiet. She's been really quiet lately. Edward said it's nerves, which makes sense. If I were her, I would be freaking out too. I mean, this time next week her life will pretty much be over. Her life as of next week will revolve around this child. And I mean, really, lets face it, no 15 year old looks forward to giving her life up for a baby. And no matter how much Bella denies that, I know that it's true.

---

**Bella POV**

I've never been to a baby shower before, and I never thought that the first one I would attend would be my own, but nevertheless, here I am. Sitting outside at a picnic table covered by a pink plastic table cloth, wearing a party hat the says "Mom to be!" All of my school friends and some of Esme's friends and one of Rosalie's friends are here. Everyone was mingling and helping themselves to food and drinks, and I was just sitting here, wishing with every bone in my body that I was somewhere else.

Esme, Alice and Rosalie organized a bunch of games and stuff, but I just wasn't having fun. All I can think about is the fact that I'm having a..._baby..._I mean, what if I mess up...or what if something happens to her...whenever I think about anything happening to her it makes me want to puke.

Dani ran over to me and pulled me up, "Have fun!" She insisted, "This is one of your last few days of freedom, enjoy it!"

I don't know if that was supposed to make me feel better or not, but it didn't. It made me want to cry. I would never be free again. Any sense of freedom that I have will be gone.

Dani pulled me over to one of the tables where people were having a 'drink milk out of the bottle' contest.

"Bella!" Esme ran over to me, "Sweetheart, have fun."

I nodded.

"Bella, open your presents!" Amalie, a friend from school, shouted.

Everyone pulled me over to where a huge pile of presents were stacked. I just stared at them. I was gonna be sick. I can't do this.

Someone handed me a large box, and I pulled off the wrap. It was some...plastic contraption...or something. "Oh," I fake smiled, "How nice."

"It's a diaper genie." Esme told me.

I nodded quicky. "I knew that."

The next three gifts were all things that I had no clue what they were. I bit my lip to keep from crying. What was I thinking? I couldn't do this. I couldn't raise a baby. I took a deep breath and opened the rest of the presents, trying to keep a cool face. Finally four o`clock rolled around and everyone left. I moved all of the gifts into the nursery and then locked myself in my room and cried.

---

Four days after my shower, Esme and I were sitting in my doctors office for my last appointment. She went through the routine and then I sat back up. These check ups have become so normal that I barely even notice anymore.

"So Bella," The doctor said, "Have you thought about who you want in the delivery room?"

"Uh, the doctors?" Wasn't that kind of a dumb question.

"I mean for family members."

"No one. I don't want anyone."

Esme looked really surprised, "It's nothing personal," I told her, "It's just that this is gonna be really gross, and I'm gonna be half naked, and it would be really weird."

"This is your choice Bella. Do whatever you feel comfortable with."

"Bella," The doctor said, "I can almost guarantee that you're going to want at least your mom there."

"No," I insisted, "I won't."

I mean really, why would I want people seeing me when I'm trying to push a fucking watermelon out of me? It's gonna be nasty, and the less witnesses the better.

---

That night I was lying on my bed flat on my back staring up the ceiling talking on the phone with Renee. Lately I've been talking to her a lot. I don't know why though, I mean, shouldn't I hate her? It's her fault that my life ended up this way. I can't bring my self to blame her though, cause I'm in her shoes, and if I didn't have Carlisle and Esme and Edward, I don't know if I could really raise a baby.

"Have the nerves set in?" She asked me.

"Yeah." I was crying, "I'm so scared." Renee is the only person who I feel like I can be honest with about how scared I am.

"Bella, listen to me. These last few days will be very hard, and probably uncomfortable, but once it's done, it'll all be worth it, and you're going to be a great mom. And you'll have Esme helping, and me, and all of your friends. It'll all be okay."

"What if she won't come out?"

"She will. You did."

"Is it gonna hurt?"

She was quiet for a moment, "Don't think about the pain, think about your daughter. And if you have Esme there helping you, it'll be okay."

"Esme won't be there. No one will be. I want to be alone."

"No, no, Bella, don't do that. Have her there. I was alone, and it was bad. It made giving birth a million times harder than it needed to be. Please Bella, have Esme."

"I'm gonna be a mess though. I don't want her to see me like that."

"Bella, believe me, Esme doesn't care. She doesn't care how you look, or how much you're screaming, she just wants to be there for you. She has sacrificed a lot to take care of you, and the least you can do is let her be there when her granddaughter is born."

"I'm so scared though." I whispered.

"Bella, I'm sure she knows that. Have you talked to her at all? Does she know all of this?"

"No."

"Tell her Bella. She'll want to help you. She'll want to be there and hold your hand the whole time. The last thing she wants is to imagine you in the delivery room alone, scared and in pain. Just let her be there. You don't have to have anyone else in there, but please, for you and for her, let Esme be in there."

God, I don't know what I want to do. "I'll think about it."

"I just want you to be okay." She said. I know she loves me, even if she did abandon me. She's told me how much she regrets it, but I can also see how great her life is now, and I know that if she had kept me she wouldn't be nearly as well off as she is now. "So do you have a name?"

"Sort of. I have her middle names, but I still need her first name."

"Whats her middle name?"

"I don't want to tell you yet. I don't want to tell anyone her name until I have her whole name."

"Well, I'm sure that whatever it is, it's beautiful."

"Thanks Renee. I should probably go now though, it's late."

"Night Bella. I love you. Call me anytime."

"I will. Love you too."

I hung up the phone and turned off the lights. I wanted to fall asleep, but what Dani said earlier kept running through my mind. _This is one of my last few days of freedom..._

I sat up suddenly and turned my lamp on. I grabbed the baby names book that Esme had given me months ago, and flipped right to page 42. That was it. I looked at the name and smiled. My daughter had a name, and I knew it was right.

**Week 39-July 27**

My due date came and passed four days ago, and I was seriously ready to fucking punch someone in the face. I wanted my baby out. Now. I couldn't move. I couldn't sleep. I couldn't fucking do anything, and I'm sick of it.

My doctor told me that if my water didn't break by tomorrow then she would induce labor. I was so over this being pregnant thing, I just want my baby already.

A few weeks ago I printed off a list of ways to go into labour, and I couldn't stop thinking about number 3. Sex. I know I'm huge, but really, I don't have many options left. I waddled over to Edward's room and locked his door behind me.

"We have to have sex. Now."

He looked up at me, curious.

I rolled my eyes. "I can't take another minute of being pregnant."

Edward stood and and walked over to me. We were just undressing when I felt something wet. I looked down and saw a puddle of water on the floor.

"Jesus, I'm good." Edward smirked.

My eyes got real wide. "This is it." I said, pulling my clothes on. "Oh my God, this is it..." I started hyperventilating.

"Esme!" I cried, running out of his room. "Esme!" I grabbed my bag and waddled down the stairs.

Esme ran into the living room. "This is it!" I cried. "OhmyGod...OhmyGod..."

"Breath Bella." Esme grabbed me arm and led me out to the car. The others were all piling into Emmett's car to follow behind us. "Breath!" She kept reminding me.

"Make it stop!" I cried. "Tell her to stop...I changed my mind...I don't want to do this. Stop, stop, stop!" God, if it was this bad now, then actually giving birth is going to suck.

"Bella, breath!"

"Esme, will you be there with me? In the room? Just you though."

"Of course."

Esme floored it the whole way to the hospital. As soon as we got there they whisked me off into some room, and before I knew it I was in the bed in a gown, Esme holding my hand.

"Can she come out now?" I asked.

"You got a ways to go." The doctor told me.

I threw my head back and cried. "I don't want to..." I moaned. "Esme..." I grabbed her hand and held it tight.

She ran her fingers through my hair, and kept reminding me to breath. An hour turned into three hours, which became five, then seven, and by hour nine I was ready to quit.

"Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, _fuck!_" I cried. "Get. Her. Out."

"Almost there Bella," the doctor promised.

Almost there my ass. It was another four hours before they told me to start pushing. I didn't even care that I was totally exposed, or that I was crying and sweaty. I didn't care that I was a mess, cause I just want this baby _out_.

I grabbed Esme's hand and squeezed as hard as I could. They kept telling me to push, but nothing was happening. I fell back onto the pillow, sobbing. "Keep pushing Bella, you need to push harder."

I leaned forward and grabbed Esme's hand again. I pushed as hard as I could, but still no baby. "Just fucking cut me open. I fucking quit." I cried as I fell back again.

"Bella, she's so close. Just try again."

"No..." I cried. "No, no..." But even though I was saying no, I was still pushing.

"Here comes her head!"

"Fuccckkk.." I screamed. This was a million times worse than I had ever thought.

"Bella she's coming!"

Oh my God. The baby I had been waiting nine months for was almost here, and I couldn't even see her.

"Describe her to me." I told Esme. Still holding onto my hand she moved closer to the doctors. I was so far past the point of modesty here that I didn't even care.

"Her hair is light brown, her shoulders are coming, arms, legs and--"

And all of a sudden there it was. There she was. At 3:31a.m. on July 28th my daughter was born. Her cry filled the silent room, and Esme came up and gave me a hug. I lost it and started bawling too. I held onto Esme for dear life, too scared to let go. "You'll still be my mother, right, even though I'm her mother."

"Of course, Bella, you are only fifteen. So maybe you have a baby, but you still need a mom your self, and I'll always be here." The nurse came over and handed me a big bundle. The tears came back, but this time they were happy.

This baby was something special. She is my life now. I looked down at her face--sleeping and at peace. Her lips were perfect, and her nose was perfect and everything about her was so, so perfect. She's little though. Only seven pounds. She needs me, she is relying on me for life. I brought her into this world, and now shes waiting for me to make it all worthwhile. And what if I fail. What if I totally fuck her up. Carlisle and Esme can only help me so much. At some point we'll move out, and then what?

"Esme," I looked up her. She looked totally worn out, and exhausted. She hasn't slept in nearly 24 hours, but still here she was, by my side. "Thank you. I'm really glad you were here."

"Thank you for letting me be here. I would have gone crazy with worry waiting outside."

There was a knock on the door and Carlisle came in, followed by everyone else.

Alice rushed to my side. "She is so cute Bella!"

Rosalie nodded, "So cute. She is going to be such a stunner."

"Looks just like you, Belly Button." Emmett said, looking over Alice.

I looked down at her again. She was amazing. I can't believe that this is for real. I'm a mother. I'm not even a sophomore yet, and I'm a mother.

She opened her eyes and I quickly stiffened. She looked around at all of us, and then began to cry. I looked up at Esme for help.

"Rock her." I gently swayed her back and forth, and her cries quieted. I took one of her hands, and held it gently. It was so small. Her fingernails were barley the size of a rice crispy. And she's mine. This little bundle of blankets is mine. Forever.

"So what's her name?" A nurse asked walking over to us.

"I wanted a name that meant something, but I didn't know what I wanted it to mean. And then it dawned on me. I've given up my freedom, but I always want her to be free. I want her to have the freedom to grow up and explore but to have the safety of her family. I want her to be free to love without worrying about being hurt. I want her to have the freedom to grow up that I didn't. So I looked up names that mean free, and I've decided on Carley." I smile down at her, trying out the name. "Carley Renee Esme Cullen." Perfect.

**Wow, so that's it. The baby is here...crazy...So how do you think she will handle motherhood? And will Carley put a strain on Bella and Edward's relationship? Can Bella manage everything, or will a lot of the weight fall on Esme? And what about Renee?? So much more to come, so KEEP REVIEWING SO THAT I CAN KEEP UPDATING!!!**

**Thanks for all of your support so far, and stay tuned for the next chapter!!**

**--Alice xx**


	26. July & August

**Sooo, enjoy! ((And REVIEW))**

**July 29th**

She's crying. Shit. This is my first time being alone with Carley, and now she's crying. "Esme!" I call. I'm sitting in the hospital room and I have no clue what to do. I call out again but no one can hear me over Carley's wails.

I looked down at her, and she looked back at me. "Shh, Carley, don't cry." I tried to sound soothing, but she wasn't fooled. She can sense my fear, and she's taking advantage of my weakness. "Carley," I spoke more firmly, "Carley Renee Esme Cullen, stop crying." She looked up at me, her eyes wide.

"Look Carley, I'm gonna be honest with you. I have no clue what I'm doing. I'm only fifteen. I know that I'm your mom, but I'm pretty clueless. So you're gonna have to bear with me, kay? And I don't just mean today. So I'm gonna apologize now for everything I'm going to do in the next eighteen years." I know that she can't understand a word I'm saying, but I kind of like talking to her, so I keep going.

"So anyways, I guess nows a good time to tell you about the family. So I'm Bella, your mom. I'm fifteen, almost sixteen, and I don't have good fashion sense, so again, sorry in advance. I used to really love to party, but I'm over that now. And your dad, well, we're not going to talk about your dad, but you are half him, so I suppose I should tell you about him. At first glance he was great, good looking, a football player, really sweet; but then he had too much to drink and he became a totally different person. I promised that you would grow up with the freedom to be innocent, so I'm not going to tell you more, but maybe one day you'll meet him. Not until you're older, but maybe one day.

"And then there's grandma and grandpa. Grandma Esme is amazing. She's so perfect. I couldn't have asked for a better mother. You'll love her. And Grandpa Carlisle is great too. He's a doctor, and if you ever get hurt I'm sure he'll take real good care of you." Carley grew quiet; I guess the sound of my voice soothed her.

"And then there's Aunty Alice, she's really great, but she's going through a rebellious stage. God, Carley, if you become like Alice I think I'll go crazy. She's a great shopper, and I'm sure she'll make sure that I don't dress you too badly. And then there's Aunt Rosalie. She's complicated. I don't know what to tell you about her, because I don't know exactly what's going on with her. She'll make sure you always look your best though. And then Uncle Jasper and Uncle Emmett, oh Carley, you'll love them. They'll teach you to play video games and sports and all of that good stuff. And then there's Edward. I don't want to say Uncle Edward cause I'm sure that one day he'll be your dad, so for now he'll just be Edward.

"So there we have it. Right now we live with Grandma and Grandpa, but one day we'll get our own place. I still need to finish school though. And Carley, I'm going to do everything I can to make sure you don't end up like me."

I kept talking about random things. I didn't know what else to do with her other than talk to her. Eventually though she started crying again. I shushed her and rocked her but it didn't help.

"Carley," I begged, "I thought we had a deal..."

Luckily a nurse walked into the room and took her from me. "Some one is hungry. Are we ready to try breast feeding?"

"Try what?" I looked at her like she was crazy. I wasn't gonna breast feed. That's nasty.

"I know you were planning on bottle feeding, but we should at least try it once." She handed me back the baby and explained what to do.

Uh..._ew? _To my disappointment Carley took to it right away. God, this was so weird.

Esme walked into the room and my face got bright red. "Close the door. I don't want anyone else coming in."

Esme laughed, "It's okay Bella, this is totally normal. and besides everyone else is home."

"Oh. Well, thanks for staying."

"You're welcome. So how's it going so far."

"It's good." I looked down at Carley who was happily sucking away at my boob. Gross. "Carley and I had a great chat this morning."

"What?"

"Well, I didn't know what to do with her, so I just talked to her. I told her that I have no clue what I'm doing, and that I'll do my best, but in return she has to not get angry at me if I fuck up."

"Bella, language. Babies soak everything up. You can't use words like that around her."

Not swear? Yeah, that's likely. Swears have been part of my vocabulary since I could talk.

"When can I go home?" I asked the nurse.

"Well, Carley looks good, so I'd say tonight."

"Really?" That soon? I don't know if I'm ready to enter back into the real world.

The nurse took Carley and put her in the little box thing. "I'm going to take her for a nap, and I suggest you do the same. Tonight's gonna be a long night."

I looked up at Esme, panicked. "I'll help you." She promised.

"Thanks." I didn't know the first thing about caring for a baby alone. But with Esme here to help me, maybe, just maybe, it'll be okay.

"Well I'm gonna get some shut eye." I rolled over and closed my eyes. I hadn't had a proper sleep since before I had Carley, and my body was begging me to let it rest.

---

"Bella," Someone was shaking my shoulder. "Bella!" I moaned and rolled over and saw Esme standing there. "Bella, you slept for nearly six hours. It's time to get moving."

I moaned again and sat up. I didn't want to wake up. I wanted to sleep more. "Ten more minutes." I yawned, falling back.

Esme laughed, "No, Carley wants to go now, and you're on her schedule now."

I groaned and climbed out of the bed. I pulled on my jeans and a hoodie and pulled my hair up into a ponytail. Jesus, I need a shower.

"God, I look like shit." I muttered.

"Language." I could tell that this was going to get real old real quick.

"Alright." I said, grabbing my bag, "Where is she?"

Esme led me to the nursery where the nurse showed me how to change her daiper and explained how to warm her bottle and how to bathe her. I dressed her in the onesie that I had brought with me and then Esme helped me strap her into her into the blue and pink car seat I got at my shower.

"Ready?" Esme asked. I nodded. This was it.

"Ready Carley?" I asked. She whimpered, and I took that as a yes.

I strapped her into the backseat and then climbed in next to her. She slept the whole way home, and the second we walked into the house we were bombarded. Alice was the first to ask me to hold her.

"She's so cute Bella! Can I hold her?"

"Alice, calm down. Give Bella a chance to breath."

"Sure you can hold her, let me just help you." I moved everything into the living room and then unclipped Carley. I handed her gently to Alice and then I fell back onto the couch.

Carley was being passed around, so I decided that now was a great time to sneak in a five minute nap. I closed my eyes, and fell asleep to the sound to my family loving my daughter.

**Rosalie POV**

I was holding Carley close to me, and I felt this sense of...completeness. And jealousy. Yes, I admit it, I'm jealous. I mean, this baby is Bella's. Bella has a baby all to herself, and I can't help but envy that. I want to be a mother so bad. Not yet of course, I mean, I'm only fourteen, but holding Carley just reminded me of how much I really want to be a mother some day.

"She's so cute."

Alice leaned over my shoulder and smiled. Carley just stared at us. "Hi baby." I cooed. Bella told us not to coo at her cause she didn't want this baby to grow up to be a sappy sucker, but whatever. If I want to coo at my niece then I will. "You are so cute, yes you are." I made faces at her but she just stared.

"Talk to her like a real person Rose. None of that baby gooey shit."

"Bella!" Esme scolded from the other room.

"Bella, she's a baby. Talking to her like one won't kill her." I argued.

"Well I want her to be treated like the human she is, not like a fucking puppy."

"Bella!" Esme shouted. She stormed into the living room. "Enough. You are a mother now. No more of that sailors mouth. From now on, every time _anyone _in this house swears they have to put a dollar into the swear jar. And all of that money will go towards Carley. Sound fair?"

"No." Bella grumbled. Alice and I laughed. We went through the whole swear jar phase like seven years ago.

Bella lay down on the couch and pulled the blanket over her. "I'm taking a nap."

Just as she said that Carley started wailing. Bella threw the blanket off and took Carley. "What do you need?" She snapped. "Mommy wants to sleep."

"Bella," Alice said, "Talk to her nicely."

"Fu--screw you. She's my daughter. I can talk to her however I want."

I looked up at Bella with a feeling of anger. She doesn't deserve this baby. She grabbed the baby blanket off the chair and threw it over her shoulder. "So, my boobs coming out right now. So unless you want to stay for the show, I'd suggest you leave."

Alice shrugged and ran up to her room. I turned on my heels and went to find mom in the kitchen. "What's with Bella's mood?" I sat on the counter and swung my legs while mom cut carrots.

"She's tired Rosalie. Babies are a lot of work, and the first few days are the hardest."

"Doesn't look that hard." I muttered.

"Well missy, I don't want you finding out any time soon."

"I won't, I won't." I promised.

"But mom, you should tell her speak nicer to Carley."

"Listen, I'm not going to bug Bella about the little things right away. She's very overwhelmed, and I don't want her to feel like we're attacking her, and telling her how to raise her daughter. Bella needs to learn on her own that Carley won't respond to yelling. But for today let's just let her be."

"Whatever." I jumped off the counter and stormed up to my room. No one in this house listens to me. What makes them think that Bella knows best. I knelt down next to my bed and bowed my head. "God, I pray that Bella finds the guidance she needs to take care of Carley, and I pray that you watch over my new niece, and that you don't let Bella bring harm to her." I knew that Bella would never intentionally hurt Carley, but babies need love and patience, and I don't know if Bella can give that. "Thank you for Carley's health and beauty, and I pray that you continue to watch over this family. Amen." I sat back up and turned on my computer.

I had been thinking a lot about school lately. The plan was for me to go back to Mary's, but I was starting to have second thoughts. High school is a once in a lifetime experience, and I love Mary's, but I don't know if going to an all girls' school is what I really want.

I mean, yeah, I'm still scared to go back to public school, but I know that I'm going to regret not going to McKinley. I don't want to give my whole life up for that guy. I want to get on with my life and start living for me again.

Ever since I was a little girl I had dreamed of being a cheerleader, and Mary's doesn't have any sports teams. And I want to play volleyball too. I don't want to loose this chance because I'm scared. I'm smarter now, and I won't make the same stupid choices. I want to keep living though, and of course I'll still pray, but I just want to be able to have some fun.

I needed to talk to mom about this, but I decided to wait a few weeks. She's tired, and I don't want to bug her. I think I'm gonna do it, I'm gonna go to McKinley. I was going to stop living in fear. I needed to face high school. I'm not going to let that guy take another second of my life.

---

**Bella POV**

Three fucking a.m.

I rolled out of bed and lifted Carley out of her cradle. Esme was sleeping in the room with me to help, but she didn't even flinch. God, she must be even tireder than me. I hurried out of the room as to not wake her and took Carley down to the kitchen. I had sworn that I wouldn't breast feed, but it was easier than heating the bottle, so I pulled down my shirt and let Carley go at it. I turned on the TV and watched the disney channel until Carley was done. I burped her and then checked her diaper and the stood up.

As soon as I stood up she started wailing again. God, why are babies so hard. Why can't they just sleep through the night like a normal human being. I walked around the room lulling her and rocking her and thank God she stopped crying. She looked around the room, then up at me, then back around the room. Once I was sure that she was ready to go back to bed I headed back up to my room.

I gently placed her back in the cradle and then started to climb into bed. The second she was out of my arms though she started crying again. I fought back my own tears and then lifted her up again.

"Bella, let me help." Esme mumbled.

"I got it. Go back to sleep."

I went back down to the living room and turned the TV back on. I walked Carley all around the house, feeding her, burping her, changing her diaper, and she even fell asleep in my arms, but the second I put her down her eyes flew open and she started bawling.

What have I gotten my self into?

---

**August 14th**

The past two weeks have been hell. Absolute, fucking hell. And yeah, I swore. So sue me. I haven't slept in forever, so I think that a little swear here and there is perfectly acceptable.

Esme helped me a lot, but I was the one getting up in the middle of the night and I was the one holding her most of the time. Don't get me wrong, I'm not complaining, I'm just tired. So. Fucking. Tired.

**Rosalie POV**

"Mom?" I walked into the kitchen where mom was getting dinner ready. Everyone was busy doing their own things, so this seems like the perfect time to talk to mom about school.

"Yes, Rosalie?"

I jumped up on the counter and picked at my fingernails. I had prayed that this conversation would go smoothly. "Mom, I want to talk to you about high school. I know that the plan was for me to stay at Mary's, but mom, I've decided that I really want to go to McKinley."

Mom looked up. "What?"

"I want to have a normal high school experience. I want to go to football games and be a cheerleader and have a boyfriend. I don't want to live my life in fear."

"Wow, Rose, I never thought that we would be having this discussion. I thought you were doing so well..."

"I _am _doing well, mom. Thats _why _I want to go to McKinley. I don't want to loose another second of my life to that guy." Mom flinched when I mentioned him. "I don't want to look back on my life a regret not having a normal teenage life."

"Are you sure Rosalie? There's going to be parties, and guys..."

"Mom, theres going to be parties and guys everywhere. I know how to handle my self now. I know how to not be stupid."

"I want you to be okay."

"Mom!" I rolled my eyes, "I _am _okay! God has helped me, and now I'm ready to go back into the real world. Mary's was great for me, but I want to be normal again. God knows nothing else about my life is normal right now, so at least school can be."

"Alright then," Mom sighed, "Okay, I'll take you next week to register. You're sure?"

"Positive." I jumped off the counter and hugged her. "Thank you mom. Thank you so much!"

I danced up to my room feeling so excited. High school was going to be amazing, I just _know _it.

**Alice POV**

It was one in the morning and Carley was till crying. I didn't know that babies cry so much, but she hasn't stopped in hours. I rolled over and pulled my pillow over my head to drown out her wails. Man, I'm sure glad that I'm not Bella right now.

**Alright... so this is just the start...wait till things REALLY heat up. I have some HUGE plans for the coming chapters that I'm psyched about. I might do a time jump, but I don't know. And if I do it won't be for a while. Like not until at least November. (In the story) But yeah, please review!!! **

**And for those of you who think that the Cullen's are done with tragedy, keep thinking. I have some sad plans for one of the characters... any guesses who? (And don't worry--no one dies)**

**Kay, I'm gonna stop rambling, but remember TO REVIEW!!!!**

**xoxo Alice **


	27. September

**Disclaimer: Not. Mine. End. **

**August 30, 2010 (A/N--I'm gonna start using dates so that when I do time skips you won't be confused.) **

This was the last week of summer break, and everyone was living it up, except for me. I hadn't left the house since Carley was born, except to go to Wal Mart to buy stuff for her.

Everyone was buzzing about the upcoming school year. Edward will be a senior, Emmett is going to the University of Washington on a football scholarship, Rosalie and Jasper are going into high school and Alice is going to her school for kids with problems. And then there's me.

I don't want to go back to school. The idea of being away from Carley, even for a few hours, is sickening. I mean, it's weird, cause I'm dying for a break, but the idea of being away from her is just, I dunno...crazy.

Tonight was one of the nights where I'm totally alone with Carley, and I have to say that we're doing really well. I'm still feeling totally overwhelmed, but when things go smoothly, like are right now, I feel good.

I have Carley on somewhat of a schedule now, so I fed her, bathed her and put her in bed, all on time. I was just walking out of my room, patting myself on the back for a job well done when all of a sudden Carley started crying. No, not crying, try like fucking wailing. When she cries the hairs on the back of my neck stand up. I can never get her to stop. It's like she hates me or something.

I sat down outside of my bedroom door hoping that maybe she would stop. After ten minutes though she was only getting louder, so I quietly opened the door and picked her up. So much for our good night. God, I hate this. Why won't she sleep, so that maybe I can get some fucking shut eye.

I tried everything, but she wouldn't stop. The minutes ticked into an hour, and I was starting to panic. I tried Esme's cell, but there was no answer. I walked all around the house, but she wouldn't quiet down. One hour turned into two, and by the second hour I was freaking out. I was scared, and tired, and really, _really _stressed.

I honestly don't think that I can do this anymore. I feel like I haven't slept in _forever._ Carley has been crying for like two hours already and she doesn't show any signs of stopping. I held her close to me rocking her back and forth gently. "Shh," I tried to sound soothing, "It's okay baby, go to sleep." I swayed trying to get her to at least quiet down. I just want to go to sleep. I just want her to be quiet. Just for one night. Thats it, one night of good uninterrupted sleep is all I'm asking for.

I carried her up to the kitchen and made a bottle, but she refused it. I tried burping her and changing her diaper, but nothing was helping. Soon I couldn't take it and I started crying along her with her. How fucked up is this? I mean, I'm 15, I should be out partying on a Saturday night, not at home with my screaming baby. "Carley, please," I sobbed, "Let me sleep."

I heard the front door unlock and Esme and Carlisle walked in. Esme kicked off her shoes and flung her jacket onto the couch. "Bella!" She ran over to me, "Whats wrong?"

"I...I...I can't do it, she hates me. I've tried everything, she just doesn't like me or something. And I haven't slept in God knows how long and I just want to stab Kyle in the fucking eye for doing this to me." Carley was crying ever louder now, which in turn made me cry harder and I knew I looked like a blubbery mess, but I didn't give two fucks. I just want the baby to sleep.

"Here Bella, give her to me for a few minutes." Esme reached for the baby and I gladly handed her over. Once my arms were empty I collapsed onto the couch and just cried.

"I don't know what the hell I was thinking, I can't do this. She deserves a mother who can actually keep her happy."

"Shes a newborn baby Bella," Esme said rocking Carley back and forth, "This is totally normal." Carley started to quiet down, "She feeds off of your energy. If you're upset then she'll be upset." Her wails turned into whimpers, and then, finally, her eyes closed.

Esme handed her back to me, and I stared down at her now peaceful face. She did look like me, with her round face and thin lips. I stood up slowly and went up to my room. I placed Carley in the cradle, and then went back down to the living room.

"It's a lot of work, isn't it." Esme said wrapping her arms around me.

"I had no clue..."

"When she says her first word, or calls you mommy for the first time, or when she says that she loves you, then all of these sleepless nights will seem much more worth it."

I leaned on Esme's shoulder and just cried. She sat there rubbing my back slowly, just letting me cry. My whole body feels weak, like at moment I could just crumble to the ground.

Esme stood up slowly and guided me up to my room. Carley was asleep in her cradle, but I knew it wouldn't last long. In a couple of hours I would be woken up again. Esme pulled back my covers and I climbed into the bed.

"Will you stay with me?" I asked her. I didn't want to be alone. I wanted the warmth of having her next to me. She held me close as I drifted off to sleep, and when Carley started crying just under two hours later, Esme told me to stay in bed, and she took Carley out of the room. I slept right through breakfast till almost noon, and I don't feel the least bit guilty about it.

---

**September 9th, 2010**

Today is the first day of school, and I'm doing everything to delay having to get up. I can't do this. I can't just drop Carley off. Not yet at least, not until she's older. She's still so tiny, and maybe she hates me, but she _needs _me, even if I just make her cry.

"Esme, I've decided not to go back to school just yet." I said, coming to into the kitchen.

She threw her head back and laughed. "Sorry chickey, no dice. Get dressed."

"Esme, I'm serious. I'm not ready to be away from Carley. I don't want to just leave her in that daycare."

"Bella--"

"No, I'm serious. I don't trust anyone except for you, Carlisle, or me to care for her."

"Bella, would you feel better if she stayed with me for today?"

"I don't want to go back to school. Esme, I need to move on with my life. I need to finish high school fast, so that I can get a job. What if I stopped school--just for now--got a job, earned money, and then went back and got my GED."

"Bella, no, I am not letting you do that to your self. Leave Carley with me for for now, go to school, get your education, and graduate."

"Esme, I don't want to spend three more years in school." I knew I sounded whiney, but she didn't get it. I'm not a teenager anymore, I'm a _mother_, and I just want to start being an adult. I don't want to be stuck in a classroom for a day longer than absolutley necessary.

Esme put her hand on my shoulder and looked me in the eyes. "Go to school. I love you Bella, but if you drop out of school then you are out of this house."

I felt a pinch behind my eyes. She doesn't understand. I felt like screaming at her. I wanted to call her every bad name in the book. I didn't do that though. I was too upset. Instead I picked up the baby carrier, grabbed my bad and walked towards the door.

"You can't kick me out if I voluntarily leave." Fuck this. This is my life, and if I don't want to be away from Carley then Esme can't make me. I'm a mother now; a fucking grown up.

**Esme POV**

What the _fuck _just happened? I tried to replay the last five minutes in my head, but everything was a blur.

"Bella!" I called after her. She wasn't seriously running away, was she? Where did she think she would go. I ran over to the back door and called after her again. I ran into the yard, but she was already out of sight. "Isabella!"

"Shit." I slammed the door and threw the first thing my hand landed on against the wall. The glass cup shattered when it hit the wall, but I didn't care.

Emmett ran into the kitchen. "What's going on?"

"Bella took off." I told him. Digging through my purse looking for my keys.

"What?" He took a step back. "Took off, like, _ran away_?"

"I don't know. She's mad that I'm making her go back to school, so she left."

"With Carley?" He asked. I nodded.

"Mom, she'll come back. She probably just needs some space. She's just mad."

"What if she doesn't come back?" I couldn't bear the idea of loosing Bella and Carley. "Or what if something happens to her?"

"Mom, she just needs some space. I bet she's just going for a walk."

"Fuck it, I'm going after her." I just grabbed the whole bag and ran out to the car. I didn't have to drive very far; she was sitting at the bus stop around the corner.

"Get your ass in the car." I shouted.

"Fuck you." She stood up and started walking away.

"Isabella, get in the fucking car, right now."

"I'm not going to school. I don't want to be away from her...and plus I don't, I...God, just leave me alone for a while."

"Bella, get in the car."

Finally she climbed into the back seat, clipping Carley's seat in next to her. "I hate you." She sneered.

"I don't care. I'm your mother, no matter if you hate me or not."

"You don't get it," She cried.

"You are so wrong! I do get it. Being away from your child is hard. Feeling like your life is at a dead halt. I do get it, but Bella, _you_ don't get it. You don't get that if you don't finish school then your life will be _shit. _Without a high school diploma you will be working at McDonald's for the rest of your life, and what does that show Carley? That giving up is okay?And if you don't finish school now, then you will never finish. So go. Get it over with."

Bella didn't respond. In fact, she ignored me the whole way to the school. When I pulled up in front of the main entrance she said her tear filled goodbyes to Carley, and then stormed out of the car without a word to me.

**Rosalie POV**

(Earlier that morning)

I was the first one up, but I couldn't help it, I was so excited! I practically leapt out of bed and got into the shower. I couldn't believe that I was going to be in High School. This is what I have been dreaming about since I was like five. I did my hair and makeup and then went back into my room and stood in front of my closet. I wanted to pick the perfect outfit. It was hot out so I chose a pair of light wash shorts, and a pink v-neck t-shirt.

I admired my self in the mirror and smiled. Perfect. I grabbed my bag and ran down to the kitchen. Edward was driving me and Jasper, and I just wanted to go already! I threw my sandwich into my bag and sat down at the counter, eagerly waiting.

Mom came down, followed by Edward and Jasper. She wrapper her arms around me and squeezed me tightly. "Good luck!" She squealed. "And have fun!"

"Thanks mom." I squirmed out of her tight grip, "Love you!" I blew her a kiss and I ran after Edward out to the car. I couldn't stop smiling the whole way to school. I was finally getting on with my life, and I couldn't be happier about it.

We pulled up in front of McKinley and got out of the car. Edward pointed us in the direction of the gym where all of the freshman were supposed to go, and then disappeared into the crowd. I said a quick prayer, asking for today to go well for all of us, and then joined the sea of people. McKinley is nothing like Mary's, and it's _certainly _nothing like Forks Middle School. This place is huge, with hundreds of people all around me. I kept my head up high though and smiled as I walked into the gym. I got in the line to collect my schedule and get my photo taken.

"Hi." The girl in front of my turned around and smiled. She has shoulder length chocolate brown hair and was wearing a pair of shorts and purple hoodie over a gray t-shirt. "I'm Eve."

"Rosalie." I smiled sweetly. She seemed harmless enough. I had to remind myself that I couldn't be afraid of everyone. I had to be outgoing. "So what middle school did you go to?"

"Oh I actually just moved here from Vancouver, Canada, so I'm kinda totally lost."

"Don't even worry, I'm coming from an all girls school, so I have even less of a clue than you."

"Well hopefully we have some classes together so we won't be totally alone."

I nodded. High school was turning out to be great so far. I even have a friend. Eve was next to get her picture, and then she got her class list. I got mine next and then we went off to the side to compare classes. "We have english, gym, biology and drama together. And we have the same lunch block."

"Thats so awesome." Eve grinned. "I was so scared that I would be totally alone."

We walked around the gym together, getting our lockers, textbooks and agenda's. Finally we were told to head to our second period class. Second period was the only class that we didn't have together, so I went off to history while she went to math. It wasn't hard to find my classroom, and when I walked in I was relieved to see that everyone looked as nervous as me. I sat down next to a guy with dirty blonde hair. He looked at me, but when I looked back at him his eyes dropped. I frowned, but ignored it.

The teacher didn't waste any time getting right to the boring stuff, and I found it nearly impossible to concentrate. I was still just to excited to be here; to finally be in high school. How could I possibly concentrate on history?

Next I had gym, which luckily we didn't have to change for today. I met Eve out on the field, and we sat together while the teacher explained the rules of the class and what we would be doing this year. Next we had to give our sizes for our gym uniform, then we were allowed to go for an early lunch.

As Eve and I walked to the cafeteria, laughing and talking about hot guys we had seen today, I realized that I really felt happy. Things were finally looking up; _waay _up.

**Alice POV**

(Earlier that morning)

I stood outside wearing a white t-shirt tucked into a floral print shirt, with black purse hanging off my shoulder. I had no clue what to expect as I stood waiting for the bus. From what I found online the school doesn't look _so _bad, I guess. Small classes, good teacher-student relationships, and a great support system. School's words, not mine.

I had stared at the school's about us page for a good hour last night. The words were practically burned into my brain.

_West Seattle Academy is a school designed for students who don't thrive in the public school system. Each student comes to WSA with unique and diverse issues, and our staff are dedicated to helping each student excel. _

I kicked at the ground waiting for the stupid bus to just fucking come already. Finally a big yellow school bus pulled up next to the curb. I climbed on, ignoring the bus drivers greetings, and headed directly to the back of the bus.

My mood has been all over the place lately. I was really happy, and doing really well, and then last week I just fell apart again. Now it's like I'm in an everlasting bad mood.

I sat down and moved as close to the window as possible. The bus filled up fast, and the noise was driving me crazy. I just want to get back under the covers. I want to be with Carley; whenever I'm with the baby I feel so much better.

The school was a decent size with a good number of students filing in the front doors. I followed the crowd to the main theater and found a seat at the back of the room.

The principle, a middle aged woman wearing a hideous suit dress thing started talking about the school. She told us all of the rules, which, by the way, were a lot. She told us that the teachers here care about us, and we won't fall through the cracks here like we might in public school or at home. She told us how the classes worked: classes were gender separated, and there would be between eight and twelve kids per class. We stay with the same group of people all day, and we have the same teacher as well, all to help build bonds and build trust or whatever. Then she started reading out the classes. She started at grade six. I was surprised at some of the kids. They were even younger than me, some as young as ten or eleven, and some of the girls look like total whores.

Finally she started the eight grade classes. There were four boys classes, and then she started calling out girls names. "Tessa White, Rebecca Alvarez, Tiffany Allen, Mary-Alice Cullen, Ella Becker, Katherine Tucker, Summer McKay, Elizabeth Parks, Caroline McConnell and Julia Tyler, room 145."

I stood up and walked into the hall. Room 145. I looked up at the numbers and made my way down the hallway until I got to the right room. I walked in and saw three girls already sitting there. They looked normal, I mean, they didn't look like they have 'issues', but I guess at first glance I look normal too.

There were ten desks arranged in a 'u' shape, and at the back of the room were three couches. It looked nothing like the boring classrooms at Mary's, with the neat rows or desks and blank walls. No, this classroom was the polar opposite; the walls were colorful and everything felt homey. I chose a desk and sat down, ignoring the other three girls. The four of us sat there in silence, as did the other girls who filed in. We all sat in our seats just staring down at our hands until the teacher walked in. She looked to be mid thirties, with short bouncy blonde hair and laugh lines. She walked up to the front of the room and smiled too cheerfully. God this year was gonna suck. I frowned and shut my eyes.

"Hi girls," She smiled, "I'm Ms Miller, and I just wanted to welcome you to WSA. I know that some of you are new, and some of you are returning. But to me you are all new, so let's introduce ourselves. Say your name, how long you've been here, and a little bit about your self. I'll start. My name is Lucey Miller; This is my fourth year here and I have a degree in education and adolescents psychology. I teach here because when I was fifteen I made friends with the wrong crowd and got involved in lots of bad stuff. My parents sent me to rehab, but when I got out there wasn't a school like this for me to come to, so it wasn't until I was seventeen and spent seven months in juvi that I got help. So I'm here to help you, so you don't wind up like I did."

I couldn't help but be interested. I'd never met an adult who was like me when they were young.

"Okay, lets move clockwise, starting with you." She tapped on the desk of a girl with white blonde hair. "I'm Elizabeth, but call me Liz. This is my second year here. And raspberry vodka is my drink of choice, and I don't give a fuck what my mother says."

Ms Miller nodded. The next girl has long wavy brown hair and looked really indie. "I'm Ella." The second she spoke I knew she was high. Man, maybe this year won't be so bad after all. "This is my first year here, and..." She paused, "And...I love art."

"I'm Rebecca, Bex for short. This is my third year here and I love to write, so naturally english is my best class."

I was next. I didn't know what to say. "I'm Alice. I'm new here, and this time last year I was a totally different person."

"Hi everyone, I'm Tiffany, this is my third, and hopefully last, year here, and my mom says that if I can stay out of trouble all year then I can cheer next year in high school."

"I'm Tessa. I'm new. I was in an inpatient facility last year, and I _really _don't want to go back..."

"I'm Summer. I'm new. And I don't want to be here."

"None of us do." One of the girls, I think her name was Liz, coughed.

"I'm Katherine, or Kate, I'm new. I just got out of an inpatient center, and I don't think I can do it." She spoke really quietly and looked down at her desk. I couldn't imagine someone as pretty as her in rehab.

"I'm Julia, this is my first year here, and my foster mom told me either I come here or I go into a state home...so here I am." She smiled weakly, and I realized that she kind of looked like Bella. I wonder if all kids in the system have that same worn out, beaten down look.

"I'm Caroline, I'm new and I'm not troubled, I'm artistic."

We all just sat there, awkwardly. I wonder what Rosalie is doing right now. And Bella too. I looked around the classroom thinking that if I can just get through this year then I can move on with my life. I can be like Rosalie, and put the past behind me.

Ms Miller started talking about how class was going to work, but I didn't bother listening. I hope these girls like to party. I know Liz will, and probably Ella too.

A pile of papers were being passed along the row. It was a schedule of what our days would look like. I shoved it into my bag without looking at it. I looked over at Liz. She was the girl I know I need to get in good with. She was a lot taller than me, and had long straight white blonde hair. She looked mean, but I wasn't afraid of her.

I know that the only way I'll have any fun this year is if I get in good with Liz, so while Ms Miller droned about, I started carefully planning exactly how to get in that girls good books.

**Esme POV**

I walked into the house after dropping Bella off and went into the living room. I lay Carley on her back and sat down on the floor next to her. If this morning is any indication for how the rest of the year is gonna be, then I'm sure in for a crazy year. Or what if this morning was one of the _better _mornings? I leaned against the couch and prayed that this year would be a fresh start.

**All right, so what do you think? It's gonna be an interesting year, no? The next chapter will skip forward to October or November I think. It's up to you, do you guys want a halloween chapter?? Review and let me know!!**

**--Alice xx**


	28. Halloween

**Okay, sorry it took me so long to update, but I had a lack of motivation to write this chapter. Therefore it is not a great as I had hoped. It's more of a filler chapter, if you will. The next chapter will be out way faster, and will be waaaay more intense. So keep posted!**

**October 27**

**Edward POV**

Summer had quickly disappeared, fall taking it's place. And with the cooler weather outside came a much colder mood in the house.

I love my family, but I'm so excited to leave next year. I need out. I love Bella, with all of my heart, and Carley too, but I can't stay in the house. I still want to marry Bella one day, I just want to _live _first.

I've been looking at Universities, and I've pretty much decided that I'm going to apply for medicine at Dartmouth. I still have to talk to mom and dad, but this is what I want. Even if it means leaving Carley and Bella for a few years. I'll come back though, and then we can get married.

Bella and I are lying side by side on my bed, just enjoying each others company. Carley was fast asleep, and Bella and I were taking advantage of the time we had together. Since having Carley, Bella's changed. She isn't always after sex anymore, in fact, it hardly ever happens anymore. Now she likes to talk, which is great. I'm glad that she is becoming more of an adult.

I know she had a rough start at school, but she seems more adjusted. She's finally able to bring Carley to daycare. The mood in the house has been tense though. Especially in regards to Alice. I remember growing up, how perfect everything was. I had the best parents, and my siblings were all awesome, Alice was energetic and fun loving, Rosalie was your typical teenage girl, even before she really was a teenager, and my brothers were the people who I could beat up and play video games with, and we used to all go camping, and actually do things together, besides fight.

And then came Bella. She was beautiful, and I knew she was special. Even after I found out she was pregnant, I still loved her. And I know that it's not her fault that our family has fallen apart, but I still can't help but miss how things used to be.

"What are you thinking?" I asked her. Bella was so hard for me to understand. I think I have her all figured out, and then she surprises me.

She rolled over and then sat up. "I'm thinking that I'm hungry." She stood up and walked towards the door. Sometimes I don't get her. I know that there is so much going on in her head that I can never possibly understand it, but sometimes I wish she would let me in a little bit more.

"Are you coming?" She turned and smiled. Her brown hair hung in two loose braids, and she was wearing sweat pants and an old Forks High School hoodie. Her eyes sparkled, and for a moment I saw the little girl that she once was.

I nodded and followed her. I really do love her, but I know that leaving is what I need to do. She needs some time to figure out her life, and I need time to figure out my life.

Halfway to the kitchen Carley started crying, and Bella turned. The little girl I had seen moments ago was replaced with a warn out teenage mother who never got, and never will get, the chance to just live, like I am getting to do.

"I got her." I ran up the stairs into Carley's room. I picked her up and sat with her in the rocking chair. She was getting bigger every day. I loved Carley, and even though she cries a lot, and requires so much attention, I love her because she saved Bella.

Without Carley, life would be so much easier. Mom and Dad would have more time to help Alice. Bella would be free to live. We would be _normal. _I can't bring my self to resent Carley in any way though, because when it comes down to it, Carley saved Bella's life, even if Bella doesn't see that yet.

**Jasper's POV**

**October 28**

I'm good at being invisible. Great, really. At home, at school, in life. At home I'm lowest on the priority list. I do my homework, study hard, and never get into trouble. Same goes at school.

Rosalie on the other hand is the opposite. She makes sure she is never invisible. Peter and I are walking down the hallway on our way to English when we pass Rosalie and some of her fellow cheerleader friends in the hallway. Even though there is only four of them, people move aside to let them pass.

"Dude," Peter turns and looks at Rose, "Your sister is h-"

"Shut up!" I punched his arm and led him into the classroom. Rosalie _has_ made a huge turn around though. She's outgoing, friendly, and has started to go back to her old obnoxious self. A part of her is different though. She is more caring, and she's become like 'bff's' with God. Not that I'm judging, but whatever.

Being a boy in the Cullen family is totally different than being a girl. Edward, Emmett and I talk about it sometimes. Not like stupid, mushy, heart felt talks, just like, y'know, we sometimes bring it up around the x box.

I slid into a desk at the back of the class and pulled out my notebook. I've never been around a baby before Carley, and I don't know if I like it. I like her alright, but I don't like what she did to our family. Seeing Bella all tired and warn out makes me never want to have kids. At least not for a super long time.

I hope that Carley has a damn good childhood, because she stole ours away from us. I don't really blame Carley, though. More so I blame Bella. It sounds mean, but can you blame me? Before Bella came life was pretty close to perfect. And I know that of course Bella can't be blamed for what happened to Rosalie, but she can be blamed for Alice. If Bella wasn't here, mom and dad wouldn't have to put so much energy into her, and Alice wouldn't have gotten into trouble.

I know it's not fair to blame Bella, but I can't help it. I know that Edward loves her and all, and I'm sorry that her life sucked so much, but I sometimes wish that another family had taken her, so that my family could have stayed like it was.

"Mr Hale?" The teacher was calling on me, but I hadn't even heard the question.

"Sorry ma'am, can you, uh, repeat that?" I ducked my head and wished that it was this time last year. Back when life was simple and everyone was happy.

Happiness is relative that way, I guess. Right now Bella is happy, and I bet she wouldn't wish it was last year no matter how much I payed her. I love Bella, and I'm happy that she's happy, but I don't think that the happiness of the rest of the family was fair price to pay.

**October 31st**

**Bella POV**

Today was my second halloween. If we're being technical I guess it's my sixteenth, but it's only my second year celebrating it. Last year I was out getting drunk out of my mind. This year I'm trying to put together a costume for the baby I never thought I'd have.

Carley was sitting in the baby swing while I laid her costume out. Of course she's not really old enough to go trick or treating, but I never got to go as a child, so I'm actually really excited to take her. Dani was going to come over with Adeline, and the four of us would go around my block together. No one else could, or more accurately, would come with me.

Alice was at some party getting wasted behind Esme's back, and Rosalie was at a bonfire for the cheerleaders and football players. I had kind of assumed that Edward would come, but he said that it's his senior year, and he really wants to be with his friends. I was kind of surprised, but I guess I can't get mad.

"Are you excited?" I lifted Carley up and smiled at her. She made a little noise back, which I took as a yes. I got her dressed and then put a little bow on her head. "You are the prettiest princess ever." I cooed.

I wonder what I did for my first halloween. Probably nothing. I was probably in some crib, alone. Thinking about how shitty my childhood was makes me want to give Carley the best one possible. She will look back on her life and smile. She will _not _be regretful, or angry. I won't let it happen.

I heard the doorbell ring, and I grabbed Carley and went down to greet Dani. I gave her an awkward one armed hug.

"Hi Adeline," I smiled at her, "You look so pretty." Dani had dressed her in a red and black lady bug costume and she was wearing a little headband with the antenna.

"Carley too. You did an awesome job with the costume Bells. She looks great."

"Thanks." I couldn't help but feel proud. Maybe I wasn't so bad at this mothering thing. "Ready?"

"Yep." Dani clipped Adeline into the stroller and I did the same with Carley. I said goodbye to Esme and then we headed out. It was early, and the streets were still pretty quiet. We decided to just walk around for a while before we started collecting candy.

Sometimes I feel like Dani is the only person I can talk to, cause she's the only person that really _gets _it.

"Edward's been really weird lately." I said as Dani and I pushed the strollers down the street.

"What do you mean?" Two princess raced by us, their mothers calling out for them to look out for cars. Would that be Dani and I in a few years?

"I dunno." I shrugged, "It seems like he's distancing him self. Like I did something wrong."

"He's probably thrown off by the baby. He's a seventeen year old guy, I doubt he wants to be tied down by a baby. He's only human, just maybe let him breath. He loves you," She squeezed my shoulder, "I doubt he's going anywhere."

"Yeah, I guess." Come to think of it, all of the boys have been acting weird around me. Jasper pretty much ignores me, and Emmett, who isn't around much anymore, seems almost scared of Carley. I thought Edward was above that, but maybe not.

"Don't stress Bella. A baby is a lot of responsibility, maybe he just wants the chance to be a teenager before he has to be a dad."

"Don't you think I want that too?" My voice was on the edge. "I want to be a teenager too!"

"Bella, calm down."

"This is so frustrating. If he leaves me, I swear..."

"He won't leave you. Just let him have his space. Trust me, he loves you."

I looked down at Carley, sitting in her stroller, innocent to the chaos around her. Did we do this to our family? We messed with their perfect picture, and while Carlisle and Esme sort of have to put up with me, none of the other kids do. I fucked everything up, and I don't blame them for being pissed at me.

"No more boy talk." I shook the negative thoughts out of my head. "Tonight is special, let's enjoy it."

"Thats the spirit!" Dani laughed. "Let's go get that candy!"

We went up to our first house, and the lady looked at us with the dirtiest expression. "Trick or treat." I sad, my voice hidden in my throat. I should have expected this.

She gave up each a few chocolate bars, the whole time not taking her eyes off of the babies.

I rolled my eyes and we walked away. "She thinks we're using them for candy." Dani muttered. "God, this is so annoying."

"Ignore it. We're not using them. We're doing this _for _them. We're doing this for the memories. Even if they don't remember it, it's their first halloween, and some stranger who doesn't know shit about us is not going to ruin that."

Dani nodded, but I know she's upset. She hates when people judge her. She's a fucking good mother, and she wants people to know. I can shrug off people stares cause I know their all hoes, but she can't. She takes it personally.

"Let's do like a few more houses, then just go to Wal Mart, buy a big box of chocolate, and go back to my house for a movie or something." I suggested. I knew tonight was kind of a bust.

"Okay." We did five more houses and then headed to the strip mall.

This definitely wasn't the exciting night I had planned, but I still managed to put on a smile. It doesn't matter if I'm having fun or not, as long as Carley is.

Later that night, once Dani was gone and the house was quiet I decorated my room in orange and black streamers, brought the carved pumpkin from outside into my room, and then woke Carley up. I dressed her in her costume and me in mine.

"We're going to have our own party." I placed a Wiggles Halloween into the DVD player and then placed Carley in her swing. While we watched I told her about trick or treating, and how much fun it will be once she's older, and how no matter what anyone else says, I love her.

"Happy Halloween baby girl."

Happiness is a tricky thing. I'm happier now then I've ever been, but I know that's not true for the rest of the family. Things are falling apart. Jasper hates me. Emmett would rather be out with friends than at home, and Edward is drifting away. Yet I can't let my smile fade, even for a second, because Carley's happiness depends on mine.

I guess happiness is relative that way.

**So there's some insight into the guys. More to come. The next chapter will be really intense, with lots going on. But please review guys! If I don't get reviews then I have no motivation to write. So yeah. Reviews are much appreciated. **

**-Alice- **


	29. November

**Here's another chapter. Enjoyy : )**

**November 28th**

**Edward POV**

It is raining outside, not that rain isn't normal, it just fits todays mood. I woke up this morning to a screaming Carley and a super frustrated Bella. Mornings like this are especially difficult, because I'm not totally sure where my place is. If I go over and try to help Bella, and tell that it'll all be okay, then she tells me to fuck off, but if I don't do anything then tonight she'll be mad that I didn't help her. It's a lose-lose situation.

I figure it's better to do something, so I go down to the kitchen and heat a bottle for Carley and get breakfast for Bella and then I go up to her room. "Bells?" I knock on her already half open door. Carley is in her baby bounce, still screaming, and Bella is in the bathroom trying to get ready.

I place the food on her desk and go to pick up Carley. I always feel sort of awkward when I'm holding her, like I'm sort of the father figure in her life, but not really. I don't really think of her as my daughter, even though Bella says I should.

"What's wrong Carley?" I ask her. "Why are you crying? Are you hungry?" I sit down on the edge of Bella's bed and give Carley her bottle. Immediately she stops crying, and she looks up at me. She finished almost the whole bottle, and then I burp her and get her dressed.

Bella comes out of the bathroom looking as if she barely slept. "Thank you." She sighs, "I don't know what I would do without you." She wolf down the pancakes I brought her and then packs Carley up.

"My pleasure." I give her a quick kiss, and then we headed to the kitchen. When she says things like 'I don't know what I would do without you,' it makes me feel guilty for wanting to leave. But I also really don't want to be stuck here.

"Bye," Bella leaned forward and kissed me goodbye. "I love you."

"Love you too." I just stood there as she walked out to her car.

I turned to mom, who was making Alice's lunch. "Am I a bad person for wanting to leave?"

"No," She looked up. "You're not. You're someone who has worked hard his whole life and wants to explore the world. There is nothing wrong with that. She'll understand. You're seventeen, and you shouldn't be tied down with someone else's baby."

"It's not her fault though." Why am I defending Bella? I'm the one who wants to leave. Fuck, why are things to complicated?

"Let dad and I help Bella. We are the parents, and we will take really good care of her. And then once you are done school you guys can see what happens. But don't stay here just because of Bella. She won't be alone Edward, I promise. She'll have all of us."

"I guess. I just don't think I can do that to her."

"You haven't even been accepted yet." She pointed out, "Wait until you know if leaving is really an option before you stress."

I nodded. "Alright." Rosalie and Jasper appeared in the doorway. "Ready?"

They nodded, and we headed out into the rain. Rosalie was on her phone the whole way to the school, and I couldn't help but be proud of how much progress she had made in the past eleven months. And then I can't help but feel a pang of pity for Bella. If she hadn't had a baby, then this could have been her life. She could be like Rosalie. She could have a future full of possibilities, and I wouldn't be feeling so damn guilty about wanting to leave her.

I love being at school, because it's an escape from the real world. Emmett and Jasper say the same thing, and I'm sure Rosalie feels the same way. I have no clue about Alice, because no one knows what the fuck is going on in her head.

The school day always comes to an end though, and I always have to go back to real life. Except today when I walked into the house Bella didn't shove a screaming baby into my arms. Today, mom was waiting with a thick envelope.

"From Dartmouth!" She handed it to me. "Open it!"

I was almost afraid to. I was scared of what is going to be written. "You do it." I felt like a little kid, but I don't care.

She ripped open the envelope, and then screamed. "You got in!" She threw her arms around me. "Sweetheart, I am _so _proud of you!"

I hugged her back, but I don't feel as excited as I should. Seeing the letter, seeing the words, knowing that they want _me, _I know that I have to go. And as exciting as that is, leaving Bella is not something that I want to celebrate. She is going to hate me.

**Alice POV**

I fucking Hate this school. With a capital H. I've been here three months and I'm ready to just quit. I'm failing a lot of my classes cause I just don't give a shit, and I usually skip out on my "one on one" sessions with Ms Miller, and during group time I never really say anything.

I was sitting on the steps in front of the school, waiting for mom to come pick me up.

"Hey girl," Ella bounced down the first few sats, and then sat next to me. She pulled a pack of smokes out of her oversized bag, and offered one to me. I borrowed her lighter, and we sat there in silence for a few minutes.

Ella was one of the coolest people I've ever known. I mean, Lauren was okay, for a catholic school girl, but Ella was just the best.

Ella and I clicked right away. We were both...different. We weren't outwardly defiant, like Liz, but we weren't shy or scared of getting in trouble like some of the other kids. And no matter what anyone said, we didn't stop drinking, or smoking, or blazing. I'd never gotten high before I met Ella, but now it's no big deal.

But the thing I liked best about Ella was that she was a real friend. She wasn't someone to just get fucked with, like Liz, who was only our friend when we were drinking, but she was someone who I had fun with, even sober.

"Why are you still here?" I asked her. Normally once the busses left, the school was quiet.

"My meeting with Ms Miller went late."

"You go to those?" I sat up straighter, and turned towards her.

"Yeah. Don't you?"

"No! I've only gone a few times. If you meet with her and stuff, why do you still do all of this?" I indicated towards her cigarette.

"I go, I listen to what she has to say, and then I choose weather or not to listen. She can't control what I do." She stomped out her cigarette, and then lit another one. I did the same.

"I dunno." I told her. "I just don't even want her opinion."

This is where Ella and I are totally different. She's not a trouble maker. She doesn't do things like dye her hair or pierce her own lip. She's not a bad kid, she doesn't sneak behind her mothers back, and steal booze. Not that her parents approve of what she's doing, but her family is really different from mine.

I don't go to my meetings because I don't want help. Which is weird, because I want to be happy. I don't want things to be better though, I want to go back in time when things were better.

The doors to the school opened, and I turned to look at who was coming. Ms Miller walked out of the school, and Ella immediately stomped out her cigarette. That's another area where we differ-I don't care. I kept on smoking, ignoring the fact that Ms Miller would probably be mad.

"Hi girls." She smiled.

"Hi." We said in unison.

"Alice, I haven't seen you lately."

"I've been in class."

"Yes, but I mean I haven't seen you in any of our meetings." Her face was really serious.

"That's because I haven't been there."

Ella was hiding her face, probably laughing. Even though she never did it her self, she found it funny when I talked back to people.

"I've realized that. But you need to be. It's requirement."

I looked up at her, and then took a long drag, as if to mock her.

Out of the corner of my eye I saw my mom pull into the parking lot, I stomped out my smoke and then jumped up. "My mom's here." I stuck a piece of gum in my mouth. "See you tomorrow."

I ran over the car and climbed in, leaving Ms Miller and Ella on the steps.

**November 29th**

**(Still Alice's POV)**

Rosalie and I were the only one's in the kitchen. Everyone else was still rushing to get ready. Rosalie looked good, normal. She was wearing skinny jeans, stiletto boots, a v neck t-shirt and a jacket, and of course she was texting. Normal.

I looked normal too, I guess. I was wearing leggings and long shirt, with a pair of keds. At first glance we looked like two normal kids.

All of a sudden my vision clouded, and I saw myself sitting in the classroom with Ms Miller. Her lips were moving, but I couldn't hear anything.

I opened my eyes again, and dropped the plate I was holding. What was _that? _I'd been having those...day dreams...more lately, and they always seem to come true.

"Geez Alice, be careful." Rosalie snapped. I ignored her, and swept up the glass. Yeah, I was not normal. No matter how much I try to convince my self, it's not true.

"I'm leaving." I said as I grabbed my bag. I doubt Rosalie cared, but I felt like I had to mark my exit. The bus wouldn't come for another ten minutes, but I needed some air. I needed out of that house. I needed to be away from the craziness.

I was one of the first ones in the class. Tiffany and Summer were sitting next to each other, giggling. I steered clear of them. Tessa was alone in her corner, but I knew not to go near her either. She was convinced that if she talked to any of us, she would relapse, and she'd rather be a social outcast then go back to the place she was last year.

I sat in my desk, hoping Ella would get here quick. I don't have a lot of people to talk to. Most of the girls here wanted to get better, they wanted to work hard so that they could get on with their lives. Even the ones who refused to talk at first had started participating, but I was the hold out. I wouldn't do it. I don't want to be here, and I refuse to work hard.

Ella didn't arrive until right when the bell rang, so I didn't have the chance to talk to her. Thursday's we have gym first period, so I'd talk to her then.

We all stood up to go change, but Ms Miller called me over. "Alice, you've been excused from gym today. You and I are going to use this time to chat."

"Why?" I love gym, and I don't want to miss it just to sit here and talk.

"Because, I think we need to."

"I don't want to..." I whined, but she led me over to the couch anyways. Fine, if this is how she wants to play, then good luck getting me to say anything.

"How are you?" She asked.

"Hungover." I said. This wasn't true, but why make this easy?

"You remind me so much of me when I was fifteen."

"I'm thirteen." I told her.

"So you are. High school next year, that's exciting."

"No. I'm not going." Again, this wasn't true. I would be going _somewhere_, but not by choice.

Ms Miller looked at me. "Fine," I caved, "I'm going, but I don't know where and I'm not excited."

"What's your local school?"

"McKinley."

"Will you go there?"

"Over my moms dead body. We all know I would never finish if I went to public school. I'll probably be stuck here."

"It's not so bad here, is it?"

"Going to this school is a constant reminder that I'm a fuck up. I'm not normal enough for public school. Even my sister goes to public school and she - well she has way more of a reason to be fucked up than me. But she went to her special stupid place, got help and got over it. She dealt and she moved on. Me, I have no reason to be like this. No excuse." Where did that come from? So much for my not talking plan.

"Then why are you?"

"At first I wanted to get away from my life. And everything seems better when you're drunk. And then I started to party, and started smoking, and it all went down hill from there."

"Why do you never come to our meetings?"

"Because I don't want to."

"Why not?"

"What good will it do?"

"I can help you. We can work out whatever you're feeling."

"But you see, thats the problem. So we work it out, I'm thirteen, I'll still be stuck at home. I'll still have to deal with my life. Even if I change, Bella won't. Rosalie won't. My mother will be still be focused on Bella, she'll probably always worry about Rosalie, and then I'll be invisible again! It's a fucking cycle. At least now I'm important. Every time I come home drunk or high, my mother is there for me. As angry as she is, she pays attention to me! She _notices _me!"

"So you think that negative attention is better than good attention?"

"Isn't it?" I challenged.

"No it's not, but first why don't you tell me about your family?"

I could my self slipping into her trap. She was going to fucking try and help me, and then where will I be?

"No. I'm done talking to you." I crossed my arms and turned away from her.

"But Alice, we just started."

"I don't want you to help me. Maybe I'll just go home and drink my self into a coma, then everyone will be happy."

"Alice, don't even kid about that. Now, there's an hour and ten minutes until the class comes back. I'm happy to just sit here, or maybe we can put this time to good use and actually talk."

"I have nothing to talk about." I stood up off the couch and walked over to my desk. I sat down and pulled out my iPod. I was perfectly happy to sit here for an hour too.

"I've talked to your parents, you know." My head shot up. Mom hadn't said anything. Surely she was lying, because if Ms Miller had called home, mom would have said _something. _

"I don't believe you." She was lying, it was obvious. And I'm not stupid, I know when someone is lying, so that I'll tell them what they want to hear. "And if you did talk to her, then why are you asking about my family?"

"We don't talk about your siblings, we talk about you. About you not showing up for our meetings, about you not doing well in class."

"Why isn't she mad?" I challenged. Mom _would _be mad.

"Coming to a new school can be difficult, especially one so different from public school. We wanted to give you time to adjust, but time's up."

"What does that mean?"

"It means that I'm not going to let you skip out on classwork, it means that I'm going to get to know you. Maybe you don't want my help, but someday you might want a friend, someone who is on your side."

"What do you know about me?"

"I know that you're thirteen. I know that you are the youngest in the family. I know that you were home schooled last year. Which shows that your mother does care, if she took the time to do that."

"False. I was home school for the end of last year. I went to school up until like the end of April or May or something."

"See, I didn't know that. What school were you at?"

"Ask my mother, since you two are _obviously _BFF's. I'm done."

I sat in my chair, stuck my headphones and tuned her out. _Fuck _this.

**Bella POV**

**(Same day)**

"Bella?" Edward knocked on my bedroom door.

I sat up, "Yeah?"

He walked into my room and sat on the end of my bed. He looked really serious, and my heart started beating. He was going to tell me something, and from the look on his face, it was big.

Oh my God, I bet he's going to ask me to marry him. I tried to calm my self down. As much as I want to say yes, I want to be done high school. I know it's still two and half years off, but love waits, right?

"Edward," I took his hand, "I love you so much. I really do, and I _so_ want to marry you some day, but I think we should just focus on finishing school first."

His eyes shifted, and he pulled his arm away. "That's not what I want to talk about Bells."

"Then what is it?" I moved back on the bed.

"Bella, I got accepted to Dartmouth." Dartmouth? But that's far! He would never leave me. He would never hurt me in that way. Not Edward. "And I've decided to go."

"What?" I leapt of the bed. "You're leaving me?" Tears filled my eyes. "You're the only one who even cares about me in this house!"

"That's not true. Esme puts her whole life into helping you. And you know what, I just need some space. I need some time to live my life. I still want to marry you, but let's just get some distance first. Let's live!"

"While you're fucking living it up, I'll be stuck here with a god damn baby! So you go an live, but I'll be stuck here, alone and fucking _miserable_." I know what I was saying wasn't fair to Carley, but I'm so angry that I don't even care. "How can you do this to me?" I cried. "Don't you love me?"

"I do!" He insisted, "But it's not fair to me to stay here. I am getting the opportunity of a life time, and I don't want to waste it, and then regret it for the rest of my life!"

I took a step back. "You would _regret _being with me?"

"No! I didn't say that! Bella you're great, but I'm not ready for this much commitment. I love you, and I want to help you in any way possible, and maybe one day we will be together, but not right now. I need to explore the world."

"Fine!" I threw my arms up in the air. "Be that way." I pulled a duffel bag out of my closet ad started throwing clothes in. Then I packed up all of Carley's stuff and went and got her up. I dressed her up warm and buckled her into her baby carrier.

"Bella, what are you doing?"

"If you're getting to explore the world, then I want to as well. It's only fucking fair." I grabbed my bag and stormed out of my room.

Alice appeared in the hallway. "What's going on she asked. It looks like she'd been crying.

"I need out. I need to get away for a few days." I snapped.

"Wait," She said, ducking into her room. She emerged a minute later with a backpack. "I'm coming too."

"No you're not!" Edward told her, "Alice get back in your room, and Bella you do the same."

"You are no longer my boyfriend, so I no longer give a rat's ass about what you say."

"So can I come?" Alice asked.

Why not? It'll be nice to have some company. I actually like Alice, she's a pretty cool kid, even if she does have her issues. But I'm not one to talk, and who am I to deny the kid some adventure. "Sure, but we're leaving right now."

"Fine by me." Alice followed me down the stairs and into the kitchen. Carlisle and Esme were out for the night, so it made for an easy escape.

"Thanks for nothing." I hissed at Edward as we stormed out the door. With Alice close on my heels I went out to my car and strapped Carley in. It was late, and dark, so she had fallen right back asleep. Alice climbed into the passengers seat.

Edward ran into the garage, yelling after us. "Just tell me where you're going at least." He begged, but I ignored him.

With Carley sleeping behind me, and Alice silent next to me, I drove off into the night.

I turned to Alice. I wonder why she was so eager to leave. "Bad day?" I asked her.

"Bad fucking week." She said. "Or bad school year. Bad year. God, things are just not good right now."

"Amen sista." I turned on the radio.

Screw school, screw Edward, screw life. I was doing my own thing now, and nobody was going to stop me.

**Pretty jam packed chapter, no? So, what do you think is going to happen next? Any idea's where Bella and Alice are going? Please REVIEW! The more reviews the more I want to write! So please just leave something letting me know that you read this chapter ! **

**Thanks!**

**xx Alice**


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